I'm sure there have been a million threads on this so I apologise if so, but I can't seem to find any in searching.
I was pretty miserable in my pregnancy with DS. I threw up for 6.5 months and was horribly car-sick and gaggy the whole time and was essentially unable to lead anything resembling a normal life. I also had a traumatic birth and very difficult recovery. But I have an awesome kid!!
I am contemplating #2- not yet, but in the future- but the thought of going through that pg again is horrific. I can't even imagine doing it with a toddler to look after.
I am just curious if anyone has had quite a difficult first pregnancy and then a better second one? Anyone have any hope, or will I have to find a way through it??
i had an easy first pregnacy, sick til 16 weeks but smooth sailing from there, traumatic birth= long recovery which made me scared to try again.
second pregnancy again sick til 16 weeks, SPD from 28 weeks awesome birth and recovery.
i found second time harder mainly because i couldnt sleep in as i had DD1 to tend too, found it hard playing with her on the floor etc..gettin gup was hard! i think age and having anpther one to run around after made it harder but not too bad!!
I had all-day sickness until 26w with DS1 and was hospitalised with pre-eclampsia at 28w. He was born at 34w. I'd say that was a nasty pg.
With DS2, I stopped work at 16w (doctor's orders) and rested. It was much better. MS stopped at about 18w (funny enough, just after I stopped working...) and I went 9 days over.
They are different.
I was super tired at the start of pg1. This pg it was not as noticeable.
I only felt sick with pg1 if I was hungry. This one I was very queasy all day for about 14 weeks.
I have more back and hip pain with this pg.
It is difficult running around and having to pick up Flynn. I can't sleep in or lounge around all day!
I'm finding I am more tired now, but I think that is from having someone other than me to look after.
HTH
GL
With my first pregnancy, I had m/s up until I delivered Nina (I had it throughout my entire labour). I finished up work at around 26 weeks as I couldn't even leave the house without throwing up everywhere.
With my 2nd pregnancy, it was fantastic. Such an easy pregnancy.
Nope! my first pregnancy was a breeze, little bit of morning sickness at the beginning, i went 14 days over and had to be induced, but had a breezy labour/birth. dd was an absolute angel baby (different story once she hit 18 months old!)
this pregnancy i had morning sickness from the beginning till about 25 weeks, ive had SPD since about 20weeks, and its so painful, im so over being sore i seem to have less patience, feel twice as big. i had to give up work at 28 weeks (which kinda put u in a hard spot financially, as i just had to 'stop' working, i was expecting to last an extra 6 weeks than i did!) oh, and im incredibly over it this time! i just want my baby in my arms!!
So, far, much better this time. I'm so busy with ds these days I don't have as much time to notice how tired or sick I feel- I'm not so focused on myself and that makes things easier.
My first prg was the best so far - probably because I only had myself to worry about! LOL. I only get mild MS till about 14 weeks and the rest of my first prg was a breeze apart from episodes of bleeding on and off (which I have had with every viable prg so far).
Last prg I was much more stressed (IVF prg) and tired and sooooo uncomfortable by the end. I was a lot bigger this time. Also had shocking varicose veins which were really uncomfortable (and not exactly aesthetically pleasing!) but thankfully they settled after DS was born.
This time is similar, much more tired (despite not working at all this time, I'm averaging about 10 hours sleep a night and Im still tired!) and already getting pretty uncomfortable at 31 weeks. Ditto on the variocose veins - hideous.
Last edited by Willow; May 23rd, 2009 at 07:51 PM.
So far this time round I'm feel soooo much worse....sorry that prob doesn't help. I had slight m/s with DS & then threw up heaps at the end & I hated it. This time round I am sick every day...I can't even sleep properly & it's making it very hard to focus on DS, & DH is away a lot for work. Not fun.
But my doc tells me the sicker I am the healthier bubs is, so I'll go with that LOL.
with pg1, i was sick until the day i delivered - i had to quit work, didn't put on any weight for 7 months, had really bad anxiety, it was basically horrible. pg2 had bad ms for a few weeks, then great until about 6 months when i fainted at the hairdressers, and then basically felt like crap most days until delivery. but overally, pg2 was 100 times better than pg1.
Its bitter sweet isnt it ???!!! 1st pregnancy was bliss really looking back now....worked full time, no sickness, and only had myself and DH to worry about. But on the flip side, any niggly pains i did get, the uncomfortable nature of the 3rd trimester really got me down......maybe coz i only had that to worry about (i.e no little toddlers running around)....
Pg #2, #3 and now #4 is harder i think on my body, but i dont have time to sit around and think about how uncomfortable i am, or how nauseaus i feel, or how tired i am - i HAVE to bath the girls, i HAVE to cook them dinner, i HAVE to iron the school uniform...no one else will do it. So in that sense, yes, i think subsequent pregnancies are harder, but you just have to get on with it.....i remember being nauseaus with DD#2 pregnancy, and i lied on the floor most of the day watching Hi5 with my then 20month old....you just do it.....and you often dont think about what you entailed until years after the pregnancy LOL......
Like the others have said it is easier the first preg cos you only have you to think about.
With both my pregs I have had different life and baby threatening conditions. I also had anxiety and AND both times. Difference with the second was how I those to think/feel about it all and deal with it.
It's not about me, it's about my fave two little people. I'd do anything to have them and I'd do it all again for them.....I have been told I'm not allowed any more pregs cos one of us won't survive.
