normally only have them for first babies and ultimately they are to give gifts so if that wasnt to happen then it wouldnt really be a baby shower!

i have heard of surprise ones but if she really doesnt want one then this might rub her the wrong way.

ive heard of a new 'baby welcome shower' a get together thats held AFTER the bub is born so the bub is there. this might be better as ultimately its not a shower and if ppl have already brought a pressie at the time of birth they might not be as inclined to bring a pressie... as it is technically just to see the bub and have a get together. asking ppl to bring a plate of food and / or their drinks might make them think also that there is no need for a present in this instance?