I do think perception has something to do with it though. I can choose to take someone's comment as being positive in intent, and feel good that they've said it, or I can perceive it as rude or negative and have it ruin my day.
Either way, responding to it as if they meant it positively is a win-win - if it's actually meant positively then I have responded appropriately, but if it's meant negatively then it completely takes the wind out of someone's sails to be replied to as if they were giving you a compliment. If someone says in a derogatory way that you've fallen pregnant again quickly, then replying 'I know, isn't it wonderful, we wanted our kids to be close together in age' gives them no ammunition at all.
OK, some people are just out and out rude and obnoxious, in word, tone and manner. But the majority (even if they could use a good thumping with the tact stick) are just trying to make conversation. To be honest, we'd (we being pregnant women in general) be more peeved if they said nothing at all and totally ignored the pregnancy, which is not that unlikely if they feel they are unable to say anything without potentially offending us.
Totally agree with Suse - just take it in the spirit that it's intended - which I'm sure is positive most of the time.
I'm sure I would be guilty of a, "wow, that's quick" if you were my friend. I mean, you feel obliged to say SOMETHING and somehow a simple "congratulations" never seems enough. It should be, but still.
When I tell people that we're trying for #2, I get all sorts of presumptions because of my age especially because we've been trying for a while. I get people asking me if I think I should adopt (!) or hint at IVF. TBH, I'm not offended at all, they're just thinking out loud and we're all guilty of that from time to time.
Ah yeah it does get annoying doesn't it? There will be 20 months between DS and this one and I've been getting the "oh how close" comments alot. When we found out this one is a girl, we started getting the pigeon pair comments. Heard it once, heard it a thousand times! A lady in a baby store said to me how lovely it was to have the pigeon pair and that we would stop there with one of each. I decided to play and told her we were planning on having six! Her jaw dropped to the floor lol.
I find most people just say these sorts of things just for something to say, to make conversation, etc but yeah it does get tiring hearing it all the time!
I too don't think people mean to be rude, but I also tend to take offence to these kind of comments.
When I told family I was pregnant (with the baby we miscarried before this pregnancy), I got the comment 'yeah I thought you were' from a few people, funny thing is I was only about 4 weeks pregnant, how could they possibly know?! I was 7 DPO on our wedding day and feeling completely well, we found out we were pregnant 3 days later.
I think it is just the first random comment that comes to mind most of the time.
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Her jaw dropped to the floor lol.
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