Thank you all for all your lovely, supportive comments. They made me tear up.

I was so nervous hitting submit, like it might jinx things, but I'm hoping lots of support will get us through.

We wont know if bub is probably OK until late 2nd/3rd trimester and wont be 100% sure until bub is born alive and everything checks out OK. The lovely Audax has suggested I get a tattoo saying "the odds are on our side". I think it can now be my new motto.

With sadness there is joy and with joy there is sorrow. I so wish Leo was with us now to share all this. And I wish I could tell Lulu about the baby - she'd be so excited - but yanno, I think somehow she knows.