c section acceptance

[Mother Goose]

The first thing I like to ask people when they tell me they are afraid of something (especially when I'm admitting for surgery at work) is "what are you afraid of/what is concerning you?". If you can answer that question, you can then seek the answers that are going to help you to make peace with the possibility of a C-Sect.

I could tell you about my experience (induction followed by emergency C-Sect) but that won't necessarily answer the questions you have or alleviate your fears and concerns. I could give you a step by step account of what happens when you have a spinal or epidural and what will happen in the theatre. I could tell you what the most likely response to any number of scenarios in the theatre will be... but that won't necessarily address your concerns or questions. So if you can identify what it is you're afraid or worried about, you might get some more specific answers and experiences that will help you.

I think it's great you're being proactive about this too Skybie. Good for you!

MG

[skybie]

MG i think its the unknown of it all, its not something ive done before so dont know what to expect.
Having a needle put in my back scares me, not being able to move afterwards scares me. Something being amiss with bub and loosing those first few hours scares me(i know this cant be helped csection or not, but atleast with a VB i'd be able to be with him in special care) what happens if he is taken and he gets hungry and im not there? What its going to feel like afterwards,being alone in recovery not knowing whats going on with my baby, healing properly, not having my milk come in and being on reliant on someone looking after me, while i have little ppl to look after. i'm the looker afterer, not the one that needs lookingafter so its a new concept for me.

There are so many vabriables with this pregnancy and i dnt think im coping too well with it, i knwo labour always has its variables but theres so many gaps and it could go this way or it could go this ways this time around

[*Beema*]

Firstly

This was something that I had to come to deal with it, I needed to be able to accept it as well, and like you I decided to make preparations early so that I was able to have plenty of time to get my head around the concept after having a very quick VB with DD1. DD2 was breech, and we were expecting growth issues, while my OB was more than supporting for a breech delivery it came with conditions, bub had to be over 2kg and less than 3.5 or 3.8kg somewhere around there. I tried so much to get DD2 to turn but she couldn't, we did an ECV at 28 weeks and I've done so many inversions it's not funny on top of other things. after 32 weeks I felt that she wasn't going to turn, as she had tried, but just couldn't get around. But we were then moving into the ok zone for a breech delivery. After there things went downhill, growth slowed and then stopped, I ran out of amniotic fluid and the decision was made to deliver at 35 weeks. Things that I struggled to deal with was chosing the date, I couldn't do it, and I am glad that the decision was made by my OB, I wasn't given the choice. I did have a thread about it, but it got lost in the big crash of Spetember 2010.

I also wanted to make it an empowering birth, I was concerned that I wouldn't feel as though I birthed my baby because I didn't do it the "natural" way, or the same way I did with DD1. So I started a thread asking how other people made their CSection empowering, I needed ways that I could have some control over the birth, my decisions and choices, also what I could ask for. I received some amazing feedback, the thread is here if you want to read it.

I think a big part of it for you will be about bubs as well, because he is likely to come out blue, there are a lot of things that change at delivery whether it be a VB or CS, he will go to resus, you amy or may not get a hold, hopefully with just a bit of 02 you will be able to have a cuddle, but I would assume that they will be keen to get him to NICU quite quickly to monitor and assess how he is going. I think this is a part that you need to prepare for as well, whether it be a VB or CS, being left "alone" as such can be really hard. I've gone through it twice and I have to say the second time was easier, DD2 was taken over to resus after I was able to touch her foot, then a few minutes later she was bought over to me and I was able to hold her, but I could see that she wasn't doing so well, she was blowing bubbles and her breathing was pausing, so she was back to my Paed and off to the SCN pretty quickly, and I sent DH with them, I was taken there after I came our of recovery lying on the bed. With DD 1, I had a quick hold on my belly, then she was taken to resus and to SCBU3, I didn't see her for a few hours.

But I have to say the CS itself was great, I walked into the threatre, which I felt was really important, there was no reason that I couldn't walk, I had my last contraction as the Anaethatist was putting in the Spinal, DD was fully engaged (although I didn't realise at the time) so she was "ready", I had spoken with my OB, MW, and our Paed about everything I wanted to achieve earlier that day and what the "plan" was going to be, we also went through the "if things don't go well" plan, so I was fully aware of what the proceedures were going to be. No issue with the section at all, infact for me it was quite fascinating (I love medical stuff though!), it was also light hearted, music playing, everyone was quite jovial, I was asking my OB where she was up to, everyone was getting all excited when she was about to be delivered, but no one wanted to know if it was going to be a boy or girl Our team was ready for what ever needed to happen and they had people prepared should we need a transfer for DD2, so i was completely relaxed and knew that we were both in the best hands.

