Thinking I would prefer a C/S to an episiotomy

[Yeddi]

I had a very good c-section for my first, I healed well, it wasn't very painful at all It was a pre-labour emergency c-section because of lack of movement but bub was 9's despite having some cord issues. I didn't have to suffer through contractions and I was up and walking around within 12 hours.

With my second I had a VBAC. It was 36 hours of labour plus 1.5 hours of pushing. I tore in three places - front, back and on the cervix, I haemorrhaged and needed a catheter for three days post birth because the tear was up near my urethra. For a good week I to hobble around with a purple and swollen vagina. It was uncomfortable and going to the toilet was a little scary and painful at first. It took me about 2 weeks before I no longer was aware of something going on down there. We didn't DTD until about 3 months post birth and it was a little uncomfortable at first until the skin stretched.

However, if you asked me which one I preferred, I would go with the tearing or even an episiotomy EVERY time because it's not just about the scars but everything else. I feel SO different this time around. My child's health is different this time around. Since having my c-section I've had issues with thrush and UTI's that were never an issue before. I found I got the lovely elephant ear of skin that hangs across the scar site and doesn't go away no matter how much I exercise. I had to go on medication in order to breast feed and had constant supply issues after a c-section where with this one I shoot milk across the room if I'm not careful. The mode of birth isn't just about scars but you and your babies hormone production, babies immune system coping the good bacteria from coming out of your vagina, the wringing effect on their lungs. There's a lot more to consider.

BTW I have found DTD after a VB amazing! I never had an issue with O beforehand but after, OMG - so much quicker and powerful afterwards, much easier to go multiple times too. Sex is such a relative thing, and I think the idea that tearing etc. during a VB will ALWAYS have a negative effect on your sex life is just as relative. For me was it obviously not true.