I had Oscar at 5pm on a Friday night. We had our parents waiting to come into our room before I was even in it!! As I was brought up from recovery I thought DH's Mum was about to jump on the bed to see our new bubba. Once I got settled and all my stuff was in my room I allowed my Mum to come in while they dressed Oscar and fixed me up a bit. However, DH's family who we don't get along with all the well really ruined our first night by trying to take Oscar off whoever had him.
Sorry for the ramble BUT it really is up to you hun. Make it very clear that you will let people know when YOU are ready for visitors, not when they are ready. Those first few hours are so important and special hun. There will be plenty of time for people to visit you and bubs. If you tell people that you don't want visitors until you are ready they should respect your decision and at least the ball will be in your court hun. You might decided you both want to share your bubba straight away but it's best to leave your options open iykwim?!
i had a few visitors at the hospital. it wasnt too bad cause they have to leave during certain rest times. when i got home though i told everyone that i wanted a day and night to ourselves just the three of us.
That's exactly what I thought, if we tell people to wait to be invited, then they know our wishes and if we decide that we want people there straight away we can do that also.
I could think of nothing worse than having family waiting outside, I want to establish breastfeeding ect and just get our heads around our new arrival.
I forgot to add.. you will all be exhausted too!! I know that I was nearly falling asleep when everyone was in my room not even 2 hours after I gave birth!!
Another way to delay people coming to hospital is to wait to tell them that you've had bubs. So if you don't want them there until the next day, don't call them until the next day maybe. Although you and DH have to be on the same page with this. I thought my DP & I were ie thought we'd agreed to tell my parents & his Mum first, then our siblings, but he called his brother who came straight away, while I was still in recovery, before my parents arrived. Which kind of p'd me off, as I wanted my mum & dad to be the first. Although I am over it now
Also, the midwives at my hospital were great, they were very happy to police the visiting situation for me if required, so that they were the bad guys not me.
I would definitely do things differently next time!
We had a whole troupe of visitors (uninvited!) come through on the day my DD was born. we were both exhausted trying to establish feeding and recover from the labour and it was just arduous. my DH was so excited though and kept telling people that it was ok.
He even brought his best mate in only 3 hours after DD was born!! i was so not impressed!
Next time around i would have a very firm 24 hour policy.
Another thing that i found tricky was that people would stay the whole visiting time. it was very tiring and we found that there wasnt that much time for our family to get to know bubs one on one IYKWIM.
There is plenty of time for people to visit you once you are out of hospital. it is a much more welcome time as well as in those first weeks you might be lucky enough to have your DP or DH around to help manage the visitors.
Good luck with everything! your ticker is on the fast track to 40 weeks now!
I had Izzy at 935 - by C/S and the IL's and my parents knew right away so as I was being wheeled back from recovery with Izzy they were all there! Far out - I would change that for sure. It would be nice to have 5 mins to get myself sorted and be with my baby after the shock of a c/s and all, but that's life. We didn't have too many visitors the first day even though it was a Saturday - probably because I had a c/s and then on the Sunday I had a full house! I didn't really mind though, I just rested and chatted quietly to them all.
My hospital has very strict visiting hours this time around (different place) and even family won't be able to just waltz in thank goodness, so we can have some time after bubs is born.... My mum and dad will have Izzy though so I would imagine they would come in pretty early with her so we can all say hello to this little man as a family.
It really is up to you and although now you might feel like you would like visitors (or not) you might change your mind. I would recommend that the first few hours at least are yours alone so you can have some lovely snuggles, breastfeed and just stare for a while before everyone wants a cuddle!
Lucky for me I had a quick labour at night, we got to the hosy aroun 9:50-9:30, bubs was born at 10:37pm, and our families were in the country, so we didn't have visitors to the next day and we said they could only come during visiting hours from 1pm. Bub was in SCBU and you can't visit there between 1-2pm,. but as I was by myself and not with bubs, the visitors were good.
I found it hard when I transferred hospitals to the private one I was supposed to birth in cos bubs was in the room with me and everyone just wanted to help, and then the day after getting out there I had about 10 people and they were all very excited and all wanted to hold bubs and it was too much for me!! I was still getting used to having her with me and I didn't have control of the situation and DH didn't realise until later the effect it had on me. So he had to teel them to back off a bit, always getting messages asking how I was feeling how bubs was doing etc, and I was just trying to focus on bubs, establishing feeding, she was still being gavage fed, so expressing a lot as well, was a very difficult time!
It will come down to how you feel at the time, the MW's are always happy to tell people to go away , make sure you and your DH are on the same page, and take control of the situation enjoy those first few hours to yourselves, you only get them once!!
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, make sure you and your DH are on the same page, and take control of the situation enjoy those first few hours to yourselves, you only get them once!!
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