My recovery wasn't brilliant, I am not going to soften it, because it hurt, I had no idea what to expect really, I took the meds, but one MW suggested dropping them too quickly and things went bad for a while. I had no idea the pain that would occur if my bladder or bowel was too full and my meds were wearing off, I couldn't move it DD1 was moved into my room in the isolette, so once I was able to get up to her I did, but for me it wasn't pain free, and I think the dropping back of the meds too early really set me back You will need to keep them up as much as you need to, don't feel pressured to drop them as I know you will be wanting to get up and down to the SCN/NICU, but getting up and about will be good but you will need to rest as well.

So while I would still chose a VB over a CS, a CS wasn't that bad, and for me I knew it was the safest thing we could do to bring DD2 earthside, neither of us would be able to cope with a VB, as we couldn't stop the Nifedipine for me (or my BP would have gone through the roof!) and DD2 was not in a good enough condition to attempt a breech induction. So I have been able to accept having a CS for these reasons, I wouldn't elect to have one just because, I had one because medically it was the right thing to do.

I hope you can find your own way to accpet the possibility of a CS, and I really believe that informing yourself and being prepared for what ever eventuates is a really intelligent way of doing it
I am here to chat more if you need me xxoo

[joey123]

skybie - i don't really know how to help you overcome your fear, but i have had 2 now and they were just fine. the only suggestion i can give you is regarding the epidural ... which is not just cs related, but the first time i had one, i jumped when they tried to put it in. of course nothing bad happened, but then they told me to push my bad towards them and that worked fine. the second time i was ready for the needle, and i don't even remember if it hurt or not, so it couldn't have been that bad, but i just concerntrated on my breathing and stayed as still as i could. it was just fine.

i hope you have a natural birth, perhaps try all the teas, herbs, oils, pills, etc to try and self induce your labour. gl for you. take care and all the best xx

[littlescottishboy]

I have had two c/s, both very different.
First bub i had loads of complications (placenta praevia grade 4, plus haemmorhaging) and had to have a general anaesthetic as well. Necessary for my safety and for bubs safety, but not the blissful, dreamy, 'romantic' natural birth I'd always dreamed for and hoped to have. As a result of the general, i didn't get to meet bubs till a few hours later. I was just so relieved to actually meet him and have all our scary isues over that i didn't care how he got into the world. I was more upset that i couldn;t breasfed him as he was in intensive care and needed to be tube-fed - but that's another story as he was quite sick when he was born.

Second bub, c/s again. Doc's recommendation and my preference too (i know i could have tried for a VBAC, but i seriously just wanted my baby in my arms and was scared of the previous scar rupturing if i went through with a VBAC, even though i know the risk is very low of this actually happening, and i know many people do have succesful VBACs - i just felt like it was not the option for me personally). So had a spinal block - i won't lie, i was petrified of the spinal block - but after it was in, i just laid back and was able to relax knowing i was awake and my DH was by my side. Then when she was born, I was sooooo overjoyed that i cried and cried tears of joy while they sewed me up! At that moment, I couldn't have cared less that i had had a c/s again; i had my gorgeous baby, she was healthy, and we were both okay. That was all that mattered to me.

I was able to breastfed her almost straight away - it only took about half an hour to finish me, while they did all the obs etc on bubby. I remember b'feeding her in the recovery room, and it was the most beautiful feeling ever to know that i was with her, she was with me, and all was right with the world!

I honour and respect all the multitude of opinions on the topic of c/s or VBAC, but i can only speak personally. For me, i had been through enough trauma, and all i wanted was a healthy baby in my arms (both times!). So for me, the result was more important for me than the actual process. Both my kids are gorgeous litle souls and the loves of my life. I love them to bits, and no one can tell how they arrived in the world by looking at them.

I did feel guilt for a while, kind of because i thought i 'had to feel guilty' - lots of things you read make you feel like a failure if you can't birth naturally. The guilt kind of came later. But i have now come to accept that having my babies in my arms and now in my life everyday is the most important thing to me, regardless of how they came out of my body. My body grew them, and nourished them, and for those reasons, i am proud of my body for giving me my children.

[Smoke Jaguar]

It's possible having a birth plan that covers the eventuality of a c-section will put you at ease, somewhat. To do this you will need to ask specific questions of your caregiver about what they can do to optimise breastfeeding establishment, skin to skin, holding and all of that. If you know these things will be made possible for you, then you'll feel a lot better about what is a possibility in the birth.
You will need to inform yourself to empower yourself. Please don't trust that the caregivers will do what you want if you don't have it written down adn if you haven't discussed the feasibility of what you want to have happen. I know people say birth plans are a waste of time (I didn't find this with either of my two birth plans) and how will you ever know if you don't even produce one?
Find out for yourself what is involved with induction and with c-section following induction - don't just ask the midwives, or the OB, because they often leave out bits of information that they probably assume you already know, or that they simply don't wish you to know.
You may also greatly benefit from having a doula or even an IM to be with you and make sure that whatever happens occurs with both you and the baby in mind, not just liability insurance and not *just* the baby - outcomes are mistakenly measured these days by only looking at the baby's scores and stats, but we all know that a birth outcome is actually measured by the hours, days, weeks and months that follow birth because the outcome has to keep mama well enough in mind and body to nurture that baby!
You know what I mean To accept a possible outcome, you need to inform yourself about it, and a doula or IM can help, even if they're not there at the birth and you just want to pay one to give you prenatal care and support in the lead up to the event.

