thread: Very unsupportive sister

  1. #1
    Registered User

    Apr 2009
    Cowra, NSW
    409

    Very unsupportive sister

    I am 22 and am pregnant to the man of my dreams.
    To me that was the greatest news of my life.
    My brothers congratulated me and my partner, and wished us all the best.
    One of my sisters congratulated me and has been so supportive.
    As for the other two, they need to pull their heads out of their bums and grow up.

    Not only did they flip out when i told them I was pregnant, they ignored me and gave me no congratulations or best wishes.
    The completely stopped talking to me, and started rumours through my family and to my parents.

    They started gossip, and said I was undeserving of having children, and that they hate my partner, whom ive been with for a year and they used to love him.
    They sent me hurtful messages, telling me they feel sorry for the baby when its born.

    They then riduculed me and told me I was lazy for resigning from my job (as I was in bad pain from back aches so I had to resign)

    When I confronted them about why they were being childish and acting like idiots, they turned around and told me I was the immature one and they told me to f#ck off (in those words)

    This is very sad, considering that these 2 sisters are aged 27 and 48!!!

    It saddens me that they can act like this, and not enjoy the experience with me,...instead they lower my self esteem to a point where I feel bad for having children.

    on top of this, my brother in law (my 27 year old sisters husband) wont talk to me or look me in the eye, as he is jelous that I am having kids before he has.
    But my sister (his wife) doesnt want kids, and apparently thats my fault, apparently Im expected to wait around for them to start their family first.

    All i can say to them is that they are being very unsupportive, they need to step up and be the aunties their meant to be.
    I really dont care anymore, I have my partners family who have been so supportive, so helpful, so much nicer to me than my own family, and this saddens me.

    My mum was a bit suprised when i told her i was pregnant, but her and my dad have been great since.
    Yet my 48 year old sister has continually sent me rude abusive messages, telling me that my parents are 'so disapointed in me'.

    Im not sure what there problems are, but I just hope they get over it soon, because i really want them there to be a part of my babies' life

  2. #2
    Registered User

    May 2007
    Home
    2,050

    First time mummy what a horrible time you're having

    This is suppose to be the best time of your life and the people who should be closest to you are acting like children!

    Try to ignore their antics, you've got a baby baking in the oven and don't need that stress. I'm sure they'll warm up to the idea of having a beautiful new family member, once bub is out they'll probably spoil her/him rotten!

    Try not to let it get you down. I was 22 when i fell pregnant with DD, and it has been the BEST thing that has ever happened to me. My family were a bit shocked at first, but it didn't take long and they were ridiculously excited!
    good luck!!
    wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy!

  3. #3
    Registered User
    Add ~Serenity~ on Facebook

    Dec 2008
    Perth
    2,030

    Maybe your sisters are jealous of you because your pregnant, either way i would just ignore them and maybe talk to your parents about the msgs they are sending you and tell them they shouldnt feel sorry for the baby coz they will be loved they should feel sorry for themselves for acting so pitiful and being such a bad family...

    i learnt a long time ago not to do things because of how other ppl feel about it

  4. #4
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Feb 2006
    South Eastern Suburbs, Vic
    6,054

    Far out! Do your parents know your sisters are being so difficult? That must be tough. I think here, you just have to decide that you're going to act with integrity and maturity, having nothing to regret, and then after time (and the waiting will be tough) people will realise who has been well behaved.

    It will take a lot of biting your tongue and setting a good example though - I don't envy you. But you will need to practice that for your kids anyway, as they watch how you react to your sisters' bad behavior.

    (By the way, I had my first bub at 22, as have many many others and it's a fun age to have kids. )

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Mar 2007
    Paradise
    4,473

    The only thing I can think of as an explaination for that behaviour is jealousy, but even then it is no excuse. If they are jealous then they need to give you a reason for it, rather than just treating you like ****!! Do continue to be the more mature woman hun, you have done nothing wrong, and we are all very happy for you

    FWIW - I had my first just after I turned 20 and I am now 23 and due to have my 3rd in June. And I have been in a stable commited relationship with my DH since we were 16. Age has nothing to do with maturity and readiness. You chose to grow up, growing up is optional, growing older is mandatory.

