I have just found out this morn that I am pregnant with our second child. We always decided to wait until our first was 9months old before trying again, which is fine, problem is, I didn't think it would happen so fast!!! I know that is totally the wrong attitude to plan a family around, but I guess I was thinking "Yeh right, look how long it took the first time..." We have literally had sex maybe 6 times in the last month (TMI...sorry), am I just overly fertile???!!!
I am happy (although I don't think it's really sunk in yet), but my initial reaction was "I am SO not ready for that first month home after the baby is born...again". The other thing is that DH is in the army and away A LOT, and I know for a fact that he may be away round about the time the bub is born. I have a bro and sis in Syd, but the rest of the fam (including my beloved mother) are in Brisvegas. I don't think I could do it if he wasn't here and I didn't even have my mother to help either!
Hence I am feeling a little trapped albeit excited that the adventure is starting again...this time with a toddler in tow...
Can anyone comiserate? Anyone else feel this way when they conceived their subsequent bundles of joy???
HELP! I need some wholesome, motherly advice...be gentle!
OK well yes a similar thing happened to me. It took 12 mths TTC Mason and we fell PG with Angus first go without a condom and I tested +ve the day after Masons first birthday. I never expected to conceive first go and I was happy, excited and totally horrorfied at the same time.
I had plenty of how am I going to cope moments but I managed just fine. TBH for me it was easier with a 21 month age gap than a 3 year age gap which I have between Angus and Caleb. Mason was quite content to play with his trains or just mess about while I was with Angus. I would also read him a story while I b/f if he wanted it. Two in nappies also wasn't that big of a deal either. At least you won't have to worry about toilet training regression!
Hopefully Nina will be having day naps still when bub comes along so that gives you either nice one on one bonding time with bub or if you can get bub to sleep at the same time go off and have a nap yourself.
I can only imagine how hard it would be having your partner going away with the army.
Do you have a group of friends or wives of other soldiers that could help you while he's away? I know that the guys stick together and assume it's the same for their partners as well. My brother is ex army and is still close with a big group that are like a second family to him.
Thanks Sammi,
Yes I definitely have 'army wife friends', but they all have kids of their own too, so asking for help is not always possible. I'm sure it will be OK, it still has to sink in so I can properly prepare myself!!!
Julesy, I know exactly how you feel! We were TTC from right after our son was born as we have fertility problems. It took 6mths and a round of fertility medication to conceive this baby. I was ok at first but about 2 weeks ago I had a huge panic attack about having another baby so soon! My husband is also in the Army (he on training course so we live in Albury Wodonga) and he has exactly ZERO time to spend with us or to give me a hand, Im due to give birth at the end of his christmas holidays too Im worrying about how I will cope with no family or friends close by to help me and have considered moving back to Sydney just after the baby is born so I can have the support I need. Its all completely normal but it doesnt help having the added stress of being military spouses to add to the worry and stress of planning everything.
My two are 19 months apart (would have been 20 but Tom arrived early!). Similar to Sammi, I got the BFP the day before Jack's first birthday. We were TTC too, but didn't expect it so soon.
I too think there are advantages to having them so close - you are already doing nappies etc, and they get along so well (well mine do anyway). And yes, Jack still has naps and Tom has two naps a day, most days they sleep at the same time for about 2 hours so I get things done or some rest.
I won't kid you, I did find the first few weeks tough, mostly as Tom was very unsettled and also his unexpectedly early arrival threw all our plans out the window and DH ended up having to take the week off while I was in hossy and then go back my first day home. But after the first 5 or 6 weeks, it was busy, but not too bad. In some ways it's probably harder now, as they are both on the go and really active. But still, they will happily play together for quite a while at a time, and most days sleep at the same time, so it is definitey easier than I was expecting.
I think you will be fine, give yourself time to get over the shock and I bet as soon as you see bub on the u/s you'll be ecstatic!
AnnaT - will def keep in contact with you!!! Us army wives need to stick together!
I think it will gradually sink in and I'll get excited. I'm still feeling a bit ambivent about it all...first pregnance I was a naze about what I should and shouldn't do...this time I've already had two cups of coffee!!!!!!!!!
Woah Nelly...I'm in for a long pregnance if I don't get excited soon...
Jules, I have to admit I was happy about my 2nd pg. But TBH I really didn't enjoy it much - I was too tired and sick, it's definitely harder being pg with a toddler - so I definitely had moments where I wondered what I was thinking having another. But then he arrived and now I have a beautiful baby boy (well, not so much of a baby now) and I wouldn't change a thing. It will work out for you sweetie, just give yourself time.
Hey Julesy, I can totally relate to your feelings, my dh is in the navy and with my 2 children he was on deployment fo part or most of their lives, I remember with my dd he left when I was still in hospital! Alysha was just 4 days old. I found the first trimester very hard with a toddler and m/s and dh away, you feel like your alone, It is a huge test and I totally understand your axiety. I think we put alot of pressure on ourselves too by not asking for help. I think the key thing for deffence families is planning and having contingency plans and back up family. Easier said than done I know. If dh is away for the birth you could concider going to Brissy and staying with your mum or you can get finding through the deffence to pay for your mum to fly down to you that's what I did with my dd, my mum was there for the first 6 weeks then I had my MIL for a month (probably not a good idea lol) I wont lie it was hard and I didn't have alot of friends to rely on. I wish I had more helpful advise for you but I can only offer my ((hugs)) and tell you it's not forever, it get's easier really it does!!
Julesy, congratulations and I hope it all goes really well for you
I've been thinking about this and when to possibly start to try or to leave it for a while or to just not have another at all. I'm afraid of "missing" this early time with my little man if I was pg and also about how to deal with a little one and m/s at the same time. How did you girls do all this??
Sammi, I can see how Mason was happy to jump up for a story etc cos that's a pretty good age for them entertaining themselves and cuddling up for a story while BF.
trapped? TMI warning
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Im worrying about how I will cope with no family or friends close by to help me and have considered moving back to Sydney just after the baby is born so I can have the support I need. Its all completely normal but it doesnt help having the added stress of being military spouses to add to the worry and stress of planning everything.
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