[Mother Goose]

MG i think its the unknown of it all, its not something ive done before so dont know what to expect.
Having a needle put in my back scares me, not being able to move afterwards scares me. Something being amiss with bub and loosing those first few hours scares me(i know this cant be helped csection or not, but atleast with a VB i'd be able to be with him in special care) what happens if he is taken and he gets hungry and im not there? What its going to feel like afterwards,being alone in recovery not knowing whats going on with my baby, healing properly, not having my milk come in and being on reliant on someone looking after me, while i have little ppl to look after. i'm the looker afterer, not the one that needs lookingafter so its a new concept for me.

There are so many vabriables with this pregnancy and i dnt think im coping too well with it, i knwo labour always has its variables but theres so many gaps and it could go this way or it could go this ways this time around

Sorry hon, I've been away a couple of days. It's great you can identify some of your concerns. Let me see if I can help put your mind at ease with some of them.

The needle in your back - what specifically scares you about that? You will be given some local anesthetic at the site they are going to put the needle in. That is usually yhe most uncomfortable part of the procedure.

Not being able to feel anything afterwards - this is temporary. I promise! The length of time it take to get the feeling back is dependent on various things including the dose you're given, how well your body processes drugs and so forth. I always encourage patients who have a spinal to keep trying to move once they hit me in recovery. Most hospitals won't let you up out of bed as soon as feeling returns anyway - they will want you in bed for a minimum of 12 hours.

If something goes amiss, some hospitals will still wheel you in to SCN in your bed so you can see bubs. Check with the hospital to see what their policy is on this.

If he's hungry and you're not there, they won't give him anything. They will wait for you. This is what happened with DD and myself.

What's it going to feel like afterwards in recovery? I can guarantee you that the nurses will be talking to you about your new bub - especially if they aren't busy! And they can always call and find out what's happening for you. Some hospitals allow bubs to accompany you to recovery (providing there isn't anything wrong with either of you). CHeck with your hospital to see what their policy is about bubs going to recovery with you.

Healing properly. I can't give you guarantees about anything but if you follow the recomendations (such as not lifting anything heavier than bubs) and use proper techniques to get in and out of bed etc, you should be fine. Don't be afraid to ask for pain relief if you need it.

Not having your milk come in. This is pretty controversial when it comes to discussions about c-sect. Some will tell you the c-sect interferred with their milk production whilst many will also tell you it doesn't. I think the thing to remember is that it takes a few days for milk to come in regardless of how you birth. With a c-sect you are going to be in hospital for around 5 nights so if you're worried, you can ask for lactation consultations and seek advice or help. Being aware of it puts you ahead.

Being reliant on someone else looking after you. Hon, there are a great many people who can't deal with someone else looking after them regardless of why they need help!!! I try to remind myself it's not permanent, that it is a necessary evil to have me back on my feet. Don't be afraid, just ask for what you need.

I understand your hesitation. It's ok to be afraid or worried. Keep talking about it and asking questions.

Perhaps talk with your DH about your wishes if you require a c-sect. Write it into your birth plan. Discuss it with your care givers. Make sure you talk to them about what you want and find out what is achievable.

If you have more questions or concerns, post them and hopefully BB can help alleviate your fears and concerns!


MG

[melbel]

If he's hungry and you're not there, they won't give him anything. They will wait for you. This is what happened with DD and myself.

MG

in regards to this, Skybie is a type 1 and it is almost definite bubs will suffer low BSLs post birth and will NEED nutrition of some sort....but I am not sure if they have told you what your options are. You can ask for it to be syringe or tube fed hun so he doesn't have a bottle and you can , as I did, pre express colostrum for him so there is less need for formula....the colostrum may be enough, some bubbas like mine are a little more stubborn and need a bit of formula or donated breastmilk as well to get those bsls up outta their boots. My obstetrician who is the head of fetal medicine at MMC was happy for me to express from about 34ish weeks so it is something to think about...also with your little one's heart issues he will likely be in SCN/NICU for a while so I would be thinking about investing in a good double electric breast pump, I have the medela freestyle and it was my lifesaver those first few days...it will also help your milk to come in an give you something productive to do as it can get quite lonely and disconcerting post birth when bubba is not with you.

[Mother Goose]

Perhaps ask if you can BF in theatre whilst they are stitching you up if you require a c-sect. that way you can start bonding immediately and hopefully negate a need for them to feed bubs if their BSL is low. Or, as Mel suggested, express some milk in advance.