So sorry you got this news hun. Although my circs are a bit different, I do understand the feeling that the decision to add to your family has been taken out of your hands, I really relate to that alot and I feel that I have basically now come to terms with only having 2 kids because of all the issues I have with a 3rd c/s and my mental health as a result of it but it has taken a long time to reach that acceptance and it is still painful if people ask if we will go again, because the answer to them seems so simple but for us it just isn't. vent away and get your emotions and feelings out because it really is tough to make that decision whichever way you go. xoxo
I'm so sorry for this news hun. As you say knowledge is power and you can make a concious decision on where too next.
You know we are all here right with you, no matter what decision you make - and you know what? You can change your mind at any time too. We all luv ya!
Just another one adding some
It's a lot to take in, I guess some of it you already knew, but putting all the pieces together it's pretty disappointing picture.
But the truth is, you are the strongest woman I know, if you decide that you want another child in time, I am sure you will be able to put everything in place to make it possible, and to make it the most empowering experience you can. In the meantime, you need to recover from what was an absolutely gruelling pregnancy, and take on board all this new information. So settle in, enjoy your gorgeous princess and when the time comes, whatever decision you make, I know you and DH can do it together.
I think part of my "problem" is that I can't deal with what we went through, I have subconciously or even possibly conciously pushed it to the back of my mind so that I can enjoy having a newborn..... when ever I sit down and have time to myself and think about it, there is instantly that lump that sit in the back of one's throat, the tears well and I sit there convincing myself not to think about it....
I look at DD2 and I know that she is just the most precious little soul, and she makes it all worth it.
I know we won't be making any decisions soon, but I know in my heart that I don't feel like our family is complete, yet in the same instance could we do it all again...
You are right honeybee, we can't put a value on life, we would just find a way to finance it...
I can't find the right words for you all personally, but please know I appreciate all of your messages
I don't really know where to start when it comes to grieving our pregnancy, the loss of Miss A's twin and everything that happened... and the words from that OB (not mine) who at 29 weeks said we could still terminate if we wanted to just rip me appart
How do i deal with it all? I don't really know where to start, I can't really talk about it without turning into a blubbering mess, I have only cried about it once to DH since DD2's arrival.........
I'm not surprised to be honest, it was an unbelievably traumatic pregnancy and your reaction sounds perfectly normal. But I think you have to start making a time and space to deal with it... very gradually though, I wouldn't rush it. Can you find a counsellor or midwife who specialises in pregnancy loss or birth trauma, someone who would fully understand what you went through, that you could debrief with? Maybe once a week at first while DD1 is at daycare. Just so that if it does threaten to overwhelm you, you know that you have that time set aside to talk about it, cry about it, deal with it, with someone who can understand. DH could come with you if and when he needs to, because I am sure it was hard on him too. Maybe when you're feeling strong enough you can put in a complaint about the OB who made the comment about termination because that was just sooooo out of line. But that is what I would suggest as a place to start.... Kelly might be able to recommend someone locally.
What you're feeling is totally understandable, and I think if you want to have another baby in the future (and even if you decide you don't) it would help you to heal.
Thinking of you xoxoxox
the biggest hugs babe, u have done such a fantastic job, no1 expects u to have come out of it emotionally unscathed. u def need to deal with it but dont rush urself. i cant offer u any other advice, sorry hun. just big hugs xxx
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Although my circs are a bit different, I do understand the feeling that the decision to add to your family has been taken out of your hands, I really relate to that alot and I feel that I have basically now come to terms with only having 2 kids because of all the issues I have with a 3rd c/s and my mental health as a result of it but it has taken a long time to reach that acceptance and it is still painful if people ask if we will go again, because the answer to them seems so simple but for us it just isn't.
because that was just sooooo out of line. But that is what I would suggest as a place to start.... Kelly might be able to recommend someone locally.
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