Keep talking - whether it's trying to get through to your parents or your FIL (maybe not your mil ...) or people here, if there's no one else IRL.

I'm not sure if there's any over-the-phone counselling services available? Maybe they could be helpful, and mor accessible?

But you need something to start you on a path to feeling safer and more confident about Beez's arrival.

Talking can be hard, finding the right outlet can be hard, but I have found that it really does help.

Do you have any hobbies or anything you can use to distract yourself also, when those thoughts start spiralling out of control? Whether it's drawing or writing or doing a sudoku - anything which uses all your mind to do something else - to force yourself to stop thinking catastrophically?