Young, student and pregnant!

[Sonja89]

Hello ladies.
I just registred, so Im brand new here.
I Started a 5 years course at uni 5 weeks ago, and found out 6 weeks ago that Im pregnant. I am now 9 weeks pregnant and just decided to keep it. Me and my boyfriend broke up the week before I found out about my pregnancy because of religion, but we are now talking about getting back together and do this as a family. I am from Norway, so Im an international student but im living with my mum in Preston, Melbourne. I am really confused about what I should do about my exboyfriend. He is a muslim and I have a christian background. He is not very strict, but he is religious and we have diffrent views on how to raise kids etc. He is 26 years old and a really nice guy. If it wasnt for our religious diffrences there wouldn't be a doubt in my mind about sharing my life with him.

Does anyone have any experience with diffrent religions, I really love him but I dont know if it can work out.

Also, are there any young pregnant students out there? Im freaking out about studying at uni and having a baby in my first year. It's going to be soo hard. Im studying Law so I really have to focus and commit!

Hope someone can help me out, or share their oppinion!

Cheers,
Sonja

[New Dawn]

welcome to BB

there are a few place you might want to have a look...

there is the Belly buddy group , young mum's group and we do have a religion part aswell I will see if I can find them and post the links..

ok here is the belly buddy
here is the religion
and here is where young mum and single parentforums are

HTH

[Sonja89]

Thank you, that would be great!

[Me+him+bub]

HI THERE!!! im 21 and in my 4th year of uni and pregnant! it is tough but you can do it! i even have 3 months internship when im in 3rd trimester and will be on my feet all day and not payed a cent but i will get through! ask me anything and i will be able to help im sure, you can also put in for special consideration to help if your marks drop due to pregnancy issues. Im off to an exam ( on a saturday i know! ) and ive just vomited twice so will be a struggle BUT like i said if you really want to get there you will, you are young and its best to get that degree behind you, maybe even go part time for a year or so? please chat to me if you feel the need!

[kelebek]

to BB

Just wanted to let you know that my sis had her first bub at 19, the same year she finished her first year of uni. Not only did she go onto complete her uni degree but she also had another child. So it may have taken a bit longer but definitely can be done.

Good luck, hope you can work through your religious difference. Communication will be the most important thing, make sure you can talk through your problems together.

Hope you have a healthy and happy pregnancy

[Kailani]

Hi Sonja

With regards to your relationship, I don't believe religion should keep the two of you apart especially as you've said that it is the ONLY thing creating doubts.

With uni, I fell pregnant mid last year during my first year at uni. I can't say it was easy sorry...I suffered with morning sickness, fatigue and dizzy spells and ended up failing second semester due to being absent too often to be able to complete my units successfully! (That's just my experience though - in first semester I had a class with a lady that was almost full term and she did fine!) Anyway, I plan to go back next semester to complete the units I failed last year. My advice, see how you go with the pregnancy and workload and drop a unit or 2 if you feel you are falling behind and struggling with the pregnancy - you'll have a better chance at doing well on fewer units than trying to do them all. Will your uni let you do this? What uni are you at?

[Sonja89]

WOW. Im amazed at how quick it is to start a thread and get replies. Thank you soo much!
I study at LaTrobe, Bundoora. My problem is that because Im an international student there are certain rules with my student visa. I have to be fulltime studying and finish my degree in five years. It is a double degree so it takes five years of fulltime studying. This means that I can't drop units. I will check it out though, maybe there are diffrent rules since Im pregnant.

I think we will work out our relationship. At least I hope so. But he lives in Sydney and he doesnt want to move to melbourne, and the other way around. Im sure we will figure it out tho.. hopefully!

[Me+him+bub]

wouldnt having a baby in australia change your visa status i mean they cant deport you with an austrlian born baby, perhaps look into that, i wouldnt have a clue but it seems like things would change regarding visa status.

[angelaartsstudent]

Hiya

I am study post graduate full time (I'm 22, 7th year on uni...I'm crazy). It is very busy but with really good time management skills I'm sure we will both be fine :-)

I have found that lists work really well - write down what you need to do that day/that week and what normal life things have to fit in with study.

Make sure you eat and sleep well. Make sure your lecturers know (tell them discreetly) that you might get morning sickness in this first trimester. I was very sick during my 1st trimester and my lecturers were very understanding.

If you think you might need an extensions for an assignment - make sure you apply for it in plently of time. There is no harm in applying for an extension just in case and then getting it in on time anyway.

I am happy to discuss study with pregnancy (then study with babies!) with you anytime.

Good luck, and keep yourself happy and healthy.

xx

[Sonja89]

wouldnt having a baby in australia change your visa status i mean they cant deport you with an austrlian born baby, perhaps look into that, i wouldnt have a clue but it seems like things would change regarding visa status.

I will have a look into it, and hoping u are right!! Thank you

And to you (cant remember ur name now) in ur 7th year.. wow.. thats amazing!
Thank you, I will try and write lists. I relly need to omprove my time managing.

Its so great seeing that there are others out there! makes me feel abit less alone thank you guys!

[Mildez]

I had my first baby at 17 whilst studying my HSC then started uni when she was 7weeks old. It was very hard and exhausting but I must say its worth while in the end when your qualified and I found studying easier when my daughter was young. Uni let me take her till she was 3months (so Id find out if your able to take bub to classes with you). As I was a single parent I had assistance with a parenting payment that abled me not to work when I was at uni (I did in my holidays) and the childcare fee's were small as I had 100% rebate as my bill was only about $50 a fortnight. I had a family day care mum so I could sent my daughter to her just for the time I was a uni (sometimes it was only for a 2hr lecture) where as the daycare centres wanted her in at least 5hrs the day she was booked in as they said if she wasn't there the place would be better used by someone else. If you really want to finish your uni degree you will do. It takes dediaction but you will get there and you will have a good eduaction and a beautiful child at the end of it. Good luck. Also family help is great if you can get it. I had none but I have seen friends who have good family support and it made their lives so much easier.

[Mildez]

You will have to find out about the visa. We recently had a couple from somewhere else (don't know what country I forget) and they had a baby in Australia. It did not make there baby an Australian resident, nore entitle them to residency or medicare. They also had to pay the full cost as they had no medicare. Apparently they had to apply to the embassy in their country for a birth certificate when they got back to their country. They were here for work. It might be different if your partner is from Australia but I know from working in maternity that in some cases it doesn't change your visa status. GL with it all.

[cheekyfrog]

Congratulations, Sonja, and sending you well wishes for a happy, trouble free pregnancy.

[tattoo_mama]

Congrats Sonja!

Yes a friend of mine (male) is aussie but his girlfriend is from England and she is abt 30 weeks pregnant, having a baby does not give you any preference for citizenship and unfortunately your baby will not automatically be aussie citizen either even if they are born here.

Also cause you can't get medicare you will have to pay full hospital costs (they are going to a public hossy which is abt $4000 from what they told me).

Not sure abt visas caus I've never gone overseas but she has applied for a spouse visa which if accepted entitles her to medicare and other benefits, not sure if you can 'double up' the visas or not.

I think its VERY important you talk to your partner about religion, if he is very dedicated to his religion it could have a huge effect on both your lives, you need to think about your respective families, living arrangements, what religion you want your baby brought up in??

I wish you the best of luck!