FWIW I had a girl first and then a boy, and temperamentally they have both been pretty much the same.
I worried before he was born that I would be pushing my luck to get two gentle souls, but if anything he is an even more gentle than she is.
He was more clingy at first, wouldn't let me put him down in the first months, but it probably helped to establish a stronger bond between us, and once he could crawl I just learned to walk slower so that he could keep up.
You really don't need to worry, there are no hard and fast rules. I'm sure you'll be fine.
ok well my boy was a perfect child until a few months ago lol yep boy as lulu said machines of destruction but hes a cute kid when he not destroying things but so far my second is good too no screaming no reflux ok she doesnt self settle but booby does wonders so far so good fingers crossed for u xoxox
Jenna, I think there might be some truth in what your Mum said LOL - one of my brothers is a Jason and Holy Moly! From the moment he was born he was a handful of a child, had more lives than a cat and as a teen he was one more court appearance away from remand. Nearly did Mum's head in. But he did grow up and turn out OK in the end.
Angela, there is every chance that this babe will be totally different to what P was/is. That's just the way the genetic lottery works and there is nothing you can do about it. The baby may well end up being a lot more high maintenance and needing you a lot more than P did but I think that had your mother not said anything like that to you, that this wouldn't be an issue for you at all. My first baby was a truly Awesome Baby. He did everything that all *good* babies are supposed to do and has a gorgeous personality that is kind, gentle and considerate - not like a boy at all LOL. But then I had DD1 and she was a very high maintenance baby - cried all the time because she wanted to be where the action was all the time and hated being a baby I think because once she started crawling it all stopped. This is just her personality because she is still a highly emotional, high needs child and nothing at all to do with being the second born. She was also a handful as a toddler, but then so was our next DD and OMG DS2 puts the two of them to shame ROFL - he's incredible.
And if this baby is different in personality and needs to P, then you just deal with it, you have to kwim? You will meet this babies needs like you met P's needs and though it might be in a different way to what you did with P, it doesn't make any difference to anything. Even now we have to parent all 4 of our kids differently because they need to be because of their personalities mostly, but even if she was the same as P, it doesn't mean that you can do everything the same as you did with her, if that makes sense. Not only that, things are much easier to cope with once you have the second bub as you have a hell of a lot more confidence in your ability to do the right thing.
My DS has been what most would consider an 'easy' baby, apart from some sleep issues which have now sorted themselves out. He is happy, rarely clingy, happy to play by himself, but so affectionate and gentle.
I often wonder how on earth I'll cope with a baby who isn't so easy, so you're not alone .
Opposite here...lol.. I really hope I get a gentle one next time V is crazy but I love her and wouldnt change a thing although I am glad the worst seems to be over...for now,,,,
I have the same concerns as you, but i am trying to tell myself that i didnt know what i was doing last time, i have learned the better/gentler way to do things now, so hopefully this time around i will know what to do... but maybe not.
I think that it is normal for everyone to have these concerns, just the same as in the lead up to the first one, reality sort of hits and you thing OMG WHAT am i doing? HOW will i cope?
i think that it going to be adjustment.
And i dont think that you will stuff up P's life, you are going to give her the sibling that she will really want and need at some point (MJ is desperate for a little playmate now and DSS would have loved to have someone close to his age) Of course there will be an adjustment time, but there will be so many more positives for her than negatives in the long run.
Tell your Mum to keep her comments to herself, its hard enough these thoughs entering your head at times, but being told them is just totally uncalled for
I wrote this huge long thing about differences between babies and blah blah but I got rid of it because I think what it comes down to is this: when people give you advice/their opinion about anything to do with children and parenting and whatever, they're basing it on their experiences... at least, that's what I have to think whenever my mum weighs in. She said so many times when I was pregnant with T, "oh, how are you going to cope with them so close in age/you'll have your hands full/you'll certainly be very busy" etc etc.
And I realised (after surviving a hellish three months after T was born with what my current midwife thinks was probably mild PND, and not feeling like I could say anything to my mum about it) that it was all about her. She found it really hard to cope with two children, I don't know that she adjusted very well to having a very full-on son compared to a placid (somewhat spoilt!) daughter, she didn't have very much support from my dad or from anyone else, she had really difficult pregnancies, and when she talks to me about how many children I should have, or how close together I should have them, it's because she doesn't have good memories of that. I'm not her, and my children are not me and my siblings, and while yes, S was a lot 'easier' and quieter, and T had colic and was/is clingy, on the other hand, S still doesn't go to sleep that well, and still doesn't eat very well, and T is amazing how she goes down for naps and at night, and will try anything (food, new experiences, you name it!)
You can always focus on what the second one 'isn't' but then I think you realise that there's so many things s/he 'is' and it's fantastic
no advice other then to mention i sort of know how you feel with your Mum's comment cause when i was pregnant with my DD she would say " I reckon it's pay back for you now as i was in labour with you for 36hours "
i tried to find the humour in it but it did cause me some anxiety ... and needless to say my labour was for only 2.5hrs so goes to show such unneccessary wishful thinking on our Mother's behalf
(my DD sounds like your 1st bub too and i would have the same thing cross my mind with a 2nd bub, i think it's just natural)
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so far so good fingers crossed for u xoxox
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so goes to show such unneccessary wishful thinking on our Mother's behalf 
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