What to ask at my hospital appointment

[TeniBear]

I'm off to a hospital appointment next week, at 15 1/2 weeks, and I'm making a list of questions I'm planning to ask, compiled from a few sites I've come across and my own feelings/worries. Anyone have more I can add to this? Feel free to take my list and use it, critique, etc...

• About my Prenatal Care
• When can I take a tour of the facility?
• How long overdue will you allow me to go before inducing me?
• If I am not happy with my care, how do I go about changing hospitals?
  
  About the Birth/Labour
• Do you support my choices in my birth preferences?
• If no, which are okay and which aren?t?
• When a mother arrives in labour what standard procedures are done?
• Do you have a squat bar or birthing chair?
• Do you have facilities for waterbirth, or warm water as pain relief?
• Is there a place for my husband to lie down or sleep somewhere during labor if he wants to?
• Are there ?time limits? on labour, as in some hospitals?
• Do you allow food and drink during labour?
• Do I have a choice of positions? What labouring positions are recommended?
• Is there a limit of how many people are allowed in the room?
• What is the policy if my baby is breech? Will you wait for him/her to turn around on his/her own?
  
  About my Post-birth Care/Stay
• How long do women usually stay in the hospital after birth?
• Is there a minimum/maximum?
• Can my husband spend the night in my room if he wishes to?
• When can family and guests visit me?
• Can immediate family (husband, my parents and siblings) visit out-of-hours?
• Is there an age limit on visitors?
• Can I breastfeed immediately after birth?
• If I end up needing a Caesarean and nothing is wrong afterwards, will the baby be placed with me while things are being "finished off"?
• Will the baby be staying with me all the time?
• Will I be sharing a room with another mother?
• How do you decide who shares with whom?

[~Gee_Whizzy~]

Hi TB

looks like a great list! - which hospital are you going to?

[TeniBear]

The Northern in Melb.
I sent off my forms and whatnot to the Mercy, but rather than get back to me, they seem to have passed it back to the Northern. I'm a bit annoyed at that, hence the sneaky question about "how do i change hospitals?" lol

[~Gee_Whizzy~]

The Northern in Melb.
I sent off my forms and whatnot to the Mercy, but rather than get back to me, they seem to have passed it back to the Northern. I'm a bit annoyed at that, hence the sneaky question about "how do i change hospitals?" lol

LOL...ahh i was wondering about that question!!

[LimeSlice]

I'm off to a hospital appointment next week, at 15 1/2 weeks, and I'm making a list of questions I'm planning to ask, compiled from a few sites I've come across and my own feelings/worries. Anyone have more I can add to this? Feel free to take my list and use it, critique, etc...

• About my Prenatal Care
• When can I take a tour of the facility?
• How long overdue will you allow me to go before inducing me?
  Don't ask them - tell them how you want to give birth if you go over.
• If I am not happy with my care, how do I go about changing hospitals?
  
  About the Birth/Labour
• Do you support my choices in my birth preferences?
• If no, which are okay and which aren?t?
• When a mother arrives in labour what standard procedures are done?
• Do you have a squat bar or birthing chair?
• Do you have facilities for waterbirth, or warm water as pain relief?
• Is there a place for my husband to lie down or sleep somewhere during labor if he wants to?
• Are there ?time limits? on labour, as in some hospitals?}
• Do you allow food and drink during labour? }
• Do I have a choice of positions? What labouring positions are recommended? }
  Again you make this decision and tell them how you want to give birth - do not ask their permission.
• Is there a limit of how many people are allowed in the room?
• What is the policy if my baby is breech? Will you wait for him/her to turn around on his/her own?
  
  About my Post-birth Care/Stay
• How long do women usually stay in the hospital after birth?
• Is there a minimum/maximum?
• Can my husband spend the night in my room if he wishes to?
• When can family and guests visit me?
• Can immediate family (husband, my parents and siblings) visit out-of-hours?
• Is there an age limit on visitors?
• Can I breastfeed immediately after birth?
  This will depend on your birth but again you need to be clear with them that you want to attempt feeding immediately, do breast crawl, skin to skin etc
• If I end up needing a Caesarean and nothing is wrong afterwards, will the baby be placed with me while things are being "finished off"?
• Will the baby be staying with me all the time?
• Will I be sharing a room with another mother?
• How do you decide who shares with whom?

That is a fabulous list!! Well done

Just remember that you will need to be clear in your own mind of your own birth plan and preferences. Asking them their views on things will give the hospital the upper hand. If you want to feed straight away you demand it to be put into your file and make it known to staff when you go in when in labour, etc.
Take the time to discuss your own birth plan with them and how they will fit that in with their own policies
Many of your qustions will depend on circumstances at the time (ie rooming arrangements)

Ask about continuity of care through out labour - ie will you have the same midwife(ves) attending your labour consistently or whomever can get into your room.
You may also like to ask questions about the Hep B and Vit K shots given at birth - they will ask you to sign permission forms for these for your file - if you have questions or want to take some time to research these medications, take it - you do not have to sign straight away so ask them as many questions as you wish.

