I am just over 32wks and up until now have been quite comfortable with my PG and dealing with DD, everyone says i make it look so EASY.
I keep getting the normal questions about how i think i will cope with DD and Zara (trying to make it stick) once she's here, i have no false vision that it's going to be easy.
I know it's going to be hard, tiring and probably stressful.
But more and more now i am getting the questions about whether or not i think i will cope well during labour, i have told people i am not scared of the 'physical' pain as i really don't remember much with DD's birth but i am more worried my little girl will come too quick and cause other complications.
People just say "oh really, your not at all scared of the pain, i suppose after DD's birth you will prob find this EASY"
One girl at MG told me how EASY i had it when i had DD as i managed well without drugs and can't remember the pain, i just want to scream:
I WAS ALONE ON A BATHROOM FLOOR WITH FEET HANGING OUT OF ME I DIDN'T HAVE MUCH CHOICE!
These aren't the only EASY comments getting to me, DD is generally very well behaved, mostly smiling unless sick and has slept through since quite young (well most of the time, not so much a couple of weeks back).
I don't tend to complain to SIL or MG when she doesn't sleep through, theres not much point as we all go through it BUT again a girl at MG said it will be so easy for you as DD is such an EASY baby and you NEVER have problems with her..... umm no i just don't complain about them.
SIL told me she hopes Zara (they don't know the name... lol) is a pain in the butt as i have it so EASY with DD and then i will know what it's really like. yep she said it to my face!
WTF it's not MY fault her 5yr old still wakes over night, it's not MY fault her 3yr old only grunts at people and still wakes over night.
Ok so i don't complain about DD but it doesn't mean she's perfect and she's far from it, she has a right little attitude and can be VERY sooky and i had about 2mths of her waking 3times a night and about 2wks of her ending up in my bed.
Do i need to go places and whinge like nothing just so ppl think i have a normal child.
It's not EASY for anyone and we all have our challenges, why is it a competition?
Sorry i needed to get that off my chest, if i don't now i will SCREAM and as i get closer these comments are just coming more frequently.
I got that a lot from my c/s from women that had vaginal births. Supposedly its such a easy birth in comparision to a 'real' birth Ignore them, they are just trying to compete.
You poor thing, i would choose a 'normal' birth over a c/s any day, it's by no means the easy option!
Were lucky in our MG we have quite a great bunch of girls and a couple had emergency c/s and we all agree they had it much worse off than us!
We all deal with pain and labour in a different way, just because you go without pain relief or because you choose a c/s etc doesn't mean it was EASY or even an EASY choice.
I am trying to ignore but finding it VERY difficult especially from SIL and her wanting us to have a horrid child, it's really getting on my nerves.
I think it all comes down to your parenting, if i am relaxed and calm about it then hopefully my baby will be the same (chances are i wont get lucky twice though ), i can only do my best and it's all in my perception of my baby!
Honestly, I would just say straight up to the ones who go on about how 'easy' Ava's birth was that delivering your first baby breech and on the bathroom floor all alone was pretty freaking scary - ask them to imagine how they might have felt being alone and having their baby's feet hanging out of them. Say you are hoping for a little more support around you this time around.
What a stupid comment from your SIL I would just respond with saying that you just hope she is her own person and you will love her no matter what she is like.
Don't worry about it, easier said than done!!!! They are jealous and it does seem easy to them compared to the lot they have been dealt.
I have people saying to me all the time how easy I make having 4 kids and 1 on the way look, like you say its jsut how we go about it, but at the same time I see other people who I admire and I want to tell them, I kind of see it as a compliment??? I stuggle in the labour birth dept, long labours, back pain, ending in CS except 1 baby, so anyone who has a quick birth makes it look easy to me!!! See what I mean, it really is how we percieve things I say take it as a compliment, it will make you feel better, them being jealous or having false ideas on what it is really like walking in someone else shoes, is their issue.
