i want to know but i dont

[Taurean]

From your last post, I personally think knowing the sex soon will help you guys although it will be bloody hard regardless of the sex. I think being able to give the baby a name will bring it to life, IYKWIM, and quite possibly allow you to start referring to the nursery and the nursery goods as it's room and stuff.

Can you afford new bedding and accessories for the new baby? Maybe it would help to put Jack's away, when you're ready of course, and keep it special, always his. The fresh accessories in the nursery may help to make it the new baby's room. I hope that makes sense, I'm obviously not speaking from experience but I know I want this baby to have it's own 'stuff' and be able to put it's stamp on the nursery even if it is another DD for us. KWIM?

[littlelara]

I think finding out will help you to fall in love with this new baby, and if it's a boy, knowing its name will help your dd identify this as a new sibling.
Whichever you decide, big hugs.

[My Three Sons]

Oh hun, I think your idea of having a look is nice, maybe then like tashy said get the sonographer to write it down in a card and then when you are absolutely ready, maybe at home in the nursery you can open it and then announce that the room will be for........

Hugs for your DD1 too, she sounds like such a beautiful thinker.

I think this is a gorgeous idea. This way you are able to process the information yourself, without feeling watch and judged by your reaction. I know when i found out DS3 was a boy, i was feeling very aware of everyone watching my reaction- knowing that i desperately wanted a girl. It sounds nice to be able to have a moment for yourself, maybe with DF to just process your own thoughts about little bear cub and it is now his or her room.

[Lily Dust]

Honey, I think either way it will be so hard, confusing and difficult for you guys. If its a girl then its not what you 'hoped' for, if its a boy, he isnt Jack iykwim I agree with the writting it down and reading it when you are ready, when you can be out of view of everyone else and their judgements. Whatever the result, sweetpea, we are here for you. Just wish I could come hold your hand

It musr be very confusing for Miss C, its confusing enough for an adult to process

ETA: Like others said by being able to name your Bear Cub it might help DD1 to understand.

[buffy1]

Hi lovely Skye - so sorry you're feeling conflicted about finding out. I can't begin to understand what it must be like, but just wanted to offer love and support for whatever choice you make. The ideas of guessing during the ultrasound or asking the tech to write it down for you so you can think on sound like they might be good options.

Sending massive hugs.

[Ginger]

aww Skye it's so hard. sorry you have to go through this
fwiw, i would probably find out.

[indie24]

[Rach75]

when Ii was pregnant with Jack I needed to know it was hard to explain why part of me wanted another girl but another part of me was too scared that she would replace Katy...so I found out but Jase left the room..so it was only me who knew ...

I think in your case I would find out then the nursery would be baby ?? and not Jacks room, I still find myself looking at my Jacks bedroom we had picked the colors etc and were due to start painting when our Katy was stillborn, even the pram I bought while pregnant with her even though both boys have used it it is still Katy's pram and I am having trouble gaining courage to sell as its Katy's if that makes sense...

maybe finding out would be away for you all to move forward ((GBH)) in whatever your decision may be

[beansbeans!]

I honestly dont know what I would do in your shoes, but whatver decision you come to I am sure will be the right one.