Did you ever think it impossible?

[Baby Bliss]

Hi there,

I have always wondered, and wanted to ask those who were able to move on from ltttc/AC - did you reach a point where you had had so many negatives, and battled so long that the idea of it ever actually REALLY working seemed fanciful and unrealistic.. impossible to imagine?

I ask because we have been going 4 years now, and the thought of it being US that gets that news.. it just seems like the same odds of winning lotto, you know? And that rarely happens to most people. Why would it be us?! And then I feel guilty because thats not positive thinking and I worry that being that negative is detrimental somehow... (Yes I overthink WAY too much).

I just wonder if you felt like that or if I need to change my thought patterns (I swear I try!). Thank you (and congratulations!!)

[sushee]

Kell,

oh yes I absolutely know how you feel. I actually said to my DH once that I felt I had better chance of winning lotto than falling pg, and that is exactly what it felt like to me. I felt like that when I did my last (successful) cycle, so I would say to you, allow yourself to let go of that one stress, because no your negativity is not affecting your chances, I promise.

It is very hard not to be beaten down by this process, you are only human hun! But know you're more resilient than you believe, and I'm certain that the people around you are amazed by your strength, everyday.

[Baby Bliss]

Thanks so much, Sushee. It is hard to imagine it a reality, but it happens to others, so maybe it will for us yet too.

[nic]

Kell,
I think it is something every longtermer/AC person goes through. We TTC #2 for over 5 years. We had the belief that if our having another child meant going the AC path, then we didn't want to do it as we were already blessed with a beautiful girl. But we decided to bite the bullet and find out what was going on. I got through our TTC years by believing that it was another month down and 1 month closer to our BFP. I had bad months/days too, but I believe you need the bad days to appreciate the good ones sometimes.
I believe it will happen for you Sending you lots of BFP vibes..

Nic

[smiles4u]

Hello there KELL,

My friends would often tell me to NEVER think negative thoughts BUT I said I must ALLOW myself to, in order to make room for all the huge positive thoughts & notions that I also & obviously needed to feel.

I finally after years of trying had my 1st bub at 40.

Whilst I was in the hospital shower after I gave birth naturally - I looked at myself in the mirror naked & saw the most amazing person standing in front of me which was myself saying " I can't believe it & I did it at 40.... I'm so proud of myself that I never ever lost sight of my dream to have a baby "

Be honest with yourself KELL ... And feel emotions of what comes naturally. Don't fight the negative feelings JUST make sure they don't out weigh the POSITIVES !!!

KEEP THAT DREAM ALIVE IN YOUR HEART KELL

[Baby Bliss]

Oh... you all have me teary. I found this quote today and thought it apt:

“Faith isn't faith until it's all you're holding on to.”

I also love this one: When the world says, "give up", hope whispers, "try it one more time."

Things like that, and people like you all, inspire me to keep after it. I think because I am a week out from cycle 2, I am starting to overthink it all, and I just need to get in and get going again. Thank you so very much.

[satya]

Just before this pregnancy was achieved I thought I was never going to get past 6 weeks with a pregnancy. I have been trying since I was 28 (I'm now 41) and had only had 3 very shortlived pregnancies in that time. At just over 17 weeks I am only now just starting to realise that this one could be the one we get to bring home.

[runnermum]

wow - tthis thread has really caught my eye as well - and put a tear in also!

I really don't feel alone when I read that others like me are going through the long hard journey of TTC.

I just visited my good friend in hospital who just had her 3rd baby. My little 5 year old held the baby in his arms and I just cried. It was beautiful but hard at the same time to see this. But as we walked out together to go home, I realised the visit only made me more determined to keep trying and hoping for the miracle - a sibling for my first miracle child.

Some days are harder than others, but I want to believe that one day, will be our day. and I really, really hope it will be for you too babybliss!!

[mollycat]

I guess we all have had the thought that it is impossible, but we all know that anything is possible.

I fell pg with my first son on the pill,(1991) I had no idea what was to come and went back on the pill after his birth, when he was about 15mo, we decided to try for another child. Well over twelve months later, and still no pg, we went looking for answers. I had blood tests, a lap, went to see FS, hubby had tests, no real reason just "unexplained secondary infertility". A few cycles with clomid and 3 years after we TTC, I fell pg (1996). I spotted at 8w but went on to have a healthy son. Knowing that we had trouble conceiving, i never went back on the pill, but continued to try but not to try to conceive. After nothing happened, I went back to FS, more clomid but no luck. We took a break from TTC, but did nothing to stop anything from happening, in 2006 we decided that this would be our last chance (i didn't want to be an old mum - just personal decision), I went to our local GP and asked for referral to a gyno. I walked into the gyno's office, he took one look at me and said I think you've got PCOS, we'll send you for tests, so many blood tests later, lap, etc. results were PCOS and endo. After a hysto, also discovered i had a blocked tube and polyps. The tube was unblocked, polyps removed, put on metformin and more clomid, I have also lost about 20kg. Still nothing. About two months after clomid (gyno took me off this, as he doesn't like extended doses) I finally fell pg. Ten and a half years after my second child. (2007) Unfortunately I had a m/c at 8w.

But now I do know that the impossible can happen, we have given ourselves a little bit longer to TTC with the hope that sometime in the next twelve months we will be able to have an addition to our family.

[monnie]

Absolutely!

After so many weeks, months, years of disappointment...you do feel like it's just not going to happen.

We tried for 3 years with nothing happening (I realise it's not as long as others)...but for 36 times in a row it was disappointment. We too thought it was never going to happen...

But then...a miracle...he's now 6 months and I still can't quite believe he's here.

Don't give up...hang in there...remember 'it's always darkest just before dawn'...just when you feel you can't handle it anymore, a miracle appears.

Take care!

Be kind to yourself.

Monnie

[Baby Bliss]

remember 'it's always darkest just before dawn'

I love that! I'm inspired by these posts, thank you.

[tiggerlinda]

Thanks to Kell for starting this thread

Thanks to everyone for thier inspiational stories and quotes

[Lucia]

I am having one of those days today and wondering what the point of it all is.

It sucks and these type of days are really hard but I guess you just have to think it makes you stronger somehow

[visitor10]

Monnie - I must say what you said inspired me also.

Kell - I don't have any words of inspiration 4 u unfortunately hun but I hope you know that there are many girls who are feeling the exact same way as yourself...take me for example. I'm half way through the tww and just feel empty and that this could not possibly have worked. So don't feel bad about feeling bad..it is totally natural and just shows how much it means to you to have ur own lil bubba in ur arms.

My thoughts & prayers are with u xx

[Destiny]

Baby Bliss as long as you have the strength to keep going don't give up....it took us almost 4 years to conceive our little miracle.

There were times in the 4 years after the negative results that I believed I would never be a mum, never know the joys of pregnancy .... but it is all worth it...every single tear, every single cent spent ....

Hang in there and hope you also get your little miracle soon xx