I got those comments too, that my first was easy and I didn't know what motherhood really was. Apparently I was in for a shock. I try not to complain too. As a way of encouraging you, my second seems fairly easy too, so don't worry about what people say. They will poison themselves with their bitterness unfortunately, but don't you buy into it! Of course it's not all smiles and pancakes, but I think it's really positive to focus on the good stuff.
As for easy. Well. Perhaps it will be easier than some. I'd say that will have less to do with your last birth though, and more to do with your education and support. I'm not sure you can compare. I had an 11 hour labour and a 50 minute labour and neither seemed particularly easy at the time. They both had their pros can cons, but as with all things in life, you get through the best way you know how.
i think people think quick is easy - what a crock! a quick and intense (and, in your case, damn scary) labour and birth can be just as hard, if not harder, than a longer, less intense one. i think there is a degree of envy in that you didn't labour as long and you did manage to give birth without pain killers etc - but as you say, you had no choice. you don't remember the pain, which most women eventually forget (to a degree) - otherwise we'd not have more than one - but for you, given how ultimately traumatic your birth was, it's probably a coping mechanism. remember the facts, not the pain! you've been able to relive the experience with the 000 call (minus the pain) so that has probably helped a lot too
as to easy kids. pffffft. they all have good and bad days. sometimes (often i think) it comes down to how you choose to handle those bad days. you can dwell on them, whinge away, and make them the essence of your kidlets childhood - or you can see past the bad days, focus on the good bits of those days, and keep going on. i try not to dwell on the bad bits - when i talk about DD i brush over the bits that aren't great (like the two day long whinge fest when her teeth were hurting) and share the positive bits. i guess it really is about how you embrace it
When Z arrives, you'll have a mix of good and bad days. it will be an adjustment and you'll make it work. dont feel like you have to complain about the hard times so that you seem 'normal' - it's ok to admit that A is struggling with her new little sister - but, if i know you, you'll be more likely to share those cute moments - where A has cuddled her sister or offered her food etc. they're the memories you want to treasure, not the tandem whinge sessions lol
Nai - you know whats funny my SIL calls me stubborn as i refuse to give DD nurofen etc if she is sooky, she told me she knows where DD gets her stubbornness from, i told her i can only hope my daughter is as 'strong willed' as me when she's older.
She said you call it strong willed i call it stubborn!
Hmm jealous much?
blackduckies - your right it's definitely a perception thing and i know it may SEEM easy to other people but my god sometimes i think i would take a 14hr labour over that experience.
Your right though i should take their jealousy over DD as a compliment as to how well i DP and i have done with her... their *****iness etc is their issue.
I just wish they stuck to the 'if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all'!
Nelle - thanks for reassuring me, i know Zara is going to be an angel... well i can hope. hehe but you've scared me now... a 10hr labour then a 50min labour... i wont have long to get to hosp, thats the length of the drive for me...
I know it's not the same for everyone.. just kidding.. Ava was 9hrs total from 1st regular contractions so lets hope Zara gives me ATLEAST and Hr so i can get to hosp on time.
Anyone live near the mercy that wants to put me up
BG - god i love you hun... you make me laugh and you know me too well.
You can already imagine my FB status updates can't you... Ava the pig tried to feed Zara xyz... blah blah blah... or Ava tried to cuddle Zara and nearly squished her... or i'm sure it will be.. Ava thought Zara might like a ride on her bike... hehehehe
Over being told it will be 'EASY' for me!
yep she said it to my face!
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Ignore them, they are just trying to compete.
), i can only do my best and it's all in my perception of my baby!
I got those comments too, that my first was easy and I didn't know what motherhood really was. Apparently I was in for a shock. 
I try not to complain too. As a way of encouraging you, my second seems fairly easy too, so don't worry about what people say. They will poison themselves with their bitterness unfortunately, but don't you buy into it! Of course it's not all smiles and pancakes, but I think it's really positive to focus on the good stuff.
well i can hope. hehe but you've scared me now... a 10hr labour then a 50min labour... 
i wont have long to get to hosp, thats the length of the drive for me... 
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