Honestly, I would just say straight up to the ones who go on about how 'easy' Ava's birth was that delivering your first baby breech and on the bathroom floor all alone was pretty freaking scary - ask them to imagine how they might have felt being alone and having their baby's feet hanging out of them. Say you are hoping for a little more support around you this time around.

What a stupid comment from your SIL I would just respond with saying that you just hope she is her own person and you will love her no matter what she is like.