Sounds like my niece, she's 3.5 yrs now but went through a really trying patch around 2.5-3 yrs. She did the poo thing, used to hide somewhere and put her hands in it etc. It was a control thing for her, eventually they stopped it by saying that she would need to wear big girl undies for their upcoming snow trip... not before a lot of 'accidents' though.
She got very whingey and needy, and would turn it on for her mum and dad even if she'd spent the day with her grandma and been fine. For her it was a way of showing she really needed some one-on-one time with her mum, some time to play and bond again. My 2.5 yr old ds is doing the same with me atm and I was able to spend some extra time with him yesterday and already his behaviour seemed to immediately change for the better. I feel bad bc I know it's what he needs but I can't give it to him the way I used to when it was just him & me. I know it's not always possible to drop everything and give her that time, but maybe take the chance if you get to.
Can you let her in to the kitchen to choose her own bowl, maybe put a bottom drawer filled with her stuff? (Bowls, plates, cups, cutlery) so she can have a bit of control? Can you let her help you make the sandwich? I give ds a blunt butter knife or one of his knives, let him dig out some butter and try to spread... then it's mummy's turn (then the butter actually gets spread [emoji6]), then ds's turn for Vegemite (peanut butter in our house!) etc. They really love that stuff. We are getting 'big boy' from ds all the time now... even if he gets told off he tells us 'big boy' - like he can do what he wants bc he's a big boy now! Lol.
Try and stay calm and choose your battles, I've learnt that you can't argue with a 2 yr old... it's mind bending! Try and distract her from 'bad behaviours' (smacking you in face, tipping water on floor). I try and react swiftly and calmly (not all the time obviously). And try not to take it personally, she doesn't do it to annoy you (even though it feels that way), she's not that clever yet. Something my sister told me the other day (she works with young children/children with autism/behavioural issues) is good behaviours are needs being met, bad behaviours are needs not being met. I'm not saying you're not meeting her needs, it's just something I try to remember when I'm in the middle of ds's bad behaviours... keeps me a little bit more calm.
Sorry, turned in to a monster post, but I think it's bc I'm going through similar issues!! Hugs. Xx