Pregnant at 20 and fiancé is unsure about keeping the baby ?

[Phteven]

Congratulations.
You will cope financially. Things might be a bit tight sometimes but that is the reality for most Australian families. The funny thing about income is that your expenses seem to grow with it so no matter what your income a baby will make you reassess the way you spend your money.

Little babies are really quite cheap. Breast milk is free, they can sleep in your bed and ebay is overstocked with second-hand baby goods. It's when they grow up that they start to cost more and by then your DF will probably have had a pay raise and you will be able to get back into the workforce if you need to.

[Miss.M]

I think we will cope financially and even though both of our parents won't accept the pregnancy at the beggining I know that they will warm up to the idea and help is out if we need it. Maby not so much my fiancée mum cause she has already told her son that if we keep it he's stupid for wanting to do so
I just don't want to put pressure on his family wen the baby is born cause we live under there roof.
... So I think he changed his mind about keeping it cause his mum got to his head. He will be 20 wen the baby is born and I will have turned 21 the month before I think we.ll cope just have to make the fiancée see that we will .. Thank u for ur advice I agree with you about everything Inc eBay love finding bargains on there! Lol

[nothing2lose]

Hi MissM

Welcome to Belly Belly!

I think you have had some good advice from the previous posters. Can I just add one thing though....The choice is absolutely yours and yours only. However, I think you need to take into consideration that if your fiance is not 100% sure you have to be prepared to take on raising the child by yourself if it comes to that.

Of course we all want things to turn out perfectly but the reality is, if your relationship falters under the stress of raising a child (which it can) it is almost definitely going to be you left holding the baby (literally!)

Not saying it wont work out for you, but having a baby/child is hard. Having one with someone who is not 100% committed to the idea is much, much harder.

All the best in your decision. I really hope it all works out well for you.

Take care x

[Jellybean29]

Dear Miss.M,
I found out I was pregnant 6 months into our marriage and hubby and I didn't know how we'd work things financially! We just built a house and also have a personal loan to pay for the wedding. But don't worry, you'll make it work, and you only have to have worked 8hrs a week for 12 months to get paid parental leave, so you may qualify for that. Otherwise you are definitely eligible for baby bonus. Plus there is also Family Tax benefit A and B, childcare rebates etc.
My friend has bought all her nursery furniture stuff, capsules, prams etc. on ebay and gumtree classifieds and spent less than $500 all up, so its very possible to get all the necessaries without spending a fortune.
You WILL make it work financially, all our family is interstate as well, but i'm now on unpaid maternity leave so we are only on the one income and we are working it.
I was panicked at first, but trust me, these things work out!
ETA: My parents said on our wedding day, no grandkids for 5 years etc etc, but now they are sooo excited and can't wait. so don't worry about the parents, trust me they come around
xxoooxox

[Miss.M]

THank u all so much for ur advice...
Yes I have considered the thought that I may end up raising this baby by myself but I'd prefer to do it that way then have to give it up for adoption I wouldn't even consider gettng rid of it...
My mother in law knows of my news cause she kInda guessed it. ? And she would prefer me to get rid of it and have nice things but u can still have nice things and care for a baby well that's what I think anyway. But in the end the decision comes down to me and how I'd feel at the end of the day. True or not?

[nothing2lose]

That's absolutely true Miss.M. Only YOU can make the decision because YOU will have to live with it either way for the rest of your life.

Dont let ANYONE pressure you into doing anything you dont want to do.

[MummyOfTerrors]

i was only 20 when i first fell pregnant with our first
we were living at our own parents
and had high debt >$55thou
we managed we are now expecting our 3rd and have a morgage
DH wanted to run scared aswell due to high debt but once he realised it possible he came round
and i havent worked since i wa pregnant with our frist

[Jellybean29]

THank u all so much for ur advice...
Yes I have considered the thought that I may end up raising this baby by myself but I'd prefer to do it that way then have to give it up for adoption I wouldn't even consider gettng rid of it...
My mother in law knows of my news cause she kInda guessed it. ? And she would prefer me to get rid of it and have nice things but u can still have nice things and care for a baby well that's what I think anyway. But in the end the decision comes down to me and how I'd feel at the end of the day. True or not?

Nice things don't give you newborn cuddles, and burps and smiles and a lifetime of joy as you watch them learn and play and grow. IMO a baby is better than any 'nice things' money can buy

[willow5]

Congratulations.
You will cope financially. Things might be a bit tight sometimes but that is the reality for most Australian families. The funny thing about income is that your expenses seem to grow with it so no matter what your income a baby will make you reassess the way you spend your money.

Little babies are really quite cheap. Breast milk is free, they can sleep in your bed and ebay is overstocked with second-hand baby goods. It's when they grow up that they start to cost more and by then your DF will probably have had a pay raise and you will be able to get back into the workforce if you need to.

Completely agree!