My first thought was to donate it to another couple who are in the same place you were 4 years ago but you said you don't want to donate it so that's out.
Both our clinics send us information about what choices we have when our storage fee is due, ie: Use, donate or destroy (hate that word) They do however also include information on counselling that i think you MUST have if you are to donate, or dispose of your remaining embies.
Its a hard call. we have 13 in the freezer although i hope we will go back for more, in total over the years we have gone through over 90 eggs collected and over 50 frozen!
I hope you are able to find peace with what ever choice you make. GL
I am feeling a bit the same as you, we are now starting the process for hopefully #2 after 1 fresh and 3 FET's (7 emby's in total) to get our DD. We have 8 little frosties waiting for us and I'm in a strange headspace of thinking.... I hope we are successful first go and then also wanting to use all our frosties as the "what if" will probably be the hardest thing to get my head around.
My DH only wants preferably 2 little kidlets, although we have chosen to have 2 embryo's transferred as this is what we did to get DD and if we do happen to have twins then it would be a bonus. Saying that... if we did end up having all girls and if we still had any embryo's on ice I think I would be curious if any of those would be boys. Such a hard decision to make and I am dreading the possiblity of having to make such a decision myself.
Good luck with whatever you choose and I suppose you can always look at the upside that you still have some time before you need to make a decision and in the meantime things might change on the money front and then you might be able to move forward with using your little frostie.
I cant say what to do as we are not in the same situation but I just have to say you must be super mum 3 baby boys under sixteen months. WOW. I had to work it out 3 times to make sure I had it right.
Try using the councilor at the clinic that is what they are for.
It's a hard call
I think the first thing you should do is talk it through with your partner and a counsellor perhaps as well. And give yourself time - can you afford to keep it on ice?
I know when we first fell pregnant with DS we were dead keen to donate any leftovers we might have after finishing our family. But after he was born we felt completely different. The baby changed from being a hypothetical to a reality and I just wasn't sure if I could give up a child like that (I know it's not quite the same thing, but anyway). I personally hate the idea of destroying them and would rather they went to research or lab practice, but DH is deadset against that. Luckily we're not in the position of having to make that choice right now and still want to expand our family, so with any luck we won't have to.
All the best making your choice
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