What do you wish you had been told about pregnancy/birth ?

[*Efjay*]

I have always been lucky, even though I have gone public each time, Hawkesbury hospital is good at spreading everyone one out. So not only did I get the same bed with the first 2 but both times only had someone else in the room with me for maybe a half a day. The first one left the next day. So I was there from about 7pm & she was gone the next afternoon. With my 2nd no one was inthere till I was going home later that day.

[Astrid]

My 2nd night in a new mum came onto the ward. The first thing I heard her say was "that was easier than expected!" I was ready to jump out of bed and beat the crap out of her, but then the midwife said "of course it was dear, you had an epidural". Anyway the new mum started going on about how she wanted the TV on, it was explained her that she couldn't until the next day, as they only do it during business hours. She went on and on for ages about wanting the TV on, she couldn't sleep. The midwife tried explaining to her that her baby will most likely sleep for a long time and to take advantage of it. Well she fell asleep quite quickly once the midwife left and snored the whole time. One of her friends had also given birth and would sneak in at all hours to grab her for a ciggie. The only time she held her baby was when she was feeding her, the rest of the time was spent smoking with her friend. I was so glad go after the final night as she was crying all night with her baby, poor thing. Her mother was lovely though she came in pastries and shared them with us.

[*Efjay*]

I would be so ****ed off if the main thing a new mother was doing while in hospital with a new baby is smoke. Gees. Sorry to any smokers out there but FFS you would think she could at least have made an effort not to smoke.

[BellyBelly]

Pregnancy - That you don't enjoy every second, that you don't always feel as glamourous as it looks and it comes with some very painful (and sometimes embarassing) side effects!!!

Birth - No matter how confident you think you are, as soon as you walk into hospital and again when you are in labour, that can all fall apart in a second. Go birth support!

Baby - It's not as simple as a little bit of sleep missing here and there - it's deprivation to the point of bloody torture!!! The most difficult job in the world but the most rewarding at the same time.

But I wouldn't have had it any other way or taken it back for a second

[Melly01]

Definitely the sleep deprivation. But even being told about how bad it was going to be didn't really prepare me for when it actually happened. I can understand why some people used to use it as a form of torture.

At my antenatal class the midwife said "Giving birth is like doing the biggest poo of your life!" I had no idea how true that statement would be LOL I kept telling the midwives that I needed to poo (sorry TMI) and they just said, "no dear, I think you're just having an urge to push"

Also that you still have a belly after you've given birth. I don't know what I expected to happen to it, but I wasn't expecting to still look pregnant.

And, I don't know about anyone else, but for about 2 weeks after I'd given birth, if I wasn't near DS, I always thought I could hear him crying. I felt like I was going mad.

[Bathsheba]

Yes! I'll back you up on the phantom crying sounds Melly! I found it was especially bad when I was in the shower. Typically I'd wait until baby was asleep then I'd hop in to wash my hair but then the phantom cries would start and (with my first baby) rinse everything out quickly and get straight out! With my second I learnt that there was proably only about a 5% chance baby was actually crying and even if it was true it wouldn't do much damage if I took the time to finish my shower. Maybe the solution is to carry a monitor around with you all the time but I've heard even worse stories of parent's lives being ruled by it!

[skyelar]

**TMI WARNING**

I wish I had of known about blood clots!! My placenta was quite ragged & my Dr said the rest would come away on its own. He was right :eek: the day after delivery I passed a massive blood clot as big as a baseball (sorry tmi)
I was petrified!!! I had one every day for the first 3 days then was fine. The feeling of it now still makes me shudder!

[Melly01]

Bathsheba, I'm glad I wasn't the only one. It did mostly happen in the shower, but I'm glad I didn't have a monitor in the bathroom with me because the shower was the only real "me time" I had everyday lol

skyelar, Oh yes, the blood clots! OMG That was a shock, only had one big one, but I was so worried that something was wrong :eek:
I know what you mean about the feeling of it..

[Lea13]

Still loving this thread girls... keep 'em coming!!

[enigma]

Yeah me too love reading all your responses , some real good advice in there aswell - BTW Lea not long to go now!!

[Jennifer13]

Well, you've all covered so much...!

