Contraception - do you bother? (for LTTTCers)

[TaRhLi.]

Zap: congrats I didn't know you were expecting again. I can just imagine the shock you got..

Lenny: You are soooo nice, but really once these guys come out I realy don't think I could do another pregnancy when I'm pushing 40. My body just won't be able to handle it.

Brogey: I know a bit hypocritical about the tube tying thing. When I asked my Ob he told me if I went to the public hossy then no problem, but he is unable to do it at our Private hospital due to the Catholic view on contraception. Saying that though they are more than happy for me to have my IVF babies there and even though I refer to him as DH (we've been together 8 years) we aren't actually married, so they are also happy for an unmarried mother to give birth there as well.

[briggsy's girl]

we've not bothered - there is no way in hell i'm going on the OCP given the reaction i've had to it in the past, we're not AGAINST the idea of more, so meh, it will happen if it's meant to. given it took 3+years to get DD (and a multitude of intervention and surgery) it's not likely, and we won't be going back to AC unless some wealthy benefactor shows up - so we're leaving it up to nature. not trying, but not avoiding. almost two years and no pregnancies so i doubt it's gonna happen in a hurry.

i'm sure there will come a point for us as a couple where we decide that more children at this stage is just not viable, and we'll look at options (DH is an old fart lol) but until then, we run the "risk" of pregnancy every time we're together, and that's fine with us

[*beannaithe*]

This is an old thread but in one way fitting for our situation. We are in the "not totally infertile boat but would be a flipping miracle for a natural conception" and we decided to not try, not prevent. This was fine for the first few months, until the we-took-8-years-to-get-these-girls-how-can-i-ignore-my-cycle kicked in and I could feel myself getting overwhelmed each month in the lead up to my period. As we are so incredibly lucky to have our girls and I didn't want to be sacrificing them in any way by hankering after more and forgetting what I have, I got an iud put in. Now, 6 months later, I wonder if I've made a big mistake by taking away whatever minuscule chance we have when I would love another. So no, I am facing the dilemma of giving up on the dream of another baby or enabling it as much as possible but having to deal with the fallout every month. I really don't know what to do but I do know that the thought of never having another baby tears me in two.

[Mildez]

Just read the thread and I replied back in May 2011. I ended up getting AF back late 2011 and we actively were ttc since then except a few months off. I worked out it did take 27cycles to get pregnant with our next bub.

After this bub I am sure DH will have a vasectomy. I want to end my ttc days on a good note and DH is adamant he does not want more children so this little miracle will be it for us.

[Lenny]

I am still desperately clucky for another baby, but I accept my DHs desire to stop.
Contraception ( I didn't try the mini pill but got an iud) really just stopped me beating myself up every 28 days. Overanalysing things and getting excited if I was a few hours late, then mourning the 'what could have been'. It's over 4 years since ds2 came into the world, that's how long it took to conceive ds1. Maybe we would have been lucky and conceived the super surprise baby. But probably not. But I'll never know. I do think about it all still.

I often feel fortunate to 'know' you ladies. This jumble of feelings would hardly make sense to anyone else.

[Bloom]

This thread came up at just the right time for me.

I am one of "those women" who had IVF (first two babies) and then fell pregnant naturally! We didn't use any form of contraception at all between pregnancies and we agreed that we would be delighted with a miracle bub. (And we were delighted but very very surprised to find myself pregnant naturally!) It did change our plans in terms of going back to work, having a significant overseas trip with extended family, etc.

Plus if we didn't fall pregnant naturally, we would have gone back to do IVF with the hope of having 2 more (total 4) children. However, now with 3 children (and no frosties), we don't want to do IVF to have one more baby (we believe that every frostie should be transferred as life begins at conception, so we wouldn't feel comfortable destroying a frostie)

So, we aren't using contraception but aren't expecting to fall pregnant either but at some point we'll have to decide that we wouldn't want a surprise miracle and think about birth control.... But I'm not sure if that will be when DD3 (our youngest) reaches Grade 1 or some other time... I think I'd prefer not to be pregnant after 35 (leaving me only 3 years or so) but I know that lots of people are successfully pregnant after 35 and I realised I'm very blessed to have had the chance to have 3 kids before 35!

Funny area that this whole thought process is impacting is buying a 7 seater car! We'd like to be able to take friend's kids and nieces and nephews places, but we'll need a bigger car. However, I think the car that we'd buy for occasionally using 7 seats would be different to the car we'll buy if we always need 6 seats (for a family of 6)... But we don't know which one will be us until we decide to stop trying or have a fourth!.

[~TT40~]

This is an old thread but in one way fitting for our situation. We are in the "not totally infertile boat but would be a flipping miracle for a natural conception" and we decided to not try, not prevent. This was fine for the first few months, until the we-took-8-years-to-get-these-girls-how-can-i-ignore-my-cycle kicked in and I could feel myself getting overwhelmed each month in the lead up to my period. As we are so incredibly lucky to have our girls and I didn't want to be sacrificing them in any way by hankering after more and forgetting what I have, I got an iud put in. Now, 6 months later, I wonder if I've made a big mistake by taking away whatever minuscule chance we have when I would love another. So no, I am facing the dilemma of giving up on the dream of another baby or enabling it as much as possible but having to deal with the fallout every month. I really don't know what to do but I do know that the thought of never having another baby tears me in two.

That is such a ****ty position. *Hugs* unfortunately its one only you and hubby can make. But if you dont feel right having the contraception then dont. You need to do what makes you feel most comfortable, both options wont be ideal, but one will feel better.
My dh and i haven't used one piece of contraception ever. Even when we first hooked up (which i know is bad, as we.werent offically an item first time we did it) but nearly 7 years and no natural, for me means it will never happen so i dont worry about cycles etc. Even tho im a crazy optimistic cause i still hope it might.

[Marley&Me]

Yep, having the same dilemma here too. Fell naturally, took 3 years. Still a bit scarred from the early days with dd and losing my mind. That coupled with terrible morning sickness. I am unsure if I can do it all again so unsure what to do. We aren't using any contraception and I have pcos and crazy long cycles. So bcp actually helps my symptoms, but I'm afraid if I go back on it it will take another 3 years to conceive should we decide to have another.

[myturn]

I'll be unlikely to ever go on contraception again. I'm 37 and it took 4 years and 9 IVF transfers to get dd so if we get a natural miracle or two or more I will be ecstatic. Having said that if it does happen quickly we may change our mind. Hubby is happy to yo along with what I want for now though. We also gave been lucky to have a very good sleeper so it makes another feel like a possibility.

[*beannaithe*]

Didn't really know what I was missing out on last time round but now I do and the thought of no more baby is really hard. But is it worth risking my sanity in what will likely be a long and fruitless process