I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but having an OB as your main carer is probably the biggest thing in your way of having anatural birth. I am probably going to be shot down in flames for saying this, but I am only speaking from my experience here, and my journey has certainly been one of discovery.
When pregnant with my first, I saw an OB because I initially considered birth a life-and-death thing, and thought "If I am prepared to spend $2000 on wine in a year, then I am certainly not going to spend less on mine and my baby's life!" My DH thought I was insane - "Women have been having babies without OBs for years, we wouldn't have made it as a species if it was so dangerous", he said. But he went along with it. Then I read more and more about natural birth and got to know about the stuff on Bellybelly. And I went to a presentation by Rhea Dempsey on natural birth, and how the entire hospital system actually works against women in their quest for a natural birth. So I read and read and thought and thought and prepared myself for doing battle with the "system". At the back of my mind I was still terrified of birth and what it might bring.
My waters broke the day before my due date. My OB wanted to admit me right away with the promise of an induction in the morning. It took me saying, three times, that I wanted to labour at home, before he "let me" go home. That was a critical moment, because I am convinced if I had've stayed I would have ended up with a c-section. As it was, I laboured at home and didn't come to hospital til I was 9cm dilated (quite an achievement, in hindsight, as my son was in persistent posterior position right to the end). Luckily for me my OB was relatively hands off - after a synto drip after transition, an episiotomy and a managed third stage I pushed out my 3.9kg boy (while lying on my back!) without forceps or vaccum assistance. Sure I had stitches but I felt on top of the world - I could do anything! I dropped my private health insurance within a month - my next birth would be in a birth centre, because I could do it!
When I was pregnant with my second, I began reassessing my first birth. I distinctly recall getting quite annoyed with our own Bellbelly Kelly for daring to suggest that my first birth was not a "natural" one, but over time I came to see that it wasn't, and that there was a better way to do things. Like in the laxative ads, there is a "better kind of normal" LOL! I did a hypnobirth class and spent a lot of time delaing with my fear around birth, and my developing guilt - how could I have denied my first son good birth? How was it fair that my second child would be born in such a different way? Well, my second was born in a birth centre, with nary a vaginal exam in sight, completely au naturale. THAT was a good birth.
And now on the precipice of my third birth, I am booked in to the Sunshine Hospital homebirth program. I am planning on this being the "best" in a "good, better, best" progression of births. Sure there are still fears, concerns, worries - but it is oh so different now.
So after that great long ramble, what am I trying to say? I am not saying ditch your OB and run for the hills, as some would, because I think that a woman needs to approach and accept each birth with whatever is in her heart at that moment. Learn, read, worry, fret, rejoice, and do what you can to make this birth what you want it to be. But do not fear what it will become. It may be the first of many or your one and only. It may be your perfect birth or like my first, only the start of your journey of self discovery as a mother and life-giving goddess. As someone said "birth is about more than having a baby – it is about becoming a mother."
Reply With Quote
). So i'm not saying that your hubby won't stand up for what you want, I'm sure he will - but if he was faced by a dr saying your bub was at risk if he doesn't act? what then? that's a tough place to be. My doula was the one who would slow it down, ask the questions - is this urgent, can we discuss for 5 mins etc.
Bookmarks