I am so sorry to read this. Losing a baby is hideous no matter how long you have been TTC. The pain is as if it is impossible to survive through it. Reach out to your friend - yes she has "closer" friends - but you are such a compassionate and kind Woman - I am sure she will welcome your support.
As someone else said "close" friends can say the most insensitive things sometimes...
Sadly at 22 weeks it would be incredibly unlikely for this baby to survive - I am lighting a candle after this post, saying some prayers and hoping that your friend has kind arms to hold her.
Fly safely tiny Angel - keep your Mama warm with your presence...
I think maybe you would find that she might need you more than she needs her close friends, as you said you know her through LTTTC. Her friends won't know her pain in this situation like you can. They will try to comfort and make things better, but perhaps all she will want is for someone exactly like you to say "this sucks" and nothing more jsut someone to sit in silence with.
At least if you pop in you will know whether you are in the right place, she will let you know when you see her exactly how long you should be there.
Sending her big prayers.
Last edited by Nelle; December 2nd, 2009 at 03:25 PM.
: editing out sig with ticker, please remember the guidelines for this area. xo
Thanks for all your messages of support ladies, it means so much
The hospital initially said they would not attempt to keep the baby alive as it is younger than 23 weeks; however, they've been monitoring him and he's really healthy and kicking around happily, which is great but also really upsetting as it means its her body failing, not the pregnancy Now the hospital are saying that if he breathes on his own when he is born, they will attempt to keep him alive, but my friends have made the decision not to allow that, as they feel it will only cause unnecessary suffering for bub. Our religious beliefs give us a strong hope for a new future, so they don't want to cause their baby unnecessary pain.
My heart breaks for them, having to make that decision. I have stayed away from the hospital today, as I felt she was being crowded by everyone else there, her family and his family and their other friends. I will wait until she is at home and then go up there and bring her some meals and hopefully we can have some one on one time, and she'll feel comfortable enough for an emotional release. It all sounds very cut and dried when I type that, it's what I'm hoping will happen, but even if I go and she wants to talk about nothing for a few hours, I'll do that too.
It's just so unfair, no-one should EVER have to make that decision
GUESS WHAT!! All of her contractions have stopped, and her waters have also stopped leaking but there still appears to be fluid around the baby, so the doctors are hoping she may have just had a hind leak. So things are fine at the moment, touch and go, but looking hopeful. She's even been moved out of the delivery ward, that's gotta be good!
Keep those prayers up ladies, they're obviously working!!
Hey sunflower - just stumbled on your thread now.
It's amazing what the power of prayer/healing thoughts (whatever your belief system may be) - sounds like your friend has lots of supportive people out there send heaps of stickiness to her baby. Don't underestimate the value of your physical support either - like lots of others have said, just because you're not her 'close' friend doesn't mean she wont value your being there for her as obviously you understand where she is coming from.
I'm sure more ladies in here will be happy to send sticky/healing vibes out to your friend to keep her pregnancy going long enough for a happy outcome.... (I'll add myself to that list!)
Last edited by Inanna; December 3rd, 2009 at 10:31 PM.
: inappropriate signature for this forum-warning given
Oh my goodness, I was not expecting to see some happy news when I opened this thread this morning, now I have happy tears streaming down my face as there's still hope for this beautiful mummy and her precious bubba. I am hoping and praying as much as humanly possible that bubba can hang on for a bit longer!
Please keep us updated.
Absolutely fantastic start to the morning!!
I am praying your friends bubba stays put for as long as possible. I have nursed more then one woman who has ruptured their membranes and been in treatened premature labour as early as 16weeks and gone onto deliver at a much greater gestation. One even was induced at 42weeks. There is lots of hope from us all and prayers her bubba grows big and strong before coming into the world.
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(I'll add myself to that list!)
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