Did anyone else feel like this?

[Powelly]

Hi All,

I'm currently 6.5 weeks pregnant with my second child. I lost my first baby in May 07, 19 weeks into the pregnancy, followed by my now 2.5 year old son, and have had two recent miscarriages. Whilst I'm delighted to be pregnant, I can't help but feel really nervous, anxious and worried about my ability to cope both physically and mentally (I started suffering anxiety after the first loss and it affects me every now and then when I'm really stressed). I've got awful morning sickness and am so exhausted and unfortunately my early pregnancy has also coincided with my son hitting the peak of the terrible two's so I'm just feeling like I've bitten off more than I can chew and I feel guilty for feeling this way. I work 3 days a week and have my son at home the other days and am just struggling. Did anyone else have similar feelings and do they go away as things progress? I'm petrified of getting depression or something and would like to enjoy this pregnancy as it will be our last.

Thanks so much :-)

[mummylion]

Hi, I hope that things are OK withthis pg, things will get easier as you pass each milestone then you can relax. My eldest two are very close in age and whilst it was hard, once I knew things were established it was fine. Is there any way that you could have your so looked after by a friend or relative for a couple of hours on the days you don't work? I really appreciate the time I have for me when I am not working. I did find popping a film on for my eldest whilst I 'rested' on the sofa with him gave me a break.
Take care

[sarahrach]

Honey - for me the fear is almost paralysing at the moment. Its like I've jumped into a freezing cold pool and I can't catch my breath. The only way I'm coping is a day at a time. So whilst I can't really help with other parts of your question, perhaps try to see if you can just concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other and not look too far forward for the time being and hopefully before you know it that mountain won't seem so high. Well at least that's what I'm telling myself...

[Powelly]

Sarahrach - ah sweetie, it's awfully draining the first few weeks, hence this post! I felt up and down and happy and sad and excited to be pregnant but at times I wanted not to be as well as I knew the journey ahead was going to be soooo long and soooo hard. But as the time goes on, the crappy days are outweighed by the better days as the news slowly sinks in and things progress. My scariest time is almost upon me, with my 19 week scan. I feel sick about it but am doing my best to remain calm. And if ONE MORE PERSON tells me that stress is bad for the baby I'm going to thump them! As if I like feeling uptight and worried!!!

So you are doing the right thing by putting one foot in front of the other. It's not a fun journey, after loss, but I'm sure at the end we'll know it was worth it. Big hugs and if you want to talk more, let me know.

Mummylion - thanks for your reply and for your reassurance! It's funny having stress of pregnancy after loss and then having the normal fears any other mother has, like how will i ever manage with two. When I wrote that post my DS was going through a crazy stage, very angry and out of sorts and just had this behavior I didn't know what to do with. He's settled down and has been so lovely again which makes things easier. It's certainly a rollercoaster this game of motherhood!!!