wow, noone told me that pregnancy is this much trouble!! And at only 5-6 weeks along!!!
My best friend Kristy is no longer talking to me because i told her that i didn't want her to be a godmother....
Yes, i know i told her last year that if i ever had a baby, she would be godmother. and yes, i understand that now revoking that, is a tiny bit mean.
But still....
My DP and i have been talking about it and we decided that we wanted to keep godparents in the family, and that we wanted them to have children of their own already.
So DP's cousin Aaron and his gorgeous wife Sarah are a natural choice for us. They have three of the most beautiful little kids (Jayden- 4, Haylie- 2 and Jaxon- 9months) and their amazing parents.
But now, Kristy isn't happy with me. Back then, yes, she was my choice, but now, when i sit there and really think about who i would trust leaving my child to if anything happened to me and DP, i don't think i would be able to trust anyone. Things that people did years ago, now bother me, i'm thinking, "oh god, do i really want my son or daughter to go to some one who used to go out and get drunk all night??" (ok ok ok, i've had my share of drunken nights)
Kristy is an amazing woman, but there is always some kind of problem that she has. And i really just don't feel comfortable with leaving bub to her.
So now my best friend has decided that she no longer wants to talk to me. I understand her pride must be bruised. But i'm not going to give that responsibility to someone i don't think is right for the job. As my wise superwoman mother said, picking godparents isn't about who your best friend is at the time, it's not a popularity contest, it's who you think will do the best job at raising your child should anything happen to you. I agree...
Have you thought about the possibility of having 2 godmother's... or 2 full sets of godparents?? I am a joint godmother to my bf's little boy, the other is his aunty. To be honest, these days it's all a little different and the whole thing is not really what it used to be. The godparents don't actually necessarily get the child/ren. That should actually be covered in your will. Anyway, just a thought
My sister is expecting she will be godmother and somehow thinks that she deserves to be...I dont know why ewhen she has been such a ***** lately to me in regards to certain things!
I have had family for both my girls and then had a friend for each as well. Not any of the 6 godparents of my two girls would get them if something happened to us. So for me it was purely a gesture to say that they are important people in our lives. I would think about letting your friend be a third godparent, even if only you did promise her. It may not be her pride that is hurt, maybe she was looking forward to it, and genuinly feels let down? oxo
PS saying all that, with DD1 I no longer speak to or have any contact with my friend who is a godparent. I am fine with that, as my sister and brother are still her godparents. It means nothing now that my friend isn't invovled, no big deal. But at the time it was an important gesture to her.
PS my understanding of the godparent is to be a spiritual guide in the child's life if they so choose. I have to say though, in my experience with my own godparents, and my childrens, this isn't really something that is practiced! So for me it is more a symbol of someone special to my children. And I know many people who have no contact with their godparents, just because that's the way it's turned out.
Personally i really don't want to have multiple godparents for my bub. I really think that my friends should understand how much they mean to me and shouldn't need a gesture.
My DP and i strongly believe that whoever the godparents are, get the kids if we die. thats the way we've both been raised.
I've explained to my friend how i feel about the situation, and that i am sorry, but i'm not going to make her a godmother simply because i want her to be happy.
ALIBABY- as i'm the oldest of five, and the next youngest after me is my sister Lulu who is only 16, i had already explained to her about the godparent thing, and she didn't really seem to care that much, but then, thats Lulu. So i guess i'm lucky.
But i definately can't stand how people assume that their going to be a godparent, another couple of my girlfriends have done the same. But their alot easier than Kristy, and they were both fine with our choice of doing it with family members. With no problems whatsoever.
WebbMeg- I'm sure she is hurt and was looking forward to it, but i have apologised and tried my best to make amends. But my friend Kristy is a bit of a handfull, and has taken it really badly, i do feel terrible about it, but i'm not going to change my decision simply because she's angry.
I've been trying to stop being so whipped, ahhahaha
I can see how she is a little offended if you have a problem that she used to go out and get drunk, sheesh!
I'm 35 and I still have a drink (since I'm not dead), in fact I'm going out this weekend and I dare say I will get a little drunk. Thats not irresponsible. I've also crowd surfed, swum topless at the beach, rode backwards on a motorbike and stole a packet of bubblegum when I was 12.
None of this makes me incapable of being an excellent parent, or take care of my best friends daughter should anything happen to her. You poor friend is a bit hurt because now there is a actual baby, she isn't good enough (or responsible enough). Don't hack on her because she is hurt, try to be a little more understanding?
lulu- don't get me wrong, it's not that she goes out and gets drunk, i was until i found out i was pregnant. thats got nothing to do with it. i was simply using it as an example about how, no that i actually am pregnant, things have changed i guess.
I don't want to make her a godmother because i don't think i could trust her judgment, decision making and to take care of my child properly. Plus things with our friendship have soured in the past few months, and i really don't see our friendship lasting much longer regardless of whether i was pregnant or not.
I can understand why she is hurt, and as i said, i have tried to talk to her about it.
But really, at the point her and i are at at the moment, i'm not going to make her godmother simply because i want to make her happy in sight of an ailling friendship.
p.s. your daughter bella looks gorgeous!!! i'm in love with her dress!!!!
Godparents.....
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