Gender disappointment - WDYT?

[Fleur]

I definitely wanted to find out, I wanted time to prepare myself and I wanted the birth to be all about joy. I didn't want it tinged witheven the slightest disappointment regarding gender. I knew we would love any baby and figured if we already knew, then gender would not be an issue by the time bub arrived.

Someone else made a good point, about looking at baby gear when you are pregnant. I think if you have a wish for one gender more than another, it is easy to get drawn in to all the 'stuff' out there and picture your baby a certain way (in my case, in pretty pink dresses). If you already know that 's not the reality it gives you time to adjust.

Thanks ladies, it's actually hubby, not me. I know how desperately he would love a boy and we are undecided as to whether we will have a third child so I'd love him to get his boy. Females run in his family quite heavily (he is the youngest after 6 girls, with three living sisters and he has 4 aunties, no uncles on either side).

I am concerned if we find out at the scan, he will show litte interest in the rest of the pregnancy whereas if we wait, I know he will fall in love with the baby regardless of sex. I really think we're having another girl (which I'm excited about, DD will love a sister!)

This, I don't know about. I understand your concern and I would be worried that if you are right & his interest in the pregnancy drops off, you are going to suffer for it (coming from someone who had an uninterested partner a couple of itmes - it hurts.) If it were for yourself, I would say find out. For him, I am not so sure.

[Trillian]

If you feel knowing the gender would make your DH disconnect from you and the pg, then I wouldn't find out. I've been through a pg where my DH had absolutely zero interest in the pregnancy right up until the last few weeks and it hurts like you would not believe - our first pg was a surprise just after we got married and DH was not prepared for that at all as he wanted to wait a while to have a baby and when he found out I was pg he completely withdrew from me. Experiencing all the happiness and special moments that being pg brings was really hard because I had no one to share in that with me. And you really notice the lack of support as well and I think you being supported during the pg is more important at this point in time. But I think you really need to talk to him about the way he feels and find out exactly what issues he has so you can work on them because it may not change after you have the baby either.

[Ashlee]

I have a DS and a DSD, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to birth a baby girl of my own, so I will be finding out so I can adjust and accept a boy if that's what we've got. I know my sister, Kylz, was so upset when she found out her DS was a boy, but now I can't imagine him being anything else, and either can she!

DP is hell bent it's a boy, I'm pretty certain it's a girl (totally different pregnancies so far!). DP wants to leave it a suprise, but I just can't. This is my last pregnancy and I wouldn't want the "dissappointment" to happen in the delivery room, I'd rather have 20 weeks to get used to either sex.