12

thread: How early did you tell people???

  1. #19
    Registered User

    Oct 2007
    ★ nor here nor there ★
    4,134

    We told our family on Christmas day was 6.5 weeks, then we told a couplf of friends at 9-10 weeks, but didn't make it "public" until after my 12 weeks scan, we didn't wait for the BT results we were really happy with the scan results and they were good enough for us.

    We did however make sure that we told our closest friends personally, before I posted on my Facebook Site!!

    Congrats and Good Luck

  2. #20
    Registered User

    Dec 2007
    Werribee, Vic
    618

    Congratulations

    We told a couple of close friends the day we tested as we were too excited and just HAD to tell someone. Family found out at 5 weeks as they were all gathered for DHs 30th birthday and was the perfect time. The rest of our close friends were told at 6 weeks (again at a party). The rest such as work etc, we will tell after 12 weeks.

    We couldn't wait as both of us are terrible at keeping such exciting news as this.
    Last edited by kylieb77; April 4th, 2008 at 12:40 PM.

  3. #21
    Registered User

    Jan 2008
    Adelaide
    186

    I've told a couple of friends; one who lives in WA and is an ex-colleague, and one who's a forum friend, neither of them will tell anyone else. We've shared our TTC journeys with each other.

    DH doesn't want anyone to know until after the 11w bloods and 12w scan, including family. I haven't told him that I've shared the news with the above girls.

    There are people who found out we were TTC who have been asking if I have any news, but because DH is so adamant that we keep it secret I've had to tell them that we'll be waiting until 12w to share the news. I feel a bit bad about that, but I also actually quite like having this secret between DH and myself only.

    I've had a few moments when I've just wanted to call my mum or sister and tell them, but I still feel quiet anxious that it might not stick, and if it doesn't I'd rather tell them about a miscarriage without them having got excited beforehand about the pregnancy.

  4. #22
    nelle2503 Guest

    We told our parents at 9 weeks only cause we were having dinner with my mum (she lives 6 hours away) and we figured she would guess as I wasn't drinking alcohol and my stomach was noticeably protruding whereas normally it is flat.

    We won't be telling the rest of the family, friends or work until after our scan which is at 12w4days. We had a close friend tell everyone at 8 weeks and then she miscarried. I am a very private person when it comes to sharing my feelings so would rather our friends didn't know if the pregnancy doesn't progress.

  5. #23
    Registered User
    Add belfie on Facebook

    Oct 2007
    Melbourne
    2,362

    First time around we told quite a few friends & both families quite early - we were so excited - but then m/ced at ~10.5 weeks. Having the support was invaluable. Having a sister who's also had 3 m/c's quite some years ago, I knew I would feel really excluded if she hadn't told me then had to go through a m/c on her own. Our in-laws said afterwards "oh, well you won't tell anyone next time will you!". To which we both said, yes we will! To us, it was very important that people understood what we were going through, and also that people actually understand both how common and how painful m/c's can be! So many people brush it off with a comment on how common m/c's are, without realising that it can accidentally sound like they are trivialising it.

    This time we told my family straight away, and some good friends that were great support last time. I have two of the most wonderful sisters in the world who I think sweated through every day of first trimester as much as I did! We told the in-laws much later (found out later MIL wished she didn't know till 12 weeks!). My work also knew from quite early, as they'd known about the m/c, and one of my team-members is PG also. Turned to be a very good thing, as we had a very tricky first tri, and I had to work from home for 3 weeks f/t and then another 3 weeks p/t! I wonder if I hadn't had that support from work whether this PG would have made it.

  6. #24
    Pumpkin's mummy Guest

    I know how you feel with your mother I told mum and all she said was why do you want to do that when your other two have nearly moved out (not likely only fifteen and 13). Only told parents and kids straight away at 5 weeks and then everybody else today.

  7. #25
    Registered User

    Mar 2008
    Canberra, ACT
    158

    Hi there, see a lot of other posts here but wanted to add my bit

    I made a decision to tell as early as possible and also to tell if we miscarry. I have a few younger women in my family and have found the lack of reality in conception and birth frustrating. It was only after struggling to conceive and mentioning it that my MIL shared her 18mth struggle with me. Not may people are strong enough to face these challanges BUT so many of us do.

    So I told my immediate family (parents and siblings) the day of the home BFP and gave them the all clear to tell the rest of the world once the Dr confirmed it.

