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Thread: To find out or not to find out

  1. #1
    amy Guest

    Default To find out or not to find out

    I have a wee dilemma about whether or not to find out what sex our baby is, up until recently i have been sure that we would find out but now i am not too sure, what are your opinions on the matter? are many of you finding out what you are having and if so for what reasons? I thought it would be nice to plan things a bit better and may connect me more to my growing baby but then i wonder whether i should wait for the surprise? Any thoughts you may have would be great, thanks ladies


  2. #2

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    We are waiting. Mainly because we want the surprise, but also because they can't tell you with 100% accuracy from an ultrasound, so I would hate to go along believing it was one sex and then discover when it was born that it was something else. Especially if I had bought gender specific clothes.

    We just figured we would get neutral stuff. It's not like we would put a newborn in a frilly dress anyway.

  3. #3

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    I found out with DD and she said she was 90% sure of it, og course, she was right. This time tohugh, i'm not sure either. At first i thought i wouldn't, but now i have no idea. I think i'll walk in there and decide on the spot. I found with DD it was easier to plan a bit better with colours and that though.

  4. #4

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    We never wanted to find out, but when we have another one, I definately want to find out (DH doesn't though) because we already have two girls and will need to do some major room reorganising in our house to accomodate 3 girls. Even though, you are in two minds about it the whole way through your pg whatever you choose.

  5. #5

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    We did not find out for various reasons. I think you will find though what is a valid reason for one person is not a valid reason for another. Here are some of the arguments given to me when I told people I was not finding out and my reason why they did not apply to me:

    You need to know so you can buy things!
    We are planning on a number of children, so I wanted all newborn purchases to be gender neutral.

    How are you going to decorate the nursery?
    We are not having one due to renovating and having bubs in our room. Plus we would prefer to decorate with things that the baby likes, rather than our taste.

    It will help you bond
    I think this is very personal and can only be decided by the parents, for me finding out the sex was not going to change things.

    For me I loved guessing (I was right) Also to me finding out the sex was putting an identity on my baby that may not be right, I really wanted my baby tell me who they were.

    I could go on, but ultimately do what ever suits your family. Whatever you choose to do someone will disagree and sometimes in not a very nice way.

  6. #6

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    I didnt' find out with no 1 and did with no 2. The excitement was the same both times. After all, when you find out no matter when it is, its' still a suprise . both experiences were great, but the down side of finding out No2 was a girl is htat they say they can't be 100% sure so there was always doubt in my mind. It then became quite stressful bonding with her and then wondering what if it's not a girl. I think next time I wouldn't find out.
    It was good for the clothes, but really, as with NO1 I just had neutral clothes and then bought stuff as I went along. xoox

  7. #7

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    We have just been through this very same dilema and didnt decide until the day before my u/s to find out what we were having. That being said Bubs had other ideas and had its legs firmly clamped together so it decided for us that it was going to be a suprise.

    I think it really does come down to personal choice, in a way I am glad now that bubs decided otherwise and we can continue on with our little guessing game that we are having. I think you also have decided whether you are going to find out and if you want to share it with everyone around you or keep it a secret because that can also make a bearing on the decision.

  8. #8

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    We want to find out.. myself.. mostly because im impatient and cant wait 40 weeks!! but also will be able to buy blue or pink stuff. I know its never 100% accurate so ill make sure i keep the receipts, but rather than just buying all white and yellow stuff.. but its personal opinion

  9. #9
    amy Guest

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    Thank you ladies all for your different points of view, i guess it is something that my DH and i will just have to sort out ourselves, i am very much 50/50 as to whether we wil find out or not.

    thanks again.

  10. #10
    DoubleK Guest

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    We found out the sex of our baby, and im thrilled its a girl! (i would have been just as happy if it were a boy) the sonographer said its Definitely a girl.. i just hope she is right, she didnt give us a % as she was positive.

    I have been buying lots of pink, but also yellow and green, incase future babies are boys!

    a lot of people say it spoils the surprise, but i see it as we got our surprise at 20 weeks instead of at the birth!

  11. #11
    mooshie Guest

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    with my first two i didn't find out but i had the feeling of first being a girl and second being a boy and i was right, actually we didn't find out the sex until around 10mins after born.

    with my 3rd i HAD to find out, i needed to prepare myself emotionally and physically, i am thankful i found out because i got through alot of issues and had counselling before my dd was born, however i do remember saying hmmm now i know i don't really want to know iykwim - oh and my dh didn't want to know (which he regrets now as he has been going through a few issues) so me, my mum, my ds (he was sooo good at keeping secret lol) and bb as well.

    i always said if i was lucky enough to do it all again i would definately not find out, but that is just my personal opinion of course

    good luck in what you decide

  12. #12

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    Michelle
    I will be finding out for similar reasons to you - to be emotionally prepared though I won't be telling everyone the real reason.

    For practical reasons we want to be prepared as well - as not anticipating any further additions.

  13. #13

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    We are not finding out with ths one, But im thinking im probably going to want to know with the next one. One thing that made me strongly against finding out what peanut is, My mum accompanied me to one of my clinic visits and as we were leaving the hospital my mum stopped for a cigarette, There was a Lady and a man sitting at the bus stop talking and i heard her say to him `So what are they gunna call HIM now? and the man said well they deffinately cant call him Rochelle now can they.` From the conversation i heard the parents were expecting a girl and had a boy and both were very dissapointed. My mum said to me `see thats why i didnt find out with you or your sisters its never 100%.` So it kinda really put me off finding out.

    My DF wants to know but i have told him he will have to wait and after every u/s he asks if we could see a doodle lol i say no and we couldnt see a vagina either.

    The problem is as the sonographer told me is that sometimes a girl can look like a boy as they get very swollen in that area and its hard to differentiate. Thankfully my lil Peanut has had thier legs crossed every time we have had an U/S done so its hiding everything.
    Have a great day
    Mel

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