Hi Jellybean, just wanted to post and say you are not alone. I too had PND and some days I am worried it is coming back even before my baby is born. But I would say it is pretty "normal" to feel some anxiety about what the future holds, particularly if you have had hurdles to get over before. Could you possibly see a psychologist in lieu of being on meds to talk through your concerns?
Lots of hugs, and I hope today is a good day for you.