Honey - for me the fear is almost paralysing at the moment. Its like I've jumped into a freezing cold pool and I can't catch my breath. The only way I'm coping is a day at a time. So whilst I can't really help with other parts of your question, perhaps try to see if you can just concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other and not look too far forward for the time being and hopefully before you know it that mountain won't seem so high. Well at least that's what I'm telling myself...