Advice please on c/s or vag delivery

[~breeze~]

When I had my DD through vag delivery, I had a bad tear... 3rd degree. It didn't go to my bottom (sorry dont know how to describe that!) so it could have been worse. I remember it seemed to take a long time to heal & was very tender for ages.

My question to others out there is; Should I choose an elective c/s this ime to avoid the risk of tearing again & maybe tearing further this time??

I know a c/s is far from the "easy way out" & I know there is usually alot of pain & recovery time after a c/s, I'm just a bit scared of having that worse tear.

Any advice would be appreciated. I visit the hospital doc in about 2 weeks so I'd like to have a definate plan by then.

Thanks in advance

[Trillian]

Definately don't have a c/s for fear of a tear. There is so much you can do to stop yourself from tearing or to minimise how much you tear. Also there is no guarantee that you will even tear at all. Grab yourself a copy of the pink kit and learn how to use your body to your advantage when giving birth and also do some perenial massage. Another big thing that can make a difference is how the birth is handled. If you breathe your baby out as opposed to pushing, there is less chance of tearing as your perenium has time to slowly stretch over the head as it is born. Also make sure that someone is giving your perenium good support too (obviously you can't reach down there LOL). I have had an episotomy (with #1) and tearing with the next two and if someone had of told me I would only get a tiny graze with my 4th I would have laughed at them - but that's what happened, only a tiny graze, no stitches to speak - even though my 4th baby had the largest head circumference at 37cm. The big difference was the way it was managed by my midwife.

[Mel A]

Definatly don't go the C/S,out of fear. My sister had two dry births (Waters broke really earily) the first midwife just let her go, she had major ripping with that one. Then her second, the midwife supported and helped her through, she only had to have 2 stiches.

Honestly, there are pro's and con's either way, but make the desision for what you feel most comforable with. take in all conditions posibilities and recoveries.

Mel

[~breeze~]

Thanks for your reply ladies. I really didn't want to go with a c/s (unless needed) but just dont want major tears.

I will definately look into the pink kit & look at different techniques.

Thanks again, you really did help

[Amie]

Ditto to what Sherie and Mel A said. The recovery from a c/s is not "easy". In addition to Sherie's suggestions, using water (birthing pool, bath) during labour can really help to soften the perineum. I personally know women who have had 2nd or 3rd degree tears who have gone on to have easier births the next time around simply by being better prepared and using different birthing techniques (and one of these women had a 9lb baby the 2nd time around!).

HTH.

[Nicambhar]

Dan, I had a c/s for my first, had a natural delivery for my second and had a tear. It wasn't a 3rd degree or anything, but I must've got the trainee stitching me up. He unpicked me and restitched me 3 times and even wanted to go in for a 4th go. It took a long time to heal and to this day still doesn't feel right. Anyhows, I had another baby after that, 8lb 2 oz and I was crapping myself that I would tear, but amazing I didn't even get a graze at all.
Everyone is different, but I though that I would tell you my story as it might give you a little more confidence.

[~breeze~]

Thanks Sarah. I did spend some time in the spa during my last labour but didnt seem to help for some reason. My daughter was 8lb 13oz so just under 9lb. I hope what some say about each baby getting bigger than the last isn't true LOL (I know its just an old wives tale but it has happened to quite alot of people I know )

[~breeze~]

Nic Thanks for your story, it definately makes me feel more confident about another vag delivery.
I'm so sorry to hear about what you had to go through with the guy stitching you up, personally I think that's wrong that someone else didnt step in once he started having probs!
Lets hope neither of us tear this next time round! (& if we do, lets hope we have someone competant enough to do a good job with the stitches!!)

[Amie]

As much as it might seem unrelated, maybe look into having a birth attendant (sometimes called a doula) or doing some birth education classes other than the hospital ones (Calmbirthing is great for alleviating any doubts about your birthing abilities). The reason I suggest it is that your body and mind can sometimes interfere with each other and never is this more true than in labour! Your body knows what it needs to do and it'll do it as long as your mind doesn't stop it with anxiety, fear, worry etc. A birth attendant is great for re-focusing you if things get a little hectic or not-exactly-according-to-plan. She'll be calm, experienced and able to help you through any anxieties you might be having.

PS: congrats on your pg!

[Trillian]

I'm glad to have eased your mind a little Danielle. I want to add that this will be the second time you've given birth and you will be a lot more confident in your ability this time round and usually the second stage (pushing) is easier as the first baby paved the way so to speak. The possible size of the baby doesn't make a great deal of difference either as to whether you remain intact or not.

One thing that can be said for tearing is that you will only tear as much as you need for the baby to be born, so even if you do tear, it may not be as much as it was the first time.

[mbear]

My daughter was 8lb 13oz so just under 9lb

so was my first daughter, and i had 3rd deg tears.......
i went on to have #2 and #3 through a vaginal delivery without a single tear for each of them. I think as the others have said, being a bit more prepared about labour helped me a bit. I really focussed on my breathing for DD#2 birth and i felt so much more in control.....
Good luck...

[~breeze~]

Thanks so much ladies, I've decided I'll stick to my original plan of vag delivery. I will def do the breathing etc.

Mbear Thanks so much, your story really made me feel better about my choice Thanks for sharing.

[paradise lost]

I second what everyone else has said! Get the pink kit, lots of knowledge and some great birth attendants and go for it! Between c/s and vaginal, only one of those births will GUARANTEE you have a big wound, lots of stitches and a long recovery...

Bx

[Antheia]

When i was pregnant with #2 my midwife told me that sometimes when we tear it is because we have 'disconnected' our mind to our body. So she encouraged perineal massage to let our mind 'get in touch' with our body down there. So that when baby starts to crown we will know and feel if we are pushing to hard or too fast and slow down to ease baby out so we don't tear.

I don't know if it works as i had an epidural with DS so i couldn't feel him crowning and i had a 2nd degree tear. But i had a 2nd degree tear with #1 and it was so much worse than with #2. So i still feel that i 'connected' even just a little to avoid worse damage than before, if that makes sense. Plus with #1 i never actually felt myself tear or her crown at all so i feel i must have been out of touch with it, IYKWIM?

I hope that helps some (and makes sense). Goodluck!

[Nicambhar]

Danielle - The stupid guy that was stitching me copped a massive earful when he started uming and ahhing again after the 3rd lot. All I wanted to do was get my feet out of the stirrups and put my legs together again PML.
Glad to hear that you feel better about making a decision. A bad experience can really instill such a fear in a person.
xx

[Sheba]

I had to be cut for my first baby, 9 or so stitches later!! It took a long time to feel normal downstairs, but compared with the c/s (breech baby) i had with my second, i would opt for the vaginal birth any day! I hated the c/s it was so clinical, sign here, oh here is your baby... I could not hold him for a whole day, and i could not breastfeed until the following day because he had fluid on his lungs from the c/s, thats just my view and the fact i could not pick up my toddler was hard. I also found it hard to not do anything, you just don't realise how much you do, when your told to not do it for 6 weeks.