I hope this question isn't offensive, but those who know someone who didn't find out til they were like 20+ weeks - were they quite big ladies?

After 2 babies I just can't comprehend not realizing...
My friends DIL was very slim. Bub just wasn't a big baby, and she didn't show, just looked a little bloated. Bub also didn't move much. Some babies aren't big movers, another friend who knew she was pregnant and had a live baby said it was normal for her to go days without feeling her son.

This same friend (with the DIL) is also a midwife and cared for a women who was in labour and didn't know she was pregnant. She was late 40s, and also thought she was going through menopause, putting on weight, feeling tired, period stopping etc.. even whilst labouring she kept repeating "I'm NOT having a baby". It was very traumatic, but she couldn't have had a better midwife, my friend is amazing and was with her the whole way, she didn't leave that womans side until many hours after her shift. and she felt ok to do it, because the woman had named the baby, so that was acceptance.

the thing that is really crap about it all, is it is required us midwives report it to docs because of the "no antenatal care". But on the flip side, that does ensure they do get the extra support around them. and you would be surprised who comes out of the wood work with old cribs and blankets and food for the mum. A village really did help the woman that day.