  6. #6
    Registered User

    Oct 2008
    In a Nice Safe Space
    1,002

    I am so sorry that this is happening to you. When I first read the post I imagined that these sisters must be in their teens but the fact that they are 27 and 48 is unbelievable! Were you close to your Sisters prior to them finding out you were pregnant? I just can't see why they would have a reaction like that. I agree with some of the others that now is the time for you to focus on you and your baby. It will be hard but you just have to block these Sisters out of your life for the moment. I would however speak to your Mum and Dad and reasure them of how happy you are and how much you and your DP are looking forward to this Bubs arrival and tell your parents not to get sucked into anything they hear from your Sisters. I hope that everything works out for you.

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Oct 2008
    269

    Don't lower yourself to the way others are treating you. You are now going to be a Mum and need to take care of the baby. If you stay the mature one and just ignore their behavior then they will soon cut out the childish behavior and no doubt come to you when they have settled down and all will be fine. I agree that age has nothing to do with maturity alot of the time, some women at the age of 22 act as though they are 30 but others still act like they are 16. You act and live they way you chose to.

    Your sisters sound like they are only 16

    Ignore it, move on and keep yourself well and things should come good. In the end they are family and they will soon come around and be happy for you.

  8. #8
    Registered User

    Nov 2008
    on the verge of greatness!
    1,301

    do you really want your little bubs around people like that anyway? do you want to be around people like that??? sounds like they are jealous to me.

    i would cut them off straight away, dob on them (without whingeing) to your parents and explain the situation and get on wtih your wonderful life. the evil sisters can go and stew among themselves... and remember... karma, it'll get em in the end.

    you can only control what you do and i wouldn't waste my energy on those two.

    hugs for you. hope you find some peace in the situation.

  9. #9
    Registered User

    Feb 2009
    2,031

    You are already having one baby. You don't need to be worried about another two. I'd say cut them off. If anyone says anything about why you arent talking to them just show them the messages and ask them if they blame you for ignoring their childish and petty drivel.

  10. #10
    Registered User

    Apr 2009
    Cowra, NSW
    409

    awww.
    thankyou so much for your support.
    I feel like your more sisters to me that my own sisters!
    I was very close to them prior to falling pregnant.
    But we werent 'heaps close'
    My older sister (the 48 year old) got really close to my other sister (the 27 year old) when my sisters moved closer to each other.
    Now they get together and have their little gossip sessions, and I hardly saw them.

    Now I dont even get a courtosy call or a letter.
    The only thing i get from them (mainly the 48 year old), rude and nasty messages.

    I was stressing a lot over it, but now have realised its all about me, my partner and our baby.

    Bugger what they think, im sure they will grow up eventually and realise their missing out on their niece/nephews life.

    thanks again everyone, your kind words has really put me to ease, and stop me stressing.

  11. #11
    Registered User

    Jun 2007
    Melbourne, ready to meet peeps IRL
    2,221

    Like the other's have said sound like they might be jelous... does your 48 yr old sister have any kids? and do you really know for sure that your 27 yr old sister hasnt tried to have a baby but cant... sometimes we keep the most importain stuff to ourselves then it comes out as been jelous...

    either way they dont have the right to put you down... its your choice to have children now and not later... ( I too am another one who started early ) Maybe you will have to have a big sit down and tell them that if they cant support you in this then you wont be putting up with this type of behaviour anymore as you are going to be a mum if they like it or not...

    been so young when I had my winkies I am sure my family had a few words to say about it ( more so when we got married at 18 !!! ) but they were smart enough to keep it to themselves... helped I lived in another state lol...

    Give them sometime they just have to get used to the idea... they will just melt when they do get to meet the newest member of the family and will no doult feel bad for what they have said....

  12. #12
    Platinum Member. Love a friend xxx

    Mar 2008
    Perth, WA
    1,225

    I really feel for you.

    My family was very similar in their reactions.

    My sister called me a "fat lazy ****" for getting married and planning to get pregnant.

    Needless to say she's not worth my time or attention anymore.

  13. #13
    Registered User

    Mar 2007
    outer South East Melbourne
    2,881

    Sounds like some jealousy going on here.

    Perhaps the younger of the two sisters is actually trying & not having any luck.... some people who say they don't want kids or aren't ready to or whatever other reason they use are actually having troubles they don't wish to admit to.

    Does the oldest of the two have any kids? If not then that could be what the issue is with her.

    Anyway, just try to ignore them as best you can.