If it means that much to you (and i know it does) to cut the cord yourself then i believe that you should. Maybe Dh can hold him while you do it and then he can be the one to place bub on your chest.

As for having you mum with you - the same. If you want to have extra support to help you through your labor then you are entitled to it. Could your mum give the baby a quick kiss/cuddle after dh does, then quietly leave the room so you two can bond alone with ds?

Dani, i really feel for you, you dont need your dh stressing you out anymore. Just tell him that's how its going to be and leave it at that (i know it wont be exactly that wasy). You've done a great job so far of trying to explain and that hasnt worked so just do what you need too. Its a very important and special occassion and you need not to have any regrets mwah xoxoxoxox