You may also like to ask them about nappies - some hospitals use cloth on newborns, any disposibles need to be provided by you, and vice versa.
I had heard of a hospital that made you bring in your own food when on the ward after birth so ask about that too

HTH

[Fleur]

I was going to say the same as Limeslice - some of those questions are better off worded differently IMO.
You will find that you will get more of what you want if you show that you are informed & strong in your wishes & decisions.
(You can let them know that you understand that things don't always go to plan but your birth preferences are just that- this is the way I wish to do it if possible.)
You could also ask that any decisions to the contrary be discussed with you fully although that's probably more of a birth plan thing - still I would gauge their reaction to it perhaps.
Also you don't have to get it all out in one appt (although maybe a good idea if changing hopitals is an option) - you might find that they will give you a heap of leaflets & refer you back to that - so be prepared to re-visit some of your questions next appt

It's a great list

[Daytona's Mummy]

Great list TeniBear, You've obviously put alot of thought into it!
I was just wondering though, when I've been at my appointments, I've really only had time to ask a handful, so have had to spread them out over a few appointments... Will you have time to ask them all? if not, maybe work out half a dozen or so that you really want answered for each appointment (hard I know cause they're all very important)... OR, wouldn't all/most of these questions be covered in your hospital run pre-natal classes? (is that what they're called?) and you usually get a tour with the class.
Definately ask the question about changing hospitals at this appointment though if you don't want to go there, otherwise, if you manage to change hospitals, you may have to ask the same questions over again.
HTH and Good luck with your pregnancy and precious reward at the end!!
Oh and make sure they give you your list for what to pack for your stay and labour, but they will proberbly give you some kind of info pack/ book that should tell you this and some of your above q's.

[HollyC]

I was just reading your list and thinking that most of those things were covered in the antenatal class I did at my hospital. We spent a day at the hospital with one of the midwives and did a tour of the ward and got lots of info. Does the hospital offer something like this?

I'm not sure if you will be seeing a doctor or a midwife at your appointment, but a lot of these questions would be better answered by a midwife who will be there for labour and recovery, rather than just to catch as some doctors are.

Also, there is a lot to cover here, so might be too much for one appointment and they might rush through. Very important that you are satisfied with the answers you receive.

Great questions, but maybe you could be a bit more assertive. Rather than asking what they will let you do, tell them what you want.

Good luck.

[TeniBear]

I've no idea what kind of things the hospital offers, I can't really find much information on it... I know I won't actually "ask" these questions (I'm hopeless face-to-face) but I'm going to hand over the list of questions and they can answer what they can there and I'll find out when they can get answered.

I really don't want to give birth there, so I'm looking for any way I can get out of that. That's why I want to ask so many questions about their policies etc., so I can do so and give good reason. but if they surprise me and they are able to do things "my way" then maybe I'll change my mind.

Grrr... this all comes back to me not knowing what to expect. I really need someone to hold my hand through this whole thing, to tell me what's meant to happen. What's going to happen. I'm SICK of being in the dark!

[Fleur]

Why don't you want to give birth there? Is there a reason, like have you heard they are not supportive of something in particular? Or is it just a preference?

WRT telling you what will happen...I'm not sure if you mean with the basic admissions etc or with your labour? I didn't go through all the info with my hossie until about 16-18 weeks I think, which was when I found out average length of stay, what I needed to bring etc.
If you are wanting to know what will happen during the labour, they will probably tell you that they can't tell you until it happens - every labour is different & there is no way of knowing ahead of time what exactly will happen. You have to be prepared to a certain extent to go with the flow.

It is good though to ask questions such as standard procedures when you arrive in labour, the availability of water for pain relief, how they will handle certian situations - it might give you a better idea of what to expect from them in that situation and whether they are likely to support your choices when you do make them. The way they answer your questions will probably give you an idea of what they are like, too.
So you might not get exact answers as to 'what will happen' but you should be able to get answers as to 'what will happen IF'..., and an idea of their overall 'feel' if that makes sense.

Don't be afraid to ask questions! There is nothing at all wrong with that! If it's easier, maybe break them up a bit so you don't have to get through them all in one go. You could ask the questions that really matter first & when you have made your decision then go through the rest later.

I hope it all goes well for you & you get some answers & things become a bit clearer for you

[TeniBear]

No, I don't mean during labour, I mean before all that. What's meant to be happening now, and the next 25 or so weeks...

