I'd waive the fees as a sign of my sympathy. Definitely not pity. Some people will make frozen meals to help ease the stress and overwhelmingness of the situation, others will come over and clean etc. As a doula I would waive my fee. If the couple were adamant on paying, I'd tell them to take their time. It's a tough call, and I think women who have experienced stillbirth and late loss have a slightly different perspective on it (ofcorse). That's not just a possibility for them, it's a reality. It's not for me, but early loss is. But for others it's not. To me, if late loss is going to occur, it's going to be an awful shock, regardless of whether there was a line on your doula contract pertaining to the fact that stillbirth is a possibility. But that's just me. I wouldn't address the fees like that unless I needed to.
I would see it as a sign of sympathy as well, not pity. A sympathy card would be nice, but like a PP said, maybe a seperate piece of paper stating you would waive the fee rather than on the card itself. And in terms of the contract, if it were me, after what I've been through, you probably should put it in there. There's no beating around the bush, no sweeping it under the carpet. Stillbirth happens, it can happen very unexpectedly. It is something women don't want to talk about when they're pregnant, but unfortunately it does happen. If you just have a little section at the bottom stating what will happen, and women can want to know about it or not. It's up to them, but at least you know you've planned for everything....if that makes sense?
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