I don't think it is neccessarily an age thing, just people talking from their experience, and whether they are willing to analyse and question their experiences (in life generally, not just regarding birth).
If people see the world mainly from one angle, and don't have the ability (or want) to expand their horizons, the advice they give will only be from this angle.
I guess i have been fortunate to have people around me who have had both home births (they would probably be called free births these days) and hospital births 30 years ago, but are genuinely interested in finding out what is available these days, and respecting the different ways we (siblings) choose to birth and raise kids, and support us in our choices.
I also love the idea of the hammock, so please let us know how it goes.
I can relate. Heaps of people told me to take the drugs, to formula feed, to have an episiotomy etc etc. And the were a couple of parenting issues where people told me I just didn't understand what it would be like and I would see how wrong I was. I felt like people thought I was so naive. But as someone said, they were just validating their own experiences.
I am happy to say I stuck to my guns, I got the birth I wanted, I breastfeed successfully and I DID know what I was talking about when it came to those parenting issues and we've done exactly what we said we would.
You are prepared. Don't doubt that. (I did).
ETA - I should say that there are times when you can't have the birth you wanted, but in my case there was nothing to stop me but my own wimpyness - so sticking to my guns was all I needed. Sometimes guns and stickiness aren't enough because of external forces.
I honestly think most ppl just want to tell there birth experience and i don't think they tell of the horror stories just to scare other ppl off they just want to be heard...if that makes sense. Everyone has a right to tell of there experience unfortunately sometimes it just isn't in the right place.
Renstar do what you think is right because that is what all of us as mothers aim to do, you will come across hurdles and you will leap across them but also don't beat yourself up when something isn't going quite right, there will be plenty of those days but the good days will always out weigh the bad ones!
Gabi - thanks hun, yep i agree. Sometimes women can do all they can to try and have a natural drug free birth but other factors out of their control occur etc..... noone is guaranteed a natural birth but if we can strive and aim for one then thats a step in the right direction! (that is of course if thats what we want, some don't) and at the end of the day, we can only do our BEST.
Danni - thanks hun. I just get annoyed by some ppl because i am generally a really positive person in life and others aren't so positive iykwim!! LOL its like they carry real chips on their shoulders just cos they didnt get the birth they want but why should others have to feel bad for that? ykwim?
Kate - there is a thread about hammocks in here somewhere with people's experiences, they are meant to be great! if i had time i could find you the link! its under baby nursery equipment section.
Sara - yeah i think too, by ppl like your Mum saying "you will have c/s too" she is just trying to validate her feelings like the others have said, and make herself feel better by saying it iykwim? She probably feels she didnt have much control or much say when she birthed her babies or perhaps she was full of fear? or perhaps she really had some medical issues that were out of her control? (i dont know the story) whereas you are the opposite, you know your options and you arent letting fear get the better of you so you can strive for the birth you so desire. all you can do is just say to your Mum "mum, i am aiming for a natural birth as that is what i so want and hopefully i can get it there is no reason to think otherwise"
Sunshine - lol thanks. That's disgusting about that GP and what they said to you. far out!!
Last edited by Shanti; December 1st, 2008 at 01:47 PM.
Ren = I can vouch for the baby hammock..... the Bear did all the research like you and decided it was the best thing. Our DD loved it from the first minute we put her in it, she has been sleeping through the night since she was 10 weeks old, we take it when we go on holidays and she doesn't get disrupted, I can put her down in it wide awake and in five minutes she is asleep - trust me you will love the baby hammock!
In retrospect I was really surprised at all the negative things that people said to me (they were always people with more than one child too what's with that? they thought it was so terrible and did it more than once?) before DD was born. Birth wasn't that bad, I was like you = thought "I'll see how I go" and just took it one contraction at a time.... I only had gas and I had augmentation, was flat on my back and on monitors the whole time. It's really not that bad. and babies are just great. They have tricky moments but they are wonderful a lot of the time. You are going to have a great birth and love being a mum - enjoy!!! On the bright side I was prepared for all these terrible things and it turned out to be great!
ah thats so cute!! She is smiling! so relaxed..... thats good how you have put a terry towelling nappy down under her, i was wondering about that i might do the same GREAT idea..
Reply With Quote
yeah i think too, by ppl like your Mum saying "you will have c/s too" she is just trying to validate her feelings like the others have said, and make herself feel better by saying it iykwim? She probably feels she didnt have much control or much say when she birthed her babies or perhaps she was full of fear? or perhaps she really had some medical issues that were out of her control? (i dont know the story) whereas you are the opposite, you know your options and you arent letting fear get the better of you so you can strive for the birth you so desire. all you can do is just say to your Mum "mum, i am aiming for a natural birth as that is what i so want and hopefully i can get it there is no reason to think otherwise"
what's with that? they thought it was so terrible and did it more than once?) before DD was born. Birth wasn't that bad, I was like you = thought "I'll see how I go" and just took it one contraction at a time.... I only had gas and I had augmentation, was flat on my back and on monitors the whole time. It's really not that bad. and babies are just great. They have tricky moments but they are wonderful a lot of the time. You are going to have a great birth and love being a mum - enjoy!!! 
On the bright side I was prepared for all these terrible things and it turned out to be great! 
they look soooo comfy.
Bookmarks