Baby Shower alternatives

[soulful]

Ladies - a friend of mine is really keen on hosting a baby shower for me. I have a few reservations though:

• None of my family members have had a baby shower in the past. I don't want to be seen as setting a 'precedent' in the family
• I don't like the idea of expecting guests to buy gifts
• I am a little supersticious in that I don't want to get too ahead of myself and 'celebrate' too much before the baby is born

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

[helle]

Ladies - a friend of mine is really keen on hosting a baby shower for me. I have a few reservations though:

• None of my family members have had a baby shower in the past. I don't want to be seen as setting a 'precedent' in the family
• I don't like the idea of expecting guests to buy gifts
• I am a little supersticious in that I don't want to get too ahead of myself and 'celebrate' too much before the baby is born

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

You could wait until after bub is here and having a christening/name dedication?

[Phteven]

How about a girl's day out? You could all visit a day spa for a bit of pampering.

[Loupy]

You could have the same sort of thing, but just make it more of a girly catch up. Have your girlfriend specify no gifts and just have everyone bring a little plate of food and some good advice

[NaeNae]

I can appreciate the superstitious angle and not wanting to count your chickens before they hatch.

Do you actually want a get together at all?

I think its best to chat to your friend and let her know you do not want a baby shower because of how you feel. TBH I doubt having a shower will set a precedent for the entire family as everyone feels differently about these things and not everyone has family at Baby showers anyway, as its usually a "catch up" you get to have with all your friends. No one I know "expects" to be given gifts when they have their shower but you know what, people will buy something regardless even before the baby is born.

I like the spa/pamper day idea, we did that for a friends hens night and it was great a bit exxy but great nonetheless.

I think if you really felt so strongly against a Baby Shower or any type celebration before bub is due then go with Teagz idea and have a "welcome home baby" party. Though you may not feel like doind too much for a month or so

Nae x

[mbear]

The only baby shower ive had was with my firstborn - my sisters organised one for AFTER she was born - 14 days after infact. They did everything....i just had to offer my house and my presence !!!!
We didnt know what we were having, i felt silly having people around celebrating my baby when she wasnt here yet....i also knew, that when baby was born, everyone would be wanting to see her (naturally), so have a party after she was born, and inviting those people that would have popped over anyway, kinda killed 2 birds with one stone...

I also got things i genuinly wanted and needed...i.e girl stuff. Not bone or yellow stuff.

[rhyb]

Im thinking Ill do a 'meet the babies' sort of thing cz everyones keen for me to have a babyshower but Im sorta too scared

[MummaSue]

I've been very interested to read this thread. I'm from Scotland and we don't do "baby showers" in the UK. My friends here are all asking me when my baby shower will be (I'm only 9 weeks!!) and I tell them I'm not having one and get looks of almost horror!

I'm not that superstitious about it but I do feel funny about celebrating a baby that isn't quite here yet and having people buy gifts. I'd much rather wait till the baby is born and see people individually.

I think that the girls day out/ spa idea is a nice one though! Or even a picnic in the park or something?

Hugs
Sue x

[Inanna]

I am not a fan of baby showers either (completely personal & understand why people do like them). To me having a baby is a very spiritual event - I find the whole presents and games with dummies etc not my scene.

Have you thought about a Blessing Way? Blessing Ways is a time that a Woman joins with other Women that she feels drawn to to "bless her way" through the remainder of pregnancy, birth until she meets her baby. Sometimes rituals are done, readings read and often special things are given to the mother that represent strength, courage, love...

I have had one for all my babies and have attended countless for other women. They are very special and serve to set the intention for birthing. The mother is honoured by the other women as the Goddess that she is.

In times past this was done for all women - somehow it's become the baby shower thing that we have in our society now and lost that spirituality.

Just an idea!

[Inanna]

I am not a fan of baby showers either (completely personal & understand why people do like them). To me having a baby is a very spiritual event - I find the whole presents and games with dummies etc not my scene.

