Devon, sending you many, many right now. I know the anxiety you are feeling right now all too well.
As for my history - scan at 6 weeks with FS, OB check at nearly 9 weeks, another scan at just past 10 weeks, NT scan at just past 12 weeks, another OB check at nearly 14 weeks... 5 scans so far, and everything is fine.
When I was freaking out with my FS before my first scan, he told me that despite what had happened previously (missed miscarriage discovered just before 9 weeks), the odds were very much in our favour of having everything work out fine this time.
Also want to add... you're in 2nd trimester now, the risks have dropped. It's taken me a while to get my head around that fact, but for now I'm stubbornly refusing to let myself worry and I'm committed to being relaxed and enjoying the "boring" stage of pregnancy between the first trimester risks going away and the later pregnancy complications developing - if they develop at all. Some days the only thing keeping me there is the fact that work has me too exhausted to worry too much, but I am mostly managing it.
Hang in there! Chances are very good that all will be fine now. As the others have said, they've likely stopped the midwives doing scans because a problem was missed on a reassurance scan due to lack of proper training rather than a reassurance scan being the cause of a problem.
I agree with what others have said - you'll be fine! 14.5 weeks is a great time to be, and there's so many cases of other ladies having heaps of scans. I also have seen reference to the "scary" stuff on the internet, and deliberately avoided it (I was too scared to look). Like you, I've had a missed m/c, and made up for it this time by having lots of dramas in first tri, with a total of 5 scans in my first trimester alone (i've since had more - lost count!)! First tri scans were for spotting (6.5 wks), reassurance (8 wks), more spotting/bleeding/subch & cord cyst (9 wks), obs check (10 wks) and NT scan (12 wks). Since then we've had the morph scan at 20 wks, and little checks at obs visits. And bubs is doing absolutely fine!
I think I thought once I'd passed my missed m/c milestone, I wouldn't be scared or worried anymore. The reality is you still do worry - even women who've had no m/c's worry - it's very natural. I remember being more nervous for my 20 wk scan than I was for 12 weeks - which seemed just insane to me. I also think that in early 2nd trimester you're still mentally coming to grips with the whole "phew we made it this far" and you don't always feel the huge rush of relief that maybe you thought you would. Plus as you say, you haven't a heap of symptoms now, but you're not hugely "bump"y yet! You'll get there , and you'll have your days of worrying, but above all you're PG! And before you know it, you'll have a big wriggly bubba belly!
Also, as Dusty said, the PALLTC gang are a great crowd, come & post in there too
All the best, Belfie.
My friend had her first bub in Singapore and said that she got a scan at EVERY appointment she went to....which is a lot of scans! Obviously quite different over there to here! She was a private patient. Her bub is fine....very energetic but I wouldn't think that was caused by the scans!
Thanks so much Tennykins, AJC, BW, Belfie and Chocolatecatty. It's nice to have so much reassurance, I think it is right that some problem may have been missed by one of the midwives and that's why they've stopped the scans.
I think that you're right Belfie, it's hard for me to believe I've got this far and there's still something in the back of my head that's saying 'this can't possibly work out'. I think I keep getting disappointed in myself that I'm still not able to fully embrace it, my missed m/c was at 9 weeks and 5 days, so I'm way past that point, but part of me still feels like it's going to happen again. I lurch from worrying about one thing to worrying about another and it feels endless. I'm glad that everything is going well for you and your bubs!
BW - yes, definitely hard to get my head around being in the second trimester now. After my NT scan the sonographer said risk of miscarriage was now 1 in 500, which really should reassure me. Still, says my mind, it has to happen to someone. I really do want to get on top of this doom and gloom worry though, otherwise I think I'll regret not enjoying my pregnancy - for so long I was so desperate to be pg again, so I should be trying to enjoy it now that I am. Congratulations on reaching 16 weeks!!
I'll do a little subliminal chant for you.. hehe... You're pregnant.. you ARE pregnant... second trimester!
I remember writing some very similar posts at your stage, and these lovely experienced ladies who were 3rd trimester would post to reassure me... and I'd look at their tickers and it would just blow my mind to think someone could be 30+ weeks.. I just couldn't imagine it back then. I felt sometimes I would never make it. So you know what? Before you know it... YOU will be doing this for someone else.. and you'll be 30+ weeks and it will seem as though it will all have gone so fast!!
I think the other reality is that there is always something you can worry about... and that's the biggest challenge of all - finding a way to focus on the positive and not the what if's... because lets face it, once your bubba is born, I'm sure there will always be something new we can worry about! I remember someone told me her mantra was "right here, right now, I'm pregnant and i'm going to enjoy it!" I always thought that was such a lovely way of thinking about it. And we're not superwomen, so yup, sometimes it's easier said than done... but it doesn't hurt to try it.
And I'm just sitting here thinking about the beautiful little growing bean that you have in your belly - and it's gonna grow up and be whole big person. WOW!
And if it helps, my little bubba (you know, that one I thought wouldn't make it), well he's a little boy, and we already know we're going to call him Xander Jordan (aka Xandy-pants teheh)... the hardest thing is keeping it secret from friends & family! We just tell every stranger we meet instead! HAHA!
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you're PG! And before you know it, you'll have a big wriggly bubba belly!
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