hey sweet!

i have to tell you i had no symptoms of pregnancy with either of my two until about week 6. the only thing that gave the game away for me (as they were both rather a surprise for both me and my ex) was the lack of a period.. i would hazard a guess that your increased heartrate is probably down to stress mostly. i have had quite a fast pulse (with low blood pressure) for the second trimester onward with this one (with my first i terminated, and although i knew it was the right thing for me to do at the time, i felt like i lost part of my soul). you could have already started with your volume increase in your blood so your heart could be working harder but if so that wasn't noticable for me..

and i'm glad your going into this with a positive attitude! thats fantastic! but it can be pretty scary to wait to do the test.. i waited with both of mine.. 5 days i think with both. and i think the scariest bit was telling people lol mostly the father and then my family.. first time around i asked him as i was getting up to have a shower "have you gotten anyone pregnant before?" and he says "no.. why..?" and i'm like "no reason!" and run to the shower. second time i said "i think we need to talk" and he says "that sounds serious", and i say "it is rather" and he says "are you pregnant?" and i'm like "...mmm..."

but yeah. it'll be a challenge but it sounds like you are the kind of woman we need to be procreating in this world! someone strong and clever and grounded. the only thing i would worry about is that you said you weren't sure if he'd want to be involved and it sounds as though you would like it if he was, esp given that you are close friends.. my ex asked me to live with him and raise our son together but not be together ourselves and i said no (because i felt it would just hurt me). so i moved home with my mum for now and he's shacked up with a 21year old who was having a tantrum every time we spoke, and kicked him out when he came to baby's 20week scan. we were friends until about that point, and now just even to hear or speak with him just makes me angry and upset.. so i worry about the situation deteriorating for you too.. although maybe as starting as just friends instead of being partners, maybe it'll be okay.

i hope so. i wish you all the best. let us all know what happens with your maybebaby!

much love!