It is more a preference thing, I want to have my baby at the best hospital I can get. I don't want to be shafted to another hospital just because they don't foresee any problems and I currently live closer to it. Almost makes me wish I was high risk, and it makes me so sad to say that. Isn't it enough that I'm a first-time mum and I'm scared? And how the hell do they know I'm not high-risk? They haven't even checked! How do they tell?

I don't know anything about the care at the Northern, whereas I've heard so many wonderful and supportive things about the Mercy and the Royal Women's. I don't have anything telling me the Northern is "good enough." I know it's not the same, but I've been in their Emergency ward so many times over the past couple of years, and the doctors there leave a lot to be desired.

Maybe I'm expecting too much too early in my pregnancy. Maybe soon I'll be sick of seeing doctors, or whoever the hell it is I'm meant to see before I have the baby... Where's the emotional support? Or any support?

[LimeSlice]

It is scary being a first time expectant mum!
It is your choice where you give birth hun.. Im not sure what the rules are over there anymore for these things, but you can ask as mamy questions NOW as you want.
I would suggest that you contact the midwife at the antenatal clinic and ask her the questions. Go into the hospital and ask for a copy of their maternity policies if you want to.
Check this out: Northern Health
If will give you some info on the hospital and you can go form there.

I hate to be negative, but the kind of support you are looking for - it doesn't come from the hospital. It comes from the mothers around you, from family and friends, from the fabulou scommunity of women here on BB.
It is hell scary where you are now, and there is the emotional support you are after out there, just not probably where you are expecting to find it.

Go out and look for a Calm Birth class, Lamaze classes, go to birth workshops - your local Maternal Child Health Centre should be a great place to start to look for these too.

Ask as many questions here as you can possibly think of - nothing is silly and nothing has not been asked or wondered by another mum somewhere - there is so much knowledge and support here for you to tap into. I fear though that you will not find this kind of support form a hospital clinic, they sinply have not the time nor resources to spend on Pastoral Care of antenatal patients.

Google Antenatal + birthing classes + Melbourne and you will find some great resources.


The other short answer to your question as to what should be happening now...you do anything and everything you can to prepare your body and your life for the arrival of your baby.
Yoga, Plates, classes, CalmBirth, HypnoBirth, research the pain relief options available - pethadine, epidural, gas, etc, plan your nursery and just generally enjoy your pregnancy!

HTH - what you are feeling is totally normal and I think just about every first time mum feels the same fear and anxiety.

[TeniBear]

I hate to be negative, but the kind of support you are looking for - it doesn't come from the hospital. It comes from the mothers around you, from family and friends, from the fabulou scommunity of women here on BB.

I didn't read that as negative at all The only "friends" I have who have kids are ones I've lost contact with, mostly by choice, and most of my family don't know yet, so I am feeling pretty alone. Even when my family do find out, my guess is that they won't be able to relate anyway - all my cousins are much older than me and the ones that have young kids now started late. The ones who started young have kids older than me... Two of my cousins are even grandparents! For now, yeah, I'll lean on all you lovely BB ladies

Ahhhhh I'm so confused, I don't even know what's bothering me, really... I'm a lostie lol

[Daytona's Mummy]

I was just as confused as you are right now when I was 1st pregnant with this baby! I honestly felt like It was my first pregnancy all over again! Thats how I came to find this lovely place (BB) and the wonderful world of knowelege and support!
In the end, I had to pretty much demand information from my ob's receptionist about what appointments, when.. I'm still taking a list of questions to every appointment, but at least now, I know what tests and appointments are due when, Most other things I have learnt from stalking the forum and especially my BB group.
I know what it is like to have your heart set on something, (like which hospital you want to go to) I wonder if it would work to tell them you want to go to the other one because you will be moving at some time during your pregnancy and you will have to go past this one to get to the one they want you at???
Have a look for a birth centre near you, they will give you heaps more support, A doula in your area would also be a big help and would proberbly have a pretty good idea to guide you through till your on your knowelege feet (so-to-speak)
Good luck, and as the others have said, just enjoy your pregnancy , everything will soon become alot clearer to you!!

[Fleur]

I hate to be negative, but the kind of support you are looking for - it doesn't come from the hospital. It comes from the mothers around you, from family and friends, from the fabulou scommunity of women here on BB.
It is hell scary where you are now, and there is the emotional support you are after out there, just not probably where you are expecting to find it.

Go out and look for a Calm Birth class, Lamaze classes, go to birth workshops - your local Maternal Child Health Centre should be a great place to start to look for these too.

Ask as many questions here as you can possibly think of - nothing is silly and nothing has not been asked or wondered by another mum somewhere - there is so much knowledge and support here for you to tap into. I fear though that you will not find this kind of support form a hospital clinic, they sinply have not the time nor resources to spend on Pastoral Care of antenatal patients.

Google Antenatal + birthing classes + Melbourne and you will find some great resources.


