Have a chat with your CMHN, there are usually services avaiable to Dads and Men.... these are usually run by the council, not sure if they specifialy target pregnancy, but i know there are heaps of services out there.
The other thing is to talk to your GP... he may need a couple of sessions with a psychologist, if he has a 'mental health plan' with the GP these sessions are pretty much free or very low cost. A good way of finding the root of the problem and also providing your DH with some coping stratigies....
FJ I think that a session with a psychologist wouldn't do him any harm. I know he works hard and it may be difficult for him to find the time but I think if he is already anxious about this bub then it may be significantly worse by the time it gets closer to the birth.
Coping with his anxiety must be hard on you some times and maybe suggesting to him that if he goes and talks to someone about it then life may be a little bit easier for everyone, but mainly focussing on how wonderful you want this to be and how you want him to be excited about the bub.
You are so right - anxiety is not easy to deal with precisely because it doesn't follow the rules of logic! It will not matter one bit that this is baby number 4. I agree with the others who have replied, some CBT sounds like a good idea and a GP can refer him to a medicare registered psychologist in your area. I notice you are in the Blue Mountains - there used to be some type of mens centre at Wentworth Falls - it was upstairs and fronted onto the GWH. Not sure if it is stil there but perhaps if you are in the upper mountains it might be worth checking out.
If your DH resists going to see someone there are some great self help books out there with self paced treatment strategies that are written for 'clients' in everyday language. I think encouraging him to meditate again and take time out each day to relax is also a good idea.
Goodluck!
ETA - Its called the Blue Mountains Centre for Men and does counselling and psychotherapy. (Not sure what theoretical stance they take though).
Last edited by ~Kaz~; June 6th, 2008 at 10:10 AM.
: adding details
FJ - I totally agree that seeing a psychologist can help immensely! It made a huge difference to my anxiety levels after DS was born. If he hasn't tried it before, I think it's definitely worth a shot. I wish I'd started during my prg, things probably wouldn't have gotten to the point they did if I got on top of it earlier.
Get a referral from your GP, as Sammiejane said, on the mental health care scheme you can claim a fair bit of the cost back from medicare.
I can recommend a fantastic clinical psychologist in Penrith if you need it (male too if that makes DH feel a bit better). PM me if you're interested, although it might be a bit far for him to travel.
Last edited by Willow; June 6th, 2008 at 10:23 AM.
Dh has seen a psychologist before. It was however a good 10 years ago. This was when he first learnt of his disorder as it had gotten so out of hand it was ruling his life. But once he had it recognised & got help with dealing with it, he realised he had been suffering all his life, his earliest memory of an anxiety attack was when he was only 8 yrs old. It runs in his family also but was only discussed when DH told his parents about his suffering. Then it comes out that his Dad is the same, so his uncle & the list goes on! Unfortantly we are also seeing the signs in Evan already but are confident he wont suffer like DH did as we will help him & not push it aside like DH's family did. But anyway thats another post!
I think he will benefit from speaking with someone again. He got a lot from it the first time he had sessions 10yrs ago. Back then our hurdle was paying for it, now its finding the time. He works 6 days a week. But I think he needs to put himself first a little & arrange times he can leave early or start late etc.
Its the pregnancy at the moment because thats an easy thing for the anxiety to play on. But if I wasn't pregnant it would be something else. He & I could both see it starting again before I was pregnant.
It isn't ruling his life yet but I think its heading that way. I know he is run down with work but over the last week or so, he seems a little depressed also. Like yesterday when I called to tell him the sex of the baby, he sort of just said "Oh ok" . when I asked why the not so excited reply he just said he didn't know what I was on about. I know he is tired & tired of riding in the wet to work. His job is a little dull at the moment so I know his days a pretty boreing also.
hmmm I know the pregnancy isn't the cause of this. I also know if we get his focus off the pregnancy the anxiety will just pick something else.
hmmmm i think I will need to have a good chat with im tonight.
eta - cognitive behavioural therapy I'm prettue sure he has done this back when when he first got help... I will ask him
Last edited by *Efjay*; June 6th, 2008 at 12:06 PM.
Just coming from an anxiety disorder background, I have discovered something that I think I've been looking for for the last 17 years (since my anxiety started). A keneisiologist. I haven't had sessions yet but the Dr is sure she can help me. My daughter is also seeing her for allergies, but the connection that she deals with between mind and body is truly amazing and I can't wait to begin.
I know how frustrating anxiety is and those thoughts that are ridiculous but you just can't keep them away. Maybe if you see if there's a keneisiologist in your area.
Good luck,xoxo
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but are confident he wont suffer like DH did as we will help him & not push it aside like DH's family did. But anyway thats another post!
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