WOW
Thanks for all the replies! it's amazing how less alone I feel - not wanting to tell many people until the 12th week. I'm not really sure if I'm replying to the thread or directly to IK under whose post I clicked on "quick reply".

IK - You're right, he needs to know. Bugger! I am a pretty family oriented person and I DO really want the child to know the father, he is a lovely man and I really like him as a person - though I dont know him THAT well. It's just that I had a really bad experience with my last pregnancy. I had started a rebound relationship (from my last girlfriend), very open about the fact that I was re-bounding and ALSO desperate to have children and identifying as a lesbian. I told him I would under no circumstances had a termination if I should accidently fall pregnant. I warned him to always use condoms, that my body was asking for a baby and thats why we were having sex. He didn't want kids and we used condoms. We were together for about 3 months before I moved back to melbourne, and continued seeing eachother as he came to melbourne twice for work in the following year. I was busy and not seeing anyone else. The condom broke once and in the following three days forgot to take the morning after pill. (I was working 16 hours a day, moved into a new house and looking after my dog).
He blamed me for now ruining his life if I didn't terminate. He told me that the baby would be spastic because my genes were all screwed up, I can't begin to tell you how hellish it was knowing that I was going to be related to him for the rest of my life!!!! He had changed so dramatically from being what appeared to be a caring gentle man into a werewolf and I am scared it will happen again.

I think it is a good idea to text him if the little one is still alive at 12 weeks. I am still scared about his reaction. Either he will blame me for ruining his life, or he will get some false sense of duty and want to have a relationship with me and be the perfect father. I can't imagine what it would feel like to be forced to be a father - if only in name. sigh.