OK, I am really annoyed and upset now.

Last Tues I had a big bleed. Scan on Tues afternoon showed bub alive. Scan with Ob on Thurs showed bub apparently fine. I told Ob I had been on bed rest since the bleeding began. He said this was 'ridiculous' and to go and live my life, just don't 'run any marathons'.

So yesterday, feeling fine and having had no bleeding or spotting for almost a week, I went out with DS and my dad. We walked to the train station, caught a train, walked a bit, rested for an hour or so, walked back to the station, caught the train again and then walked home. It was prob 3km of walking, but it was broken up with lots of sitting down.

Yesterday afternoon I got some light brown spotting. It's still there today, just very light brown mixed with CM.

I am quite anxious and worried about it, so I called Obs rooms. My Ob is on holiday (always on bl**dy holiday), midwife said she would ask his partner and get back to me.

So she just called me back and basically told me off for walking yesterday. Obs partner will scan me on Thurs, she said he's not particularly concerned but that I should be on bed rest, that I can only get up to go to the toilet. She said that I am not to go on 'any more 3km walks' and that I should 'behave myself'.

I am fricking outraged and very upset. How on earth am I supposed to reconcile the two completely opposite pieces of advice from the two Obs? I feel so patronised and almost like they're suggesting that it's my fault if anything goes wrong. How am I supposed to be on essentially complete bed rest with a toddler to look after? I didn't head off on a 3km power walk, I caught a train and walked to and from two stations. I feel that I've really been treated unjustly by them.

I am so sick of this pregnancy, the stress and anxiety is overwhelming. I was so traumatised by my miscarriage that I just feel I do not have the resources to cope with this pregnancy, let alone enjoy it. I either want it to work out, or be over now. The longer it goes on the more I feel I'm going to lose it. Everyone is telling me what to do, how can I do the 'right' thing if all the advice is conflicting?

Anyway, just needed to get that out. I think I will have words with my Ob about it when he eventually returns from whatever luxury overseas destination he is at. I will tell Obs partner on Thurs that Ob told me that I shouldn't be on bed rest and that I should live my life, so that's why I went out yesterday.

*sigh*

HB
xxxx