Tara - I'm sure a couple of people on here have found out the gender of their baby earlier than that? But I guess it does depend on the view of the baby.
Why are you paying for your scans?
Do they have some kind of short-term day care centre where you are going? I know most hospitals have a place where you can take kids to be looked after while you are at your appointment... but I guess that's not an option if you aren't going to the hospital.
I'd really speak to your Dr. about all these issues. Maybe there's something he/she can organise?