Can I just say the one thing that I wasn't prepared for was how amazingly wonderful the whole experience of having my baby out in the world was. Nobody tells you that no matter how emotional you were during the pg nothing prepares you for the intense joy that makes you want to cry just thinking about her and holding her. Nobody tells you that the feelings you and your partner have for each other just multiply when you watch each other caring for this incredible new life you've helped bring into the world. Nobody tells you that you feel so much elation and wonder that you think you want to do it again and again and again!

The first mothers day brings with it the most shocking realisation that it's your day now, not your Mum's. DP told me he'd never driven so slowly and carefully as when he took us home from hospital.

Now I truly understand how a mother's soul is completely wrapped up in her child. I didn't know that I would wake during the night and panic because I couldn't find her right beside me. It's like she's still a part of me but not inside of me anymore.

It is so amazing watching her grow and develop every day. When I watch her face as I walk around with her I realise that she's seeing things for the first time and it gives me a new appreciation for the world around us. When I'm talking to her she concentrates so intently on what I'm saying that I feel like I'm going to burst. I can't believe I'm the most important person in the world to her! To have that position is humbling and I feel I can't possibly have done anything to deserve it.

Even though it isn't always easy there's a reason why we go back more than once, and now I know what it is!

[enigma]

wow Jennifer13 !! you make it sound amazing , now im looking forward to meeting my daughter more than ever.. and I hope my experience will be as rewarding as yours
Thanks!

[Bathsheba]

Beautifully wriiten and expressed Jennifer I agree totally.

[Lea13]

I have to agree with Jennifer13 - absolutely right!!!

Oh and no one ever mentioned to me that contractions do not have to be regular - I couldn't understand why I would get 3 strong contractions non-stop and then have none for 3 or 4 minutes...

Oh and this is probably the 3 day thing but no one ever mentioned that your body feels worse after a few days LOL. Day one was good, day two alright and day three was a little worse- day four was agony... stitches tightening etc - I'm surviving though LOL!

[WelshGirl]

Tick, tick, tick, yes I wish I'd been told all those things! Also, I wish someone had told me how your anus gets all stretched out, and after birth you have no flatus continence for a while (nice term for a VERY embarassing thing)!! As I was being stitched up, I was completely unable to stop myself from farting as the OB was leaning in to suture me...

OMG that made me laugh! As I was being given a spinal for my caesarian, I started to fart uncontrollably because I couldn't control my muscles! But what could I do!!!! I just didn't know where to look, especially as the anaethatist was totally gorgous!!!!!!!!!!! (perhpaps that wasn't the time, but hey). lol

I wish I had been a little more prepared for the 'baby blues' which are said to last about 5 days post natal. I couldn't stop crying!

[paradise lost]

I agree with what's been said so far. THe pregnancy was okay, but at the end (last 3 weeks or so) i was suddenly SO tired all the time, my body ached and i just felt so heavy. I had felt pretty normal up until then so it was an eye-opener!

Birth for me was very positive, and i don;t think anything happened i wasn;t expecting, though i was suprised that i didn;t seem to have any "stages" of labour - it was all one blurred event which very suddenly resulted in a baby. Maybe this was specific to me but i have a friend who had 3 definite stages and a short transition between 1st and 2nd, and she also registered huge shock when they put the baby on her tummy! LOL!

Sleep deprivation is hard, but things get better SO fast. When she was 3 weeks old i couldn;t wait for her to have a bottle (we decided to establish my milk supply and get her good at feeding by waiting until she was 6 weeks before giving anything but a breast or a finger to suck on) so i could have a good sleep. She's now great at bottle AND breast feeding and i'd far rather use my time to wite letters, email, swim or go out for dinner with friends than sleep!

Someone asked me recently how i felt about the whole deal. I would say it was much harder than i thought it was going to be, but FAR, FAR more rewarding.

HTH and GOOD GOOD LUCK!

Hana

[enigma]

Hoobley - yep.. the dreaded last 3 weeks.. im sure we all agree on that one!

[Fraser]

I wish someone had warned me not to read this thread!! LOL! I feel overwhelmed and frightened now!!! but at least I know some more stuff - thank goodness for Jennifer who put things into perspective a bit!

I wish that someone had told me about wind and air bubbles that get caught in your intestines when the baby moves around and squashes things - it's quite painful and uncomfortable but completely normal - also had no idea the constipation could be so bad but it all makes sense why and how.

Thanks ladies for enlightening me - you'll all be in my nightmares now!!