First OB appointment, what to remember?

[peanutter]

Keep talking - whether it's trying to get through to your parents or your FIL (maybe not your mil ...) or people here, if there's no one else IRL.

I'm not sure if there's any over-the-phone counselling services available? Maybe they could be helpful, and mor accessible?

But you need something to start you on a path to feeling safer and more confident about Beez's arrival.

Talking can be hard, finding the right outlet can be hard, but I have found that it really does help.

Do you have any hobbies or anything you can use to distract yourself also, when those thoughts start spiralling out of control? Whether it's drawing or writing or doing a sudoku - anything which uses all your mind to do something else - to force yourself to stop thinking catastrophically?

[Charlotte91]

I started a birth plan, but unfortunately it's on the laptop that is broken and we haven't sent it away yet. (long story, got dropped, power button fell off, it's a Dell so can only be fixed in Sydney) and I've forgotten what I wrote. Maybe I could start another birth plan? I even put on there what happens in an emergency c/s took place.

I haven't seen my OB yet, we got the very last appointment of the day so I guess if we talk a while we won't make him late. His office isn't anywhere near the hospital so that's great. I've been into the hospital a few times since but haven't been into maternity. They hated me there when I was pregnant with DD. I'd turn up or ring and they'd just tell me "We can't do anything for you here with your baby like that. Just go to Melbourne." That hurt. "with you baby like that". What? Sick? Got her guts out?

I haven't really talked to DH. He's going through so much lately with his mother and with his own counselling sessions. I can't join in on that because work is paying for him to go.
I've written to counsellors but no-one does over the phone. I've written to heaps of m/w and doulas and barely heard back from anyone. No-one is willing to travel past Bendigo or Ballarat. Both 3 hours away.

I don't want to keep dwelling on DD's pregnancy and birth and all the trauma that followed but I can't stop thinking about it. I'm worried that people will just think I'm sooking and I need to move on. It's another reason why we aren't telling anyone til after our morphology scan.

[sloane]

re-the birth plan, you could definitely do another one - if you want something to help you get started again you could try the maternity coalition website or the MAMA (midwives & mothers) website.

i know it's a way to travel but the MAMA centre also run women's circles on the last sunday of each month where you can share you birth story with other mums & midwives. they're in kensington i think - maybe worth it if you're ever in melb on a weekend?

and if people think you need to move on - i think you'd agree with them that you want to get past it but it's a matter of having the tools & support to move on and counselling/support etc is how you can do that. it's silly of them if they think it's just a matter of saying 'right, today i'm moving on'.

i'm sorry there aren't more resources for you where you are, that really sucks

[Charlotte91]

I'm going to do another birth plan. I don't feel strong enough to do it today. I honestly just want to cry but the tears won't come. DD is coming down with a cold and is teething so she's extremely clingy. She's due to wake up any minute now.
I'll keep the women's circles thingy in mind, but we rarely go to Melbourne. Only if DD has appointments at the Royal Children's. And she's only got 1 this year.

I tried to talk my mother about how I'd prefer to birth at home and she just told me I was stupid because of the risk of my c/s scar rupturing is too high and I've never given birth before so I won't know what i'm doing.
And, in reality, we're trying to buy a house. So I can't homebirth and buy a house. We just don't have the money.

My dream birth is waterbirth. I know I won't get it because of having a c/s 13 months ago.
The stubborn part of me thinks "Stuff all of you! If our mate moves to town I'll just labour there for as long as possible! And, oh dear, no time to get to the hospital!" And then Beez is born at our mate's place.