OP, I think it's normal and developmental. My DD1 is 7 and still gets distracted and forgets things that she knows she's supposed to do from time to time. Drives me batty! Simple things like not putting hair brushes away where they go (sounds minor, but she's lost three...!), not remembering things that she knows are 'rules'.
It does pass, on the whole, DD1 is now very responsible and can be trusted to look after things pretty well for her age.
I think consequences really do have to fit the behaviour itself. I have always tried to apply this rule (although sometimes I get really stuck and it's a pretty imaginative link to the consequence!). Some things are just memory issues, like Heaven said. They get distracted or excited and just forget your previous instructions. I'd just reiterate why the rule is so important - but really make sure you are stopping, getting at her level and as much as possible showing her why it's dangerous/not a good idea. So in the car, show her how far down she would fall and what she could hit her head on, explain how sometimes a car might need to stop very suddenly and you really don't want her to get hurt, etc. It's hard to be patient when you're getting home/driving, but looking her in the eye and talking calmly might just reiterate it better.
DD2 could undo her seatbelt at 6 mths. I can see a lot of boundary pushing in her future...
Talking is huge. Keeping your cools is hard, but even more important. TBH it doesn't sound like she's being malicious or purposefully naughty. It sounds like she's having a bit of a vague moment. I can still remember being about her age and doing similar strange things. Absolutely no idea why, like opening the front door. Biting through food packaging because I wanted to see what it felt like on my teeth. And I remember DS going through it too. I think if it's just a phase out try and remember that consequences might not be as effective. And it's a good lesson for mum and dad too that not everything that happens is a direct result of disobeying the rules. Sometimes it is innocent and forgetful. And we all have moments like that. But it's one for you both to talk about the fact that you feel angry and scared or upset because that happened and because what could have happened. Because that's more understandable to her than a consequence IMO. In my case a consequence of mess etc would be cleaning it up. And for the front door it might be ensuring they stay with you at all times (as boring as it is for them) until they can remember not to open the front door. And I would constantly ask her every couple of minutes to show me my hands in the car so you know that she will remember not to touch the seatbelt and realise how important it is to you. Follow through is important to me. It's our job. A little chat and then nothing doesn't work. Kids need repetition to learn. And it's our job to teach them. My kids may have found me annoying because I would treat a situation as a new thing to learn so it would be discussed at length over and over many times over the next week or months until I felt they got it. Just like learning sight words or maths equations, or reminders to go to the toilet when toilet training. It doesn't matter what it is they learn the same way. And as they get older it takes less for it to sink in.
So true that the 6 months before school is the hardest.
My elder DD went through a phase with the door too. She'd just wander off Luckily we have a quiet street, but with 2 police for parents you'd think we'd have that one covered lol. In the end I just had to make sure the screen was key locked and the key up high. A total PITA but she forgot about it after a bit.
I did also have to get DS's seat with the harness back out. He was not a fan of that at all. Thankfully though he saw the potential and I didn't need to install it back in the car (luckily as he's too big for it lol) When I get in the car and when I'm about to stop it I say "what's the rule with our seatbelts?", and generally he's pretty good now. Especially if it's followed up with a few "that's great you left your seatbelt done up until it was safe to take it off!!"s. They have to leave them buckled until I open their door.
Sounds all pretty normal to me. Assert your authority but never with hold dinner from a child. That is not a suitable punishment and really bothers me when people say they've done that.
So nice to read this and see that my DS is actually quite normal and that we're not messing things up too badly.
This is exactly the sort of thing he's doing at the moment (nearly 4) and we're doing most of the stuff you guys mention. I'll try harder to get down to his level and also keep more of an eye out for the positives and otherwise try to relax a bit.
I can see a lot of boundary pushing in her future...
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Luckily we have a quiet street, but with 2 police for parents you'd think we'd have that one covered lol. In the end I just had to make sure the screen was key locked and the key up high. A total PITA but she forgot about it after a bit.
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