The other short answer to your question as to what should be happening now...you do anything and everything you can to prepare your body and your life for the arrival of your baby.
Yoga, Plates, classes, CalmBirth, HypnoBirth, research the pain relief options available - pethadine, epidural, gas, etc, plan your nursery and just generally enjoy your pregnancy!

HTH - what you are feeling is totally normal and I think just about every first time mum feels the same fear and anxiety.

:yeahthat: all of the above!

ok i get it now, I understand your worries.... you do sound a bit lost
It is scary having a baby & what you are feeling is very very normal, but I'm afraid I agree with LS - you won't get what you are looking for from a hospital (although you might get lucky & find a really nice midwife who will provide some comfort & ease a few worries).
A doula is a great idea, as are calmbirth classes if you can.
If not, there is BB

I'm not too sure what the rules are WRT what hospital you go to. It might be worth giving the Mercy a call & asking what happened to the forms you sent?
If you are going to feel better about things going there then that is probably going to be better for you - but then again, hopefully when you have your appt next week & you ask your questions you will get some reassurance & feel a bit better about things anyway.

Don't know if that made sense, I'm a bit foggy this morning but sending you hugs - I'm sure as time passes & you start to get a bit more info from whichever hospital you go to, you'll feel better about things.

ETA - with regards to if you are high risk or not -it's probably better for you to be treated 'normally' , I think it is better for them to assume you are NOT high risk unless there is a reason to think otherwise ITMS? Try not to worry too much

[HollyC]

I understand you are feeling a bit lost. My hospital seems to engage it's mothers to be a lot more, but being private I suppose they need to provide the service or people would go elsewhere.

All that being said, it isn't until 20 weeks that they really start to get into the having a baby stuff. Before that it is all just routine pregnancy checks and after 20 weeks there is more info about giving birth and care and all that.

So at your next appointment, maybe rather than asking your long list of questions you could just ask if there is a time when they go through all that. I would like to think that they intend to and maybe they just aren't up to that with you yet.

But first of all I'd be asking why you have ended up at a different hospital from where you wanted to go. It really seems to be bothering you so best to get some answers.

[Ayapi]

Teni - I do believe you were accepted at the Northern cause of where you live. The Mercy and RWH only take patients within their zones. I know it's hard but that's how it works in Melbourne unless you decide to go private then you can choose the hospital you want to go to. I love your list well done!

[Kirley64]

No, I don't mean during labour, I mean before all that. What's meant to be happening now, and the next 25 or so weeks...

It is more a preference thing, I want to have my baby at the best hospital I can get. I don't want to be shafted to another hospital just because they don't foresee any problems and I currently live closer to it. Almost makes me wish I was high risk, and it makes me so sad to say that. Isn't it enough that I'm a first-time mum and I'm scared? And how the hell do they know I'm not high-risk? They haven't even checked! How do they tell?

I don't know anything about the care at the Northern, whereas I've heard so many wonderful and supportive things about the Mercy and the Royal Women's. I don't have anything telling me the Northern is "good enough." I know it's not the same, but I've been in their Emergency ward so many times over the past couple of years, and the doctors there leave a lot to be desired.

Maybe I'm expecting too much too early in my pregnancy. Maybe soon I'll be sick of seeing doctors, or whoever the hell it is I'm meant to see before I have the baby... Where's the emotional support? Or any support?

Hey Teni,
As the other ladies have already said (i'm not from melbourne but its the same in Brisbane) there are zoning rules around those major hosptials - i suppose to get the large volume of ppl that they have in that small area as well as the major emergencies.
You might find that the hosptial that you are now at might give better care (after the birth in particular) because they don't have to care for such a large number of women and babies.

I do really like your list of questions... i would think that alot of them will be answered in antenatel classes ie. surrounding the birth itself as they are catered to each hosptial. I had my classes booked at my 12week appt... so i'd definately ask about those and what they cover, and you will probably find alot of those questions you can cover in the classes. Since we are belly buddies - you'l find that your classes aren't until very late in your pregnancy... mine aren't until March.

The hospital won't provide you much emotional support atm, they are there for medical reasons and thats it. You'll find being low risk you'll probably only have like four appts with them (excluding classes) the whole pregnancy. I suggest just find one person (whether online or in real life) to mentor you and be your 'go-to girl' for any questions you have. I'm pretty blessed to have a few other pregnant women and young babies and their mums around me atm... but for all the birth and pregnancy advice i go to the young mums and for all the venting i go to the pregnant ladies I find that helps... all you have to do is just ask someone. i''ve also found alot of info off this site and other sites surrounding waterbirth (cz i'm interested in that) and alot of other things that i wouldnt normally have known.
Have you tried buying and reading a pregnancy book? There are alot of great ones out there....
if you have any questions feel free to pm me