thread: Sex During Pregnancy

  1. #1
    davvie Guest

    Sex During Pregnancy

    Hi All

    Just wanted to see if anyone was experiencing a lack of action during their pregnancy? Our sex life has been very sparse since the 17wk mark. My husband is finding it difficult to get past the idea that there is a baby inside of me and he feels funny about intercourse.

    Especially now that I am showing, and that we are having a little girl, he is having some issues.

    Its very upsetting as I miss our intimacy.


  2. #2
    davvie Guest

    BTW, I am 25wks pregnant . . ..

  3. #3
    Resident Samsquanch

    Jan 2005
    Down by the ocean
    6,110

    Hi Davvie

    This was never an issue for us (luckily) but from about 30 weeks I was either too tired or uncomfortable or DH was too tired from work etc. So we had quite a long drought!

  4. #4
    BellyBelly Member

    Aug 2004
    Adelaide
    238

    Hi Davvie, I am at about 18 weeks, and I haven't found this to be a problem... *I* am much more conscious of it than DH, which I think has had an effect (although not too bad). We don't know the sex yet though, so maybe this will change things? I am also finding tiredness to be an issue...

  5. #5
    Life Member

    May 2003
    Beautiful Adelaide!
    2,877

    My SIL and I were only talking about this the other night..........it is tricky, because even if you seem to have well matched sex drives before pregnancy, through the duration of a pregnancy, it seems that one of you is always gagging for it whilst the other is not, for all sorts of reasons!

    For DH and I, by this stage (7 months) is is just too much of an effort (ie the mind is willing but the body is not) and I just can't be bothered, as much as I would like to.

    But don't forget that the intimacy can be replaced with lots more cuddles: DH loves to have his back scratched, and whilst I am sure it is not as good as sex, it is a make do replacement!

  6. #6
    davvie Guest

    Thanks for the feedback ladies.

    Im sure within the next 5wks I will be too big to be bothered with sex myself and you are right Lucy cuddles are wonderful . .. I think I might draw us a nice hot bath with lots of essential oils and candles tonight after work!

    I just never thought that DH would ever not want sex!! Especially because he keeps thinking of his little girl inside me, Ive explained that the baby is not affected and we cant hurt her . . . . this was a definite unforseen problem.

    I miss being looked at as a sex object by him I guess, now I just feel like he sees me as this holy maternal figure that is to not be touched . . ..

  7. #7
    Life Member

    May 2003
    Beautiful Adelaide!
    2,877

    I know what you mean about the "sex object" being replaced by a "mummy".

    It does, hopefully come back though!!

    Once Olivia was about 3 months old, DH and I started having the best sex ever, so I think we went through a dry patch to get to even better intimacies!!

  8. #8
    davvie Guest

    Once bubs is born, Ill be the one not intersted and DH will be begging for it!! hehehhehe. . ...

    Its just so weird going from full on actively sexual to not, but its all good, bubs is totally worth it and i cant wait for our little family to sprout!

    Thanks for the positive comments Lucy, feeling much better

  9. #9
    Kirsty77 Guest

    You girls are making me feel bad, Dh wants it all the time and I'm still looking for where I left my sex drive!I honestly hardly ever feel like it!!And now that I'm getting quite large its either uncomfortable or I'm asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow! :sleeping: Its funny because we had such an active sex life before.............

  10. #10
    Melody Guest

    Ladies, I am having the same dilemmas.

    DH just cant see me sexually at the moment. Truthfully I am not exactly an animal myself but I REALLY miss the intimacy of it. We are extremely affectionate toward each other & always have been. I am spoilt for cuddles & snuggles but I guess it adds to my self esteem issues & doubt to have such a dramatic halt to proceedings.

    I am quite big & I thnk he sees me as a fragile/mummy being rather than a sex kitten.

    I am just hoping that we will bounce back to normal once this all important transition takes place.

  11. #11
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Oct 2003
    Forestville NSW
    8,944

    kirsty...don't worry I lost it all together during PG.... I had to search for it and even then couldn't find it LOL

    now...where did I place that sex drive???

  12. #12
    kriscee Guest

    My sex drive disappeared pretty much from day one of pregnancy (much to hubbies disgust) and I'm only just now (Adam is 3 months old now)starting to get itchy feet for it!

  13. #13
    BellyBelly Member

    May 2005
    Canberra
    3,617

    i'm only five weeks and my sex drive is completely gone! i cann't stand DH touching me, i feel too nauseous and my boobs are aching - particular when i get too cold. poor DH, he got two weeks of non stop sex when we were trying, and now i won't let him near me!

  14. #14
    Kirsty77 Guest

    Oh Misty.........I know exactly how you feel...thats when my sex drive mysteriously vanished.I had nausea and really sore boobs for first 16 weeks, then from 16-18 had a good run 8-[ then now I'm uncomfortable, have a sore back, sore hips and my sex drive is still nowhere to be found!While we were trying we were like teenagers \/ ......hmmm theres always after bubs born and we're trying for number two!!!

  15. #15
    BellyBelly Member

    Sep 2004
    Adelaide
    563

    Yes yes yes, I know exactly! For the past few months DH doesn't seem to see me sexually anymore. There's no lack of compassion or affection, i guess i'm just not looking much like the sexy girl he had before!! For a while i was really missing the intimacy and i tried all sorts, but it's not the same if he is just doing it 'for me' - i miss him wanting me! But to tell you the truth, at 35 weeks now, i'm over it!! I don't think i'd have the energy to make it worth it now anyway. so i haven't mentioned it for a while. And actually, although we aren't exactly swinging from the ceiling with passion at the moment, I feel so close to DH lately. Closer than I ever have before. The love seems to have just reached a deeper level as we wait to meet our first child. And that love is more satisfying than the sex object thing i enjoyed so much! I'm sure the sex drives will return in time, but i hope it never replaces the closeness we are experiencing now.

  16. #16
    Hope2006 Guest

    Hi girls... does anyone have any thoughts on sex during first trimester? I have had two m/c's and i have heard that in some women sex can cause a m/c. Is there any truth to this? Any advice appreciated!

    Shazz xo.

  17. #17
    BellyBelly Member

    Oct 2004
    Caroline Springs,Melbourne
    1,531

    I cant say that we arent having any sex but we certainly arent havng it as frequently as we used to.
    We are generally doing it twice a week which is fine with me.
    I hope this continues for the next 20 or so weeks.