Was your 2nd pg better than your 1st?

[Glamourcide]

I was the other way around, my first pregnancy was an absolute breeze (apart form SHOCKING 'morning sickness'), the second one has been much harder on me... I think a lot of that though has to do with some rather extenuating circumstances (#2 was conceived 3 days before some major family drama and the stress of dealing with that - it's an ongoing problem with no end in sight at this point, could drag on for years - has not been conducive to a relaxing pregnancy), as well as the typical dealing with a toddler.

I only ever planned on having two, so I'm glad that this pregnancy has been the difficult one as tbh it really has put me off even the desire to have another go at more down the track... I had very little morning sickness this time around but I'm very tired, sore, stressed about other things and busybusybusy with DD so I just don't think I would be up to the challenge again. I also feel like I have a lot less support this time around - with DD, it was all so new and exciting that everyone around me couldn't get enough of helping me out, DH was in a less stressful job and was more physically and emotionally available, this time around I kind of feel like I'm on my own and that's not helping things either.

If I'm completely truthful, though, the thing I am more frightened of/having trouble facing right now is the idea of attempting breastfeeding again!! Birth hopefully will be a snap, I know what I'm in for and I'm quite open to the possibility of any complications, I'm sure I will be okay if something goes wrong, but a friend just gave birth to her first bub and is having bfing dilemmas, and I swear I am freaking out because her situation has just reminded me of what I went through with DD - I'm terrified!!


I suppose the key to this sort of dilemma is to look at what you stand to gain vs what you stand to lose - is your desire to have a sibling for your little one strong enough to overcome your fears of having another difficult pregnancy and birth? Do you have the support you think you will need (ie DP helping with DS when you're feeling sick/too tired to manage him?), or will you need to establish some networks in order to get through another hard pregnancy without falling to bits? Is having the knowledge that you got through your last pregnancy and birth, no matter how difficult, with a gorgeous little man to show for all your hardships enough to empower you to do it all over again?

I'm sorry I'm not much help, I hope you are able to make a decision that you're happy with I always figured that in time, we tend to forget about just how hard things were for us during pregnancy and labour because otherwise we'd all only ever have one kid!! In a while you might feel strong enough and confident enough to get through ANYTHING and the pain of your memories does heal with time (and don't hesitate to talk to someone about your traumatic birth experience, it really does help and arms you with better knowledge for next time around!), and you may well decide 'the heck with it - I can do this!' and go for it