Have you thought about a Blessing Way? Blessing Ways is a time that a Woman joins with other Women that she feels drawn to to "bless her way" through the remainder of pregnancy, birth until she meets her baby. Sometimes rituals are done, readings read and often special things are given to the mother that represent strength, courage, love...

I have had one for all my babies and have attended countless for other women. They are very special and serve to set the intention for birthing. The mother is honoured by the other women as the Goddess that she is.

In times past this was done for all women - somehow it's become the baby shower thing that we have in our society now and lost that spirituality.

Just an idea!

[mummato1]

I am not a fan of baby showers either (completely personal & understand why people do like them). To me having a baby is a very spiritual event - I find the whole presents and games with dummies etc not my scene.

I am the same as flowerchild, baby showers are just not for me. Instead I got 3 of my best girlfriends together and we went out to dinner, it was great to have a girly catchup before bub was born.

[Cassius2]

we had a baby shower and loved it! we didnt have family around, so i guess the more arbitrary convention was used.
i was fairly firm (i organised it myself) and didnt want to have games or anything like that. instead we just invited all our neighbours and friends and work colleagues to "Leila's Party". made some scones with cream and jam and sat around on the floor listening to reminisces of our people that had gone before us in parenthood. i found it to be a grounding experience and almost a right of passage in that my community was acknowleging the changes that were about to happen and expressing their joy and support.
presents were par for the course. we didnt ask for them, but part of how our community shows their thoughts and hopes for the baby to come is through bringing gifts; and it was wonderful to open and see the things that they had brought over for our baby, it made me believe that leila was not only welcome by our immediate family but also by my wider community...a community that i didnt realise then, but only after the birth of our baby would become such an important support network of home cooked dinners, cups of teas in the front gardens and sanity breaks during the 'witching hour'.

IMO it is nice to do something to acknowledge this special time. where the baby is still 'unkown' to us yet so dearly dearly loved and welcome. i think it is also a great chance for the mumma and pappa to find grounding and support of the new arrival and be given a chance to fully immerse themselves in that celebration and realisation ITMS.

my friend has asked me to organise her baby shower...she doesnt want to have a big show of it, so we are going to have a bbq at her place where friends and family can get together and just chill. no ribbons, no tulle and certainly no 'what's in the nappy' games LOL! just a get together to celebrate and welcome the baby to the world.

[Sequoia]

We recently had a couple of "Not A Baby Shower" afternoon tea for two friends (seperate events) who were having babies. We all took a plate of sweet things, like a high tea event, and drank pink champagne, no presents either, it was wonderful!!!

[{sarah}]

I've had a traditional baby shower (for my first) and a girly lunch (for my second) both were great If you don't want a baby shower as such I'd go out for a meal with your girlfriends instead. It's nice to have one last girly lunch / dinner before bub arrives as it will probably be some time before you can (or want to) go out on your own

[soulful]

Sequoia - "Not a Baby Shower" afternoon tea! I love the idea. It is in indirectly prepositioning people to NOT bring a gift, and serves more as a get-together rather than a baby shower. Great idea. Thanks for the suggestion.

Did these work well? Were they just a get together type of event?

[misskate]

i had a baby party as traditionally its supposed to only be women at the shower and i dont have many girlfriends and wanted dp to get involved. we had a afternoon tea at our place and had a bbq ready in case anyone wanted to stay.... i really enjoyed myself and people did buy pressies even though i said none.

[Sequoia]

Sequoia - "Not a Baby Shower" afternoon tea! I love the idea. It is in indirectly prepositioning people to NOT bring a gift, and serves more as a get-together rather than a baby shower. Great idea. Thanks for the suggestion.

Did these work well? Were they just a get together type of event?

You're welcome! They worked out great, one was a surprise for one friend and the other one knew about it. All of us bought a sweet plate, I made cupcakes, and we sat around chatting.