I completely understand where you are coming from!
We were LTTTC-ers before our first baby and because of that decided small age gaps were going to be better for us. We had our three boys in 3 years. We decided to continue on for baby #4 but unfortunately we had another stint at LTTTC and I had 4 miscarriages. Im 13wks pregnant now and my youngest son will be 4y1m when baby is born. We NEVER intended of having a big age gap like that at all and I have so many reservations about it, especially with the other kids being so much older. I wish it were different but we got dealt the hand we did and Im just going to hope for the best. I keep trying to remember the perks of a larger age gap vs the smaller ones we had before but its a very scary prospect, isnt it?
I was terrified of it. I'm not LTTTC, but I had a molar pregnancy and enforced wait before TTc again. Before I even had number 1, I was just so worried about the emotional impact of not being able to control that age gap. But I tried to be very zen about it all, when thinking about number 2, and let the universe decide when the time was right. As a result, weve ended up with a much smaller age gap than I'd ever imagined or planned, but that's just how it was. I'm so sorry that you're in this place
There are pros and cons to every age gap, and none is perfect. When you get that rainbow baby in your arms, timing won't matter a scrap. It will be a golden moment no matter how far apart your kids are. But I will cross my fingers that it's sooner rather than later for you.
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