    I choose to embrace and celebrate each day I have with this little soul, if the worst happens then I will deal with that as best I can. So many women on this site have had to face multiple m/c and just as they know they did nothing to deserve it I know that I'm not so damn special that it can't happen to me.

    If it wasn't for thoes strong women who openly discuss the difficulties of conception/fertility and birth I wouldn't be able to go into this journey with open eyes.

    If I loose this baby and no one knows it wont hurt any less, but I may have stoped someone from knowing when I need them most - and they might be the one who gets through.

    It is your choice who to tell and when, first time through the loop you have no reason to expect a m/c so the waiting might just drive you nuts.

    Have a happy and healhy pregnancy.

    PS admitedly I am the type of person that when faced with a skelliton in the closet tend to drag him out and make him face the light.

  8. #26
    Registered User

    Jul 2005
    Cronulla
    1,030

    MIT - Great attitude - I tend to agree with you in regards to sharing the happy times and fingers crossed Never having to go through the sad times but to know that your support network is there for you regardless - Good Luck

  9. #27
    Registered User

    Jan 2008
    Adelaide
    186

    Well, having said we're not telling anyone including family until 12w, DH and I have decided to tell his parents. They're going overseas on Sunday for 10 weeks, so we thought it would be better to tell them in person before they go. I'm really looking forward to sharing the news with them.

  10. #28
    gipesa85 Guest

    I'm now 6 1/2 weeks and DH and I have told my parents, my brothers & sister & SIL, few close friends & my work.... Will tell his side of the family at the end of april.... they will have their greek easter and they will all be together....

    Hi Treetops... didn't realise you were here too....

  11. #29
    Registered User

    Mar 2005
    Sydney, NSW
    3,352

    I told with DD1 at about 4 weeks and DD2 before 4 weeks (10 days after conception). This time Im not even pregnant and people know we're going to try soon!
    I have had some very close friends lose babys at birth which is just tragic, so like MIT I will tell people if we miscarry, so I have no problem telling them when Im pregnant.
    ALso with DD2 we found out at the 20 week scan that she had some soft markers. So I was worried the whole pregnancy, and the theory of "you're safe after 12 weeks" did go out the window for me. Im not saying that to worry people, but I personally don't think there's an optimal time to tell people. It's whenever you feel comfortable.
    I think also if you're prone to sickness, it's easier to tell people, and explain why you're soooo tired/sick! (if they haven't guessed)!!! xoxoxo
    PS congratulations!!!!!!!!!

  12. #30
    Registered User

    Jan 2008
    Adelaide
    186

    Hi Treetops... didn't realise you were here too....
    More here than there. Been a bit busy

    I told my boss about my pregnancy yesterday. Initially DH wanted me to wait until 12w, but on Tuesday I went to lunch and never came back because I had to rush to the Womens and Childrens Hospital with bleeding. I'm happy he knows now, not just because of the follow-up I have next week, and the 11w and 12w appointments I have, but he has also offered to be supportive in case I'm sick/tired.

  13. #31
    Registered User

    Feb 2008
    Gold Coast, QLD
    1,563

    We told all our friends in an email the other day, straight after our 13 week ultrasound. It was great fun to get all the responses back and forth from friends. We spent half a day just responding to well wishes.

  14. #32
    Registered User
    Add fionas on Facebook

    Apr 2007
    Recently treechanged to Woodend, VIC
    3,473

    I told my boss at about 8 weeks because I was having a bit of morning sickness, being late for work, running out of excuses and sick of feeling like a slacker.

    I waited until 20 weeks until I told friends, family and other workmates. I loved it being a secret!

  15. #33
    Registered User

    Apr 2008
    Melbourne
    6,745

    I was overseas when I found out I was pregnant so I rang my best friend in Melbourne and she booked me in to the OB and the Hospital for me. When we got home we told DP's best friend and our parents - we were so excited.

    I told my boss at 6 weeks as she needed to know in case anything went wrong (she ended up getting pregnant too and was 6 weeks behind me so it was great that we could support each other).

    All other friends and work colleagues were told after the 12 week scan.

  16. #34
    Registered User

    Apr 2008
    96

    the first time we waited about 6-7 weeks, second time about 5 weeks. even then it was hard for us to keep a secret for that long!

12

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