I was the other way around, my first pregnancy was an absolute breeze (apart form SHOCKING 'morning sickness'), the second one has been much harder on me... I think a lot of that though has to do with some rather extenuating circumstances (#2 was conceived 3 days before some major family drama and the stress of dealing with that - it's an ongoing problem with no end in sight at this point, could drag on for years - has not been conducive to a relaxing pregnancy), as well as the typical dealing with a toddler.
I only ever planned on having two, so I'm glad that this pregnancy has been the difficult one as tbh it really has put me off even the desire to have another go at more down the track... I had very little morning sickness this time around but I'm very tired, sore, stressed about other things and busybusybusy with DD so I just don't think I would be up to the challenge again. I also feel like I have a lot less support this time around - with DD, it was all so new and exciting that everyone around me couldn't get enough of helping me out, DH was in a less stressful job and was more physically and emotionally available, this time around I kind of feel like I'm on my own and that's not helping things either.
If I'm completely truthful, though, the thing I am more frightened of/having trouble facing right now is the idea of attempting breastfeeding again!! Birth hopefully will be a snap, I know what I'm in for and I'm quite open to the possibility of any complications, I'm sure I will be okay if something goes wrong, but a friend just gave birth to her first bub and is having bfing dilemmas, and I swear I am freaking out because her situation has just reminded me of what I went through with DD - I'm terrified!!
I suppose the key to this sort of dilemma is to look at what you stand to gain vs what you stand to lose - is your desire to have a sibling for your little one strong enough to overcome your fears of having another difficult pregnancy and birth? Do you have the support you think you will need (ie DP helping with DS when you're feeling sick/too tired to manage him?), or will you need to establish some networks in order to get through another hard pregnancy without falling to bits? Is having the knowledge that you got through your last pregnancy and birth, no matter how difficult, with a gorgeous little man to show for all your hardships enough to empower you to do it all over again?
I'm sorry I'm not much help, I hope you are able to make a decision that you're happy with I always figured that in time, we tend to forget about just how hard things were for us during pregnancy and labour because otherwise we'd all only ever have one kid!! In a while you might feel strong enough and confident enough to get through ANYTHING and the pain of your memories does heal with time (and don't hesitate to talk to someone about your traumatic birth experience, it really does help and arms you with better knowledge for next time around!), and you may well decide 'the heck with it - I can do this!' and go for it
Last edited by Glamourcide; May 23rd, 2009 at 07:27 PM.
First pg was a breeze, no m/s, mild fatigue - you wouldn't have known I was pg except for the other more obvious signs. My tummy didn't even poke out until I was about 16-18 weeks, and the bump never really got that large or unweildy. I got GD in the last trimester (controlled by diet), but had a dream birth.
This time round, I've had m/s which has been on and off all day (no hanging over the loo, but feeling pretty cruddy), the fatigue has been out of control at times, I get ravenous but at the same time I've had no appetite (if that makes sense). I've felt generally pretty blah ... and I'm already starting to get a bump ... at 11 weeks!!!
I'm putting it down to DS being 14 months, and while he's a great, placid toddler - he's still very active. Also, I'm not as fit as I was this time round, and I didn't take any multi-vitamins for three months before conceiving (this pg was a real surprise).
However, today I feel "NORMAL" . So I'm thinking positive that the worst is over. And whatever the case, I'm determined to have a happy, healthy (fingers crossed) pregnancy from here in!
Actually, I'm sorry to say, my second pg was awful, but then I think that's what you get for having an easy first pg. Same goes with babies - my first DS was so easy as a baby and has never been a tanty thrower. So my payback - DS2 screamed for 12 weeks solid with colic and is a champion tanty thrower!
^ Lol that's what I'm scared of, too - DD is an absolute firecracker but she's just very smart - she wears me out like nothing else but she's generally a very happy, healthy little thing who just wants to be on the go constantly... she was such a good baby, slept through the night from 6 weeks, never had colic/reflux/feeding issues (a little constipation when swapped from BF to formula but that was easily fixed with some Coloxyl), was never a spewer, was easily settled/amused when upset, gained weight from the minute she was born and never gets sick...
So I'm petrified that this time around I'm going to get a bub that spews, cries, has colic/reflux, a lactose intolerance or something if she ends up on formula, won't sleep through until she's five lol, refuses to be settled, all the things DD didn't do and I don't know if I can stand!!!
I found 2nd pregnancy harder mainly due to having a toddler to chase after.
With the 1st I could rest after work, nap, spend my days off lying on the couch, 2nd time round I was constantly on the go.
Sorry Gothmum, but DS1 sounds just like that - bright and active, slept through from 6 weeks, no spewing etc. DS2 was a chucker! But he did sleep through from 12 months so not as bad as you are fearing!
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Was your 2nd pg better than your 1st?
i seem to have less patience, feel twice as big. i had to give up work at 28 weeks (which kinda put u in a hard spot financially, as i just had to 'stop' working, i was expecting to last an extra 6 weeks than i did!) oh, and im incredibly over it this time! i just want my baby in my arms!!
I always figured that in time, we tend to forget about just how hard things were for us during pregnancy and labour because otherwise we'd all only ever have one kid!! In a while you might feel strong enough and confident enough to get through ANYTHING and the pain of your memories does heal with time (and don't hesitate to talk to someone about your traumatic birth experience, it really does help and arms you with better knowledge for next time around!), and you may well decide 'the heck with it - I can do this!' and go for it
. So I'm thinking positive that the worst is over. And whatever the case, I'm determined to have a happy, healthy (fingers crossed) pregnancy from here in!
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