Thanks guys. I really didn't think we'd be thinking about this at all, and probably wouldn't be if AF wasn't such a stark reminder or what a ***** my reproductive organs are. To the person who asked which was worse...children closer together or none at all, I'd definitely prefer closer together. No more children would break my heart.
As well as wanting to complete our family by 30, I want to finish a degree in that time also. So 3 years between children and a 3 year degree makes it a rather tight squeeze. I'm thinking more and more that it's looking like we may be completing our family into our 30's. So although on the face of it we have a good 8 years up our sleeves, it will be tight. And although it is something thy is important to DH and I that we be done by 30 (DH's dad died last year, he was 74 ) it's looking like it will have to be flexible. My uterus and tubes are just going to get worse and worse. I got PID from a d&c 3 years ago that left a lot of scarring in my uterus and tubes, and my left tube is partially blocked. The PID has reoccurred once since then which left more damage. Add PCO into the mix, only ovulating randomly and sometimes not at all, and having a luteal phase that jumps from 5 to 16 days, and possible endo. The FS also mentioned DH's sperm condition will start to deteriorate after the age of 30. So I'm feeling torn...do we TTC earlier than anticipated (in 6 months) on the assumption that it will take ~2 years to conceive again, running the risk that we may get pregnant sooner than we hoped (by about a year)...or do we TTC around the time we wanted, hoping we fall quickly? I'm still not quite sure which is 'worse' for me...a pregnancy a year earlier than we wanted, or one 2+ later. Either way, I'm going to make an appointment with my gyno and get everything checked out, see how everything is looking and go from there I guess. I really appreciate all this feedback.
I think about this all the time PZ!
I am 29 and DH is 36 and we don't even have 1 yet We wan't 2 children so if I'm lucky and conceive n the next 6 months, we will probably start trying within 12 months. Given my age and the fact it's already taken us over 2 years. I always wanted about a 2 year age gap, but I realise now that that may not be a good idea.
We were looking at wanting 2-2.5 yr gap. But because we needed help (metformin to establish cycles) with DS, we decided to start trying at 12 mths. I wasn't going to try earlier than that as I didn't want to affect breastfeeding in that first 12 months. Turns out I was super fertile after baby! We fell 2nd attempt. I had beautiful clockwork ovulatory cycles from 3 months post baby. So our first gap is closer than intended.. and closer still cos she was prem! LOL.
Again, cycles were beautiful 5mths post baby but the desire for #3 took a little longer.. and took a little twisting of DH's arm too So I think Kayla was 18+months old when we started TTC. And by that 18 months, my cycles were taking a turn for the worse and as you know were getting longer and longer and longer. All my fertility problems were returning and it took 16 mths to fall. So we have a 3 1/2 yr age gap. I must say, watching the age gap get longer and longer than what we wanted was hard Cos the other two were close in age, I didn't want the 3rd to be too distanced from the 2 of them. But you take what you can get really (and TBH we're enjoying the age gap )
So I guess from my experience, I would start TTC at the very minimum age gap you think you could cope with, and hope for the best I guess! In my case it's evident that my fertility is quite good after baby, and dwindles again over time (AF returned this time at 3 1/2 months). So I wouldn't want to be leaving it too long.
It's amazing how quickly the time goes tho hey. Our babies are nearly 6 months old already.. and if we were going for #4 i'd be wanting to start TTC again in only 6 months! LOL! Sadly... ain't gonna happen :/
while im not a LTTC-er, i have difficulties with pregnancy that requires bed rest for 3/4 of my pregnancy....
im like you, horrified at the thought of falling pregnant now, it terrifies me BUT i think taking the consideration the fertitlity side of things, as someone else mentioned id start trying when u would get the minimum gap you would be happy with.
It took me 12 months to conceive DS1 after a MC, I always wanted a close age gap so when AF turned up when DS1 was 6 months old we decided to see how my cycle was for a couple of months so we knew when to TTC, I anticipated it would take ages and I would be a crazy POAS psyco again as well as temping but I didn't need to as we fell preg the first month we tryed! This did freak me out as I think mentally as much as I thought close would be nice I didn't expect it to happen!!! My boys are 18 months and 4 days apart and its fantastic!
Good luck its hard call when there as so many medical issues involved but you do need to ensure your mental health is going to be ok if you were to conceive earlier than you originally planned as 2 young and in nappies is hard work!
) it's looking like it will have to be flexible. My uterus and tubes are just going to get worse and worse. I got PID from a d&c 3 years ago that left a lot of scarring in my uterus and tubes, and my left tube is partially blocked. The PID has reoccurred once since then which left more damage. Add PCO into the mix, only ovulating randomly and sometimes not at all, and having a luteal phase that jumps from 5 to 16 days, and possible endo. The FS also mentioned DH's sperm condition will start to deteriorate after the age of 30. So I'm feeling torn...do we TTC earlier than anticipated (in 6 months) on the assumption that it will take ~2 years to conceive again, running the risk that we may get pregnant sooner than we hoped (by about a year)...or do we TTC around the time we wanted, hoping we fall quickly? I'm still not quite sure which is 'worse' for me...a pregnancy a year earlier than we wanted, or one 2+ later. Either way, I'm going to make an appointment with my gyno and get everything checked out, see how everything is looking and go from there I guess. I really appreciate all this feedback.
Reply With Quote
We wan't 2 children so if I'm lucky and conceive n the next 6 months, we will probably start trying within 12 months. Given my age and the fact it's already taken us over 2 years. I always wanted about a 2 year age gap, but I realise now that that may not be a good idea.
So I think Kayla was 18+months old when we started TTC. And by that 18 months, my cycles were taking a turn for the worse and as you know were getting longer and longer and longer. All my fertility problems were returning and it took 16 mths to fall. So we have a 3 1/2 yr age gap. I must say, watching the age gap get longer and longer than what we wanted was hard 
its a tough one
Bookmarks