We had the 19-20 week scan today and as always I walk in thinking everything will be ok, baby is healthy and normal, I never really believe anything will be wrong, right up until the end of the scan I thought that everything was normal.

I am then told that our baby has a problem with her heart, she will most likely require surgery shortly after birth, which means that once again my baby will be taken straight to NICU, my baby will once again be fed via a nasogastric tube, my baby will again not get to breastfeed although I do hope this will only be a short term problem, my baby once again will be taken to the royal childrens hospital so far away, I will have to express again, I will have to apart from my baby, I will miss so much, all this with DD in tow at just 19 months.

I am strong, I will get through this, I have not yet shead a tear, I am sad for what I will not get to experience but I am determind to make this experience a better one than what I experienced with DD. I just cannot believe I am here again.

I think I kind of expected that things would not be perfect. I wonder if I will ever experience newborn cuddles, newborn poos, my baby breastfeeding, taking my baby home from hospital with me, a baby with a smaller medical file then mine.

I am coping really well, I am sad for what is to come but I am not angry, everything happens for a reason, I still have lessons to learn.



If anyone does have personal experience with a baby that was born with a 'coarctation of the aorta' or an 'aortic interruption' I would love